Watching The Wheels Go Round and Round

[JMD]

Like the John Lennon song. Anyone else feel like your watching the world go by without participating.

[Tiger Racing]

Originally Posted by JMD

Anyone else feel like your watching the world go by without participating.

You do? Sorry to hear that. If you aren't participating, why not? What can you do to change this?

C.

[Rrrrronnn]

Originally Posted by JMD

Like the John Lennon song. Anyone else feel like your watching the world go by without participating.

Yes, at the lowest point of my depression. It suct watching my friends play sports, go swimming in the ocean, and do so many things I used to love doing.

But then I started to find things I could do, and still receive similar satisfaction. It was a bitch gettin out of that rut, and I fell back in several times. But as I found new things that were satisfying to me, those ruts eventually became minor dips. I still get affected by them now n then, but I can get out of them much easier.

[Curt Leatherbee]

Wow that song brings back memories, the album Double Fantasy came out six months before I was injured in November of 1980, I was in my Junior year of College, and that song "watching the wheels go round and round" was at the top of the charts when I was injured May of 1981. John Lennon was probabley one of the greatest musicians ever no doubt, heres a video of that song...http://video.aol.com/video-detail/jo...eels/716419448 Heres more on Wiki about that album, he died 3 weeks after the album came out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Fantasy

Anyhow, about you JMD, get busy, take up some new interests, stay active, theres still lots and lots you can do.

[JMD]

Sure do feel like that. Im 5 years post. Had a good career, steadily moving up the ladder, good family life and then the rug was pulled out from under. Now I just put my time in one day at a time. Watch friends and family go places, do things, look forward to things, advance in life, enjoy life ... sigh ... cant say the last time I enjoyed or looked forward to anything.

My employer wont take me back but I can continue on collecting disability (50% salary), getting benefits including accruing pension until retirement .... about 18 more years. Seems like all that education was in vain.

Cant get a job anywhere else since that would terminate my current situation. So its a catch 22 .... stuck at my salary level from 2002.

Just feeling sorry for myself ... again ... thinking about looking in to volunteering somewhere, but not sure where. Just the thought of 30-40 more years of this whole situation is overwhelming and even more depressing.

On a brighter note..it looks like my 18 month old pressure sore may not make it past 20.... thankfully

EDIT: Wow...you got the song right Curt! Thanks for the links. We are about the same age. I was in my sophomore year of college when John Lennon was murdered. I can still remember seeing the news reports. Sad. That is a great album.

[Curt Leatherbee]

Ever thought about riding a handcycle? Now those are some fun wheels to watch going round and round, it'll take you places you've never been, new bike paths and adventures. If you can try out sailing too, thats another great thing to be involved with, not sure where you live, but even if its not near the ocean, there is always lake sailing. If you like cars at all, maybe get a sports car and join a car club. Dont dwell on the negitive stuff, get involved in new positive stuff thats all.

I'm about 5 years older than you, had got a business degree first then was on my second degree when the accident happened.

[1 Fine Spine RN]

Of course I do not know your current health situation but there is plenty out in the world for you to become involved in, especially at your injury level. It seems like you are saying that while not optimal, your current financial situation is at least liveable. If that is the case then perhaps you can consider getting involved in some volunteer work. There are many many avenues you can go down if looking for vital things to be involved in is what you are after.

Curt is someone who has not let his paraplegia stop him from living a full and vital life. He would have suggestions that are tried and true. Consider affiliating yourself with some organizations such as Working2Walk, coming to DC this spring and learning to lobby for research dollars. It seems as though someone with your particular expertise would be a godsend to that type of organization.

There are many avenues for being involved in living a strong and vital life. There is no question that there are challenges but if you search around this site long enough you will find many ways how people with similar injuries have begun to live worthwhile lives and to even have lots of fun.

The injury still intrudes on all levels...do not think I am being frivolous about that. All I am saying is now might be the time to start carving out a new road.

Mary

[Tiger Racing]

Originally Posted by JMD

Now I just put my time in one day at a time. Watch friends and family go places, do things, look forward to things, advance in life, enjoy life ... sigh ... cant say the last time I enjoyed or looked forward to anything.

Most people around here have gone through slumps and depression, but the only way out of the Pit is to start climbing. You have to DO things in order to get past this.

Cant get a job anywhere else since that would terminate my current situation. So its a catch 22 .... stuck at my salary level from 2002.

Lots of people make career changes that involve a bit of security risk, whether they are AB or have a disability. The only "Catch 22" would be if you are in current need of the benefits you are receiving and would need to struggle for too long a time at another job in order to achieve the level you currently receive. Is that the case? For instance, is your current situation paying for some hefty medical bills now and is the only job you are qualified for one that would provide lesser insurance for a time? At your injury level, there would seem to be a world of opportunity out there. Not to say it would be easy, but then, life isn't easy for most people. That doesn't mean that one should settle for less than they are capable of, desire or deserve.

Just feeling sorry for myself ... again

It happens. The good news is that you recognize it. Now, the hard part is, you need to do something about it.

C.

[JMD]

Thanks for all the replies. Lots of good advice. I'm just going through another down period. I am currently looking into the volunteer thing ... I believe Ill feel more useful helping popple.

As for the career change it scares the hell out of me. I currently have great benefits and the added defined benefit pension plan upon retirement ... thats becoming more scarce among employers. And with two children (one heading to college in less than two years) I don't want to screw things up more than necessary.

As for the hobbies..yeah i really need one. It used to be computers but that just contributes to the cocooning mentality.

Again..thanks for all the supportive comments.

[Foolish Old]

JMD, first, posting here is a good start at changing how you feel. Stating your desire for change has power.

Second, if your health allows, do something physical that will get your heart beating faster and put a smile on your face. Curt had good suggestions with hand-cycling and sailing. There's lots of other sports available to people with SCI. Not to get too personal, but sexual intimacy can also be important in combating feelings of isolation.

Volunteering is a great way to connect with your community. As a CPA, there are lots of organizations that would get in line for your assistance. Or, use the volunteer work to explore something new and different that you find interesting.

Good luck, buddy! I'm glad you decided not to let life pass you by.