Viewing the dead body of someone you love.

[Shannon]

Provided there is no trauma to your head, do you want your loved ones to see you when you're dead?

[cali]

no i don't, because that's the last time they see me...well, till they die too. i want them to remember how i looked and was when i was happy and well...alive. i don't want my dead body to be the last thing and time they see me

[Cspine]

viewing of the body provides a sense of closure. ever hear someone say 'i can't believe he/she is gone'? seing it helps it become real enough to deal with.

[betheny]

No. I don't want some undertaker making me look like Tammy Faye Bakker LOL. I know what they mean by closure, but the emotional shock with the body on display at the service is too much for me. The last 3 funerals i went to were "memorial services"...pictures and an urn. It was enough closure to me. The one I went to prior to those was closed casket, then they opened it at the end of the service and Uncle Bob was laying there. Gawdamighty it was horrible.

[Shannon]

That's what I thought too Cali. A few years ago when my grandma died, I was horrified to find out that she wanted an open casket. At the viewing, I showed up because I felt like I had to, but I wasn't going to look at her. Of course I did, and when I did, I was really drawn to her. I had to go over to her and I have to say that I am soooo glad I saw her. She looked so peaceful. She almost looked like she was smiling.

I was reminded of this last night because the elderly man next door died. His wife died 2 years ago and he lived there by himself since her death. His son dropped by last night to check up on him, and he found him dead, holding a picture of his wife in his hands. He came over and told me and I was curious to see who would come get the body. I watched out my window and a white unmarked van pulled in the driveway, two young guys in suits got out and got a stetcher out of the back. About 20 minutes later they came out of the house with him. I was totally expecting him to be in a white body bag, or at least to be completely covered with a white sheet. Instead, he had a beautiful quilt draped over his body, and his head was exposed. I was shocked at first, especially since my daughter was watching too. The weird thing is, seeing him was so comforting. And just like my grandma, he looked so peaceful and he too almost looked like he was smiling.

I've always thought that once I'm dead, I don't want any of my loved ones seeing me. As of last night, I've changed my mind.

I think our culture is too freaked out by death. I have no idea what my parents and sister want when they die. I've told my family that I want to be cremated, but other than that they don't know what I want.

[RehabRhino]

Prob not. I've seen the body of someone I knew and it haunts me. It's up to them. My friends who were with me the night of my accident thought I was dead for about 10 mins - they said I looked awful. If I had died I wouldn't necessarily want parents/wife to remember my bloated/drowned body - closure or not

[AO]

I've decided being immortal solves many problems, so I dont have to worry about stuff like this

[cali]

lmao!

[rdf]

I missed gettin' up to see my dad before he died by a few hours. The next day I went to the crematorium, and spent about half an hour with him (before he was burned, of course ).

Dead or not, he was my dad, and we had a good, loving talk that helped me reach some kind of closure, and I could tell him how I felt about everything, how I loved him, and would miss him. It helped me a lot, and I don't regret it at all. I held his hand the whole time, and kissed his cheek.

Were I to die, I would wish my remaining family could do the same thing, and I know they would, because for some people it does help. This may sound weird to some, but in my family, I believe we all feel the same about this.

Everyone's different, and we do whatever we think we need to to get through the hard times of losing our immediate family members...it doesn't get easier each time, but you're prepared at least.

[carbar]

Answer is no.
When no one else wanted to, I accompanied my grandmother into a room at the undertakers where my grandfather lay. That was my one and only time seeing a loved one dead. But he was strangely yellow and waxy and sunken looking. I barely recognized him. Grandma seemed to gain some consolation from it though - she thought he looked peaceful.