Suicidal thoughts VS. Thoughts of Suicide

medic1 · 12-17-2006, 06:02 PM

Is there a difference between these two? I am wondering if there is difference between these two thoughts. I don't consider myself suicidal nor do I think I ever have been. I do wonder sometimes of if I did do it how could I do it. Not that I have ever planned it or anything. But I have thought about the different ways in which one may attempt to do it. Are these the same thing? Every time my therapist asks if I have had thoughts of suicide I answer no, should I be answering yes?

Am I even Making sense?

lynnifer · 12-17-2006, 06:18 PM

If it makes you feel any better, most normal people do have thoughts of suicide at one time or another. I think it's pretty natural.

I remember one of the staff sergeants here (cop shoppe) talking about going to a mental health conference - all top brass - and a staggering number of them had reported feeling suicidal at one point in time. These are people who don't even deal with their body betraying them (as I like to put it). These are physically healthy, financially well-off people.

I always maintain that it's okay to 'swim in the vicinity' but don't play with the sharks ... it's pretty darn final!

I've told this story before - but I remember coming home from the hospital at 12yrs old and waiting until everyone had gone to bed - upstairs. I could no longer reach my bedroom upstairs in that old country home so I slept on a bed in the dining room. I got out of bed in the middle of the night and held a shot gun in my mouth for a few minutes to see what it would be like. I was afraid of the mess my parents would have to clean up so I didn't do anything - even though I knew how to load it and operate it. If a 12yr old newly paralyzed kid who felt so alone can find hope - I hope you can too. I'm ecstatic that I'm still here.

It may be cliche but everybody cares about somebody. You are connected.

ETA, after re-reading your post I guess I really didn't answer your question but I stand - errr sit by what I've said. I still think it's normal to entertain these thoughts - but not continually - and not to the point that it consumes everday thought and you can't see anything else.

SoFla · 12-17-2006, 07:07 PM

Indeed, there is a difference. I think about suicide, yet I don't consider myself suicidal. Should the day come when I face a slow, painful, miserable death, I'll take my own life. I have a closet full of pills. I'm not afraid of death. It's our destiny, from the time we are born. To me, being suicidal means feeling in the depths of despair. That's not me.

alan · 12-17-2006, 08:42 PM

I think about suicide, but a) I'm really not ready to take that step, and b) I haven't figured out a way to do it yet (blasted lack of hand and finger function.)

justadildo · 12-17-2006, 11:55 PM

....what so-fla said....

addiesue · 12-18-2006, 01:43 PM

Some days I'm only here because of my kids. Other days I am happy to be alive. But I was like this prior to my injury so.... Wonder what will happen when they are grown. Of course I always thought I'd jump so at least I can't climb all that high anymore.
I don't want to do it but I think about it. Maybe that happens to most.

bob clark · 12-18-2006, 04:11 PM

If you were ever to do it, take out a $1,000,000 life insurance policy first and wait a year or two. They aren't that expensive. Butja might wanna check out the suicide clause just in case. Might be a 2 year wait for that to go into effect. And take a nice long drive without your seatbelt on and when the Interstate looks good and deserted at 4:00AM speed up to about 80MPH and just aim for the center of a concrete bridge abutment. Another falling asleep at the wheel accident. That way you leave your friends and family a little going away/burial money. I think about suicide every day.... well, maybe every other day. I'm kinda forgetful.

zillazangel · 12-19-2006, 11:18 AM

suicidal thoughts .... just running it around in your head

suicidal ideation ... you have a definite plan

That's how I think about it anyway, from someone who has BTDT

addiesue · 02-08-2007, 12:54 PM

the suicidal thoughts don't bother me but what about homicidal............
joking

adi chicago · 02-08-2007, 01:11 PM

i think only about angels.here is a nice one.lol

12-17-2006, 06:02 PM	#1
medic1 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ishpeming, MI USA Posts: 1,049	Suicidal thoughts VS. Thoughts of Suicide Is there a difference between these two? I am wondering if there is difference between these two thoughts. I don't consider myself suicidal nor do I think I ever have been. I do wonder sometimes of if I did do it how could I do it. Not that I have ever planned it or anything. But I have thought about the different ways in which one may attempt to do it. Are these the same thing? Every time my therapist asks if I have had thoughts of suicide I answer no, should I be answering yes? Am I even Making sense?

12-17-2006, 06:18 PM	#2
lynnifer Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Windsor ON Canada Posts: 15,436	If it makes you feel any better, most normal people do have thoughts of suicide at one time or another. I think it's pretty natural. I remember one of the staff sergeants here (cop shoppe) talking about going to a mental health conference - all top brass - and a staggering number of them had reported feeling suicidal at one point in time. These are people who don't even deal with their body betraying them (as I like to put it). These are physically healthy, financially well-off people. I always maintain that it's okay to 'swim in the vicinity' but don't play with the sharks ... it's pretty darn final! I've told this story before - but I remember coming home from the hospital at 12yrs old and waiting until everyone had gone to bed - upstairs. I could no longer reach my bedroom upstairs in that old country home so I slept on a bed in the dining room. I got out of bed in the middle of the night and held a shot gun in my mouth for a few minutes to see what it would be like. I was afraid of the mess my parents would have to clean up so I didn't do anything - even though I knew how to load it and operate it. If a 12yr old newly paralyzed kid who felt so alone can find hope - I hope you can too. I'm ecstatic that I'm still here. It may be cliche but everybody cares about somebody. You are connected. ETA, after re-reading your post I guess I really didn't answer your question but I stand - errr sit by what I've said. I still think it's normal to entertain these thoughts - but not continually - and not to the point that it consumes everday thought and you can't see anything else. __________________ I think over again my small adventures, My fears, Those small ones that seemed so big, For all the vital things I had to get and to reach; And yet there is only one great thing, The only thing, To live to see the great day that dawns And the light that fills the world. Anonymous (Inuit, 19th century) T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12 Last edited by lynnifer; 12-17-2006 at 06:24 PM.

12-17-2006, 08:42 PM	#4
alan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Baltimore, MD Posts: 6,185	I think about suicide, but a) I'm really not ready to take that step, and b) I haven't figured out a way to do it yet (blasted lack of hand and finger function.) __________________ Alan Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

12-18-2006, 01:43 PM	#6
addiesue Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: TN Posts: 4,463	Some days I'm only here because of my kids. Other days I am happy to be alive. But I was like this prior to my injury so.... Wonder what will happen when they are grown. Of course I always thought I'd jump so at least I can't climb all that high anymore. I don't want to do it but I think about it. Maybe that happens to most. __________________ If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

12-18-2006, 04:11 PM	#7
bob clark Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Florida Posts: 3,653	If you were ever to do it, take out a $1,000,000 life insurance policy first and wait a year or two. They aren't that expensive. Butja might wanna check out the suicide clause just in case. Might be a 2 year wait for that to go into effect. And take a nice long drive without your seatbelt on and when the Interstate looks good and deserted at 4:00AM speed up to about 80MPH and just aim for the center of a concrete bridge abutment. Another falling asleep at the wheel accident. That way you leave your friends and family a little going away/burial money. I think about suicide every day.... well, maybe every other day. I'm kinda forgetful. __________________ "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

12-17-2006, 07:07 PM	#3
SoFla Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 1,322	Indeed, there is a difference. I think about suicide, yet I don't consider myself suicidal. Should the day come when I face a slow, painful, miserable death, I'll take my own life. I have a closet full of pills. I'm not afraid of death. It's our destiny, from the time we are born. To me, being suicidal means feeling in the depths of despair. That's not me.

12-17-2006, 11:55 PM	#5
justadildo Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: rocky mountain high Posts: 1,395	....what so-fla said....

12-19-2006, 11:18 AM	#8
zillazangel Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: North Carolina, USA Posts: 3,309	suicidal thoughts .... just running it around in your head suicidal ideation ... you have a definite plan That's how I think about it anyway, from someone who has BTDT __________________ Wife (8 years) to Chad (C4/5 since 1988), Mom to a Medium Boy, Owner of a Standard Poodle and a Pit Bull Blog: http://ItWasntFunnyAtTheTime.blogspot.com

02-08-2007, 12:54 PM	#9
addiesue Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: TN Posts: 4,463	the suicidal thoughts don't bother me but what about homicidal............ joking __________________ If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

02-08-2007, 01:11 PM	#10
adi chicago Banned Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: near dracula castle Posts: 9,508	i think only about angels.here is a nice one.lol Attached Images __________________ Dum spiro, spero. Translation: "As long as I breathe, I hope."

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