fairly new to injury and site

[htran]

Hi everyone, just started to this site. My name is Lan, injured in a hit and run car accident on 9 04/2004. Broke T12/L1 current in a chair, don't know if I will ever walk again. Doc said I have a 5% chance, he caN kiss my ass. I have two girls been married for 12 years. I've been so depress and don't know how to go on. I never new just an injury existed and knew nothing about spinal cord. My whole future just went down and slowly i'm declining in health. I was so active before, now I just sit around while my husband do everything. Sometimes I feel so sorry for my family for what they go through that i just want to die.. I feel that life has no meaning no more.. But yet I get up every morning to see my kids and make that money to put food on the table. I should feel fortunate because I have a low level injury, and I am still very independent. Fortunate that my kids still have her mom around. I just need to let that out for I don't know anyone that are in a wheel chair. I live in fairfield california. Anyone in Cali? I was also told that with a low level injury, fes won't work on me...Any clue anyone?

THANKS FOR LISTENING............

[Wise Young]

Dear Lan,

Welcome to carecure. There are nearly 11,000 people with spinal cord injury, family members, or friends on this site. Many have gone through what you are going through. They will be glad to advise you.

To answer you conerning FES and low injuries, I need to know more about your injury. What is the vertebral level of injury (e.g. T10, L1, etc)? Where does your sensation stops (hip, knees)? What you can move below the belly button? Can you feel your bladder and when you have bowel movements?

Wise.

[htran]

Wise,
I been reading about you on the forum, thankx for answering my question. Dislocated @T12/L1 burst fracture @ L1. Sensation on left leg down to knee level. Nothing on right leg, some buttocks sensation, able to predict when to pee and BM. Able to urinate on my own and BM without medication or digital stim. Have nerve endings on both feet constantly a week after the accident till now. Feel numbness around private area. When I was admitted to the hospital I have normal sensation under the belly button, have both stomach muscle and back muscle. Regain hip motion a week after accident. Just recently I went up to Santa Clara Valley Medical Hospital to try a RT300-s bike, and the Dr. said that I wouldn't qualify for it, cause of low level neuron. I insisted on trying , so they will schedule an appointment for me to try out.. I get so discourage and feel that this is god's way of telling me I'm not going to walk again.. I ,ve also check out Michigan rehab for sci, thinking about going there for rehab.. Any ideas..thanks

[2jazzyjeff]

hey Lan, you have soooo much to be thankful for. as you have mentioned, your husband, your kids, and the fact that you are still alive. i am c5,6, complete, just over 3 years. i consider myself fortunate not to be 6 feet under. in my experiences, when i was in the hospital, most ppl. that suffered a SCI, there husband/wife/girlfriend left them. i know this first-hand because my g/f left me.

as for your low level injury, you should feel fortunate.... i have friends that are high level quads and i guess for lack of a better analogy, i see them and realize that i could be that high. i honestly think that this keeps me positive and focused because i can do more than they can. i see how positive that they are and this truly inspires me to stay focused and being positive. i guess not knowing anyone in a chair could be a deciding factor in how you can feel sometimes.

in all honesty, if you were to visit a rehab center with all levels of SCI, it may make you appreciate your level (granted.. any level of SCI does suck) even more, which in turn would make you appreciate life more and realize that life doesn't totally suck because you are in a chair. it sounds like you have a job (awesome), and you have your family, this should help take your mind away from alot of negativity.... you have found a ton of friends here... hope this helps and welcome..... jeff

[queen]

Htran,,,,like Jeffy, welcome you to CC...feel free to ask questions in the forums...(we can all relate)...I'm a burst L#1 with sci (5/20-04) fell off a
ladder with my chainsaw. So, we all had our different ways of getting here, and it's the same for each of us...no two are alike even if they are the same level. We have all gone thru so much and there are just times
when you need that someone who really understands.

We here to listen, help, share our own personal experiences, anything we can do to care, support and uplift you in anyway!

Queen

[graybeard]

Hi Lan, glad you have found us.One thing that still works even after our injuries are our ears. We listen very well. Anything you need talk about,or tell us,please do. Jeff and Queen are really great people,and are 2 of thousands of people here that can listen and offer advise or encouragement. Do not give in to SCI. You must fight everyday and celebrate each victory you get. Best of luck,John

[Jadis]

Hi Lan!!! I am a T12 incomplete from an MVA - sorta. Long story.

anywho, it took me about 3 years to pull myself up by my bootstraps (figuratively of course) and be able to move on with my life. I was single with a 4 yr old at the time of my accident and am now married (5 yrs) to wonderful guy. I still have a hard time letting him do things and get very frustrated because I can't do what I used to be able to. I was VERY independent.

I am still in the process of learning what I can do. I also find my injury gives me the strength to do things I never thought I would have done prior. For example, I am in college now doing medical programs -- coding, med assistant, and transcription. I was told the following things by my advisor:

you can't be a medical assistant in a wheelchair.
when we have our accredidation meeting on the 9th you need to try and walk, so use your canes or your walker if you can.
We can't let the accred board think we are slacking by letting disabled people in our program.
(every time she sees me) What's your prognosis now? when you getting outta that chair?

Well, the truth is, I may never get out fo the chair. I have goals, but that doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned that if I don't meet my goal, it's not the end of the world. I tend to aim high even if I get disappointed.

Well, as far as the advisor, I was so discouraged -- to the point that I was ready to drop it. I am so close to graduating. I have my externship and that's it. Well, I got mad and took action.

After talking to the disabilites advocate and a few other people, my advisor is singing a different tune. Not only will I be able to stay in the program, but my externship participation is not based on whether or not I can walk.

I wouldn't have had the nerve to take this to the school board prior to my injury.

You are still early in your injury, you will still be going though a lot of changes physically, emotionally and mentally. One of the things is mourning. I mourned for the loss of function, then I focused on what I could to. Granted, it wasn't an overnight thing -- and it took a year or so worth of Prozac. It's also still a daily process.

Educate yourself and make yourself your own advocate. Don't assume that your doctor knows what's involved with SCI. My doc works with back injuries and does surgeries on spines, yet when it comes to my care, he's not completely clued in.

This is the right board to be on - there are a lot of smart people here. We have Wise, who as already responded, and 5 SCI nurses. In addition to that, there are plenty of SCI people here. T12 is the most common. There is a 12+ page thread here discussing T12 injuries. Very helpful thread, do a search on it.

((BIG HUGS))

we're here for ya, you need anything or want to talk, pm me.

jadis
T12inc

[htran]

Thanks for all the wonderful comments, asked myself if I could function in a chair for the rest of my life, and the answer is no. Although I am fairly new, and time can only tell. I will never give up and fight till the end.. Thanks again. Still waiting to hear from you Dr. Wise about low level motor...

[SCI-Nurse]

Look at Dr. Young's questions above. Once we have more information about your injury, we may be able to advise. In general though, if you have a flaccid paralysis (lower motor neuron paralysis) FES is generally not safe as it requires so much electricity that you risk burning tissues.

(KLD)

[htran]

I don't know what else I can provide. Basicly What I'm trying to accomplish is the ability to get return function( don't we all) by trying different avenues.