my little stories on annoying things in life

[cali]

ok buddies, time for some dramatic stories




you ever have a day where you drop everything? everything goes wrong. i mean everything. you breathe in...and you choke on your spit.

how ridiculous is that!?



spit!



you've dealt with it all your life, all that came from your mouth as a baby was drool (most of the time). and now suddenly, it becomes a very annoying (but not exactly potential) life threat! ok, i'm exaggerating...but like i said, it is very annoying.

oh, oh, then! after that, you take a drink and choke on that for a while!

then, you go to take a pill, and it almost nestles itself in the most uncomfortable place on the planet...your sinuses.

lovely.

and it's no gel caplet, it's one of those ugly chalky pills the size of a pen cap with the rough edges that can cut paper.

yeah, it's that damn bad



thank you very much.

and...yes there's more.

there's always more.




always.




no matter how much lotion you put on your hands, they're still dry. they still turn white and dry and flaky even though you just put lotion on five minutes ago for the third time.


and yet, you still drop everything.


what about hairspray!?

yes, i have a problem with hairspray too.

my hairspray was awesome till i get down to the last third in the can. then it's hell. it's like it's trying to make me as flammable as possible, hoping i go past a candle or a hot light bulb or something.

hell, i think it's really hoping for a smoker to light one up near me. hey, that's cool, kill two birds with one stone. get me and the smoker. he should know better, and, well...i just pissed that can of hairspray off one too many times i guess.

but wait!

my hairspray isn't done laughing just yet!

now it comes out so sticky that my hand sticks to the damn can like it's super glue. nearly tears my damn skin off, how crazy is that?

as crazy as crazy glue, that's how crazy.

then, i go to fix up my hair and my hands are struggling to get back out, pissing me off even more, all the while i hear that can laughing...sneering at me with that smug orange metal container it has just gleaming under my bathroom lights.


yup, keep laughin, laaaaugh it right up, i got plans for your ass.



good news is, it only costs about 4 bucks for a new can of hairspray.


and i have 4 bucks.

i have that 4 bucks and it makes me so happy.


who would have thought 4 bucks could make someone's day? well, i'm gonna let you all in on a secret. i grew up in the woods with no cable. just bunny ears and a nintendo system that i wasn't able to play much of because my brother is 6 years older than me and could kick my ass if i got near it.

but wait! there's still more!


as soon as i'm about to sleep, my arm twitches and i crack myself in the face.

o yea.

niiicccce.

then i can't sleep because of that and my ass is freezing because my covers are all mushed up on one side so i can't cover up enough.

*shakes fist*

so i yank on the covers. they don't budge.

well, they aren't laughing, they're grumbling and groaning. they are like a cat trying their damnedest not to get in the tub.

clawing, scratching, biting, clinging for dear life to the corner of my bed.

i hate them so....and i tell them that. but it didn't help any.

then, with one desperate yet heroic yank, they fly free and i feel like i'm going to have to chase my heart around the room like a renegade frog. bad mood plus cold plus pissed off plus nasty covers plus a total bitch fit equals a worn out exhausted overly emotional callan who's heart just may explode.

yeah, that's basically why last week sucked. every few months, things beyond my physical control makes me turn horribly emotional. usually i have no problems. but sometimes...sometimes it makes my life an emotional unecessarily stressful hell. yeah, sure, these things still piss me off any other day, but usually i don't want to take a flame thrower to them.

i hope this was as much fun to read as it was writing it. of course for anyone who really knows me, this was for entertainment purposes.

[2jazzyjeff]

Dear gawd you're bored!!! Take up a hobby girlie..

[CurlieQCarrie]

Hehe. I love your flow of thoughts Cal. And I totally understand the lotion thing. It looks like I've been playing in flour.

[Juke_spin]

You kept me smiling, girl. It has been pointed out, however, that I'm easily entertained.

[dan_nc]

u should publish a book of these, cali.,

[Myc0]

Well I don't really know you, but I was entertained. I guess me and the Jukester are easy.

[KiranA]

It kinda read like a stand up routine [pardon the pun]

Btw, Myco, your avatar is trippy, mang....I could stare at it for hours.

[Curt Leatherbee]

Wow, I think your going to be the next Ellen Degeneres

[Myc0]

Originally Posted by KiranA

Btw, Myco, your avatar is trippy, mang....I could stare at it for hours.

Thanks, I dig it. It's a screen capture from Alex Grey's Interbeing flash animation that I photoshopped. Check it out, you could definately stare at the color-changing animation for hours, I wish I could use the flash version as a desktop. It's on Alex Grey's site, in the multimedia section. Enjoy.

[darkeyed_daisy]

Callan you are so funny...I see a future in journalism or television for you...LOL We all have those weeks and it sucks!!! Hope this week is better...dont walk too close to any flamable sources...LOL