A woman should have ...

marco25 · 08-30-2004, 06:09 AM

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a youth she's content to leave behind.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

one friend who always makes her laugh ... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her gests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

when to try harder ... and when to walk away...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

how to live alone ... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table.
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

~ Sign says: "Stay away fools, cuz love rules at the Love Shack" ~ B-52s

november · 08-30-2004, 11:16 PM

Martha, my older sister sent me this email back when I was a junior or senior in high school. It's been a few years but through all the drama and moving I've done I still have it. It's a pretty mangled printed out version but I got it!

Thanx for sharing.
Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--Mary Kay Ash

marco25 · 08-31-2004, 04:00 PM

Sure, Nov. Thought it was worthy advice.

~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

NoDecafPlz · 08-31-2004, 04:18 PM

Holy shit!

ROFLMAO!

J.

chick · 08-31-2004, 04:42 PM

The ONLY MUST HAVE is having enough money for self-sufficiency and independence.

All other SHOULD's will find a woman on Prozac and her independence being spent on a weekly couch, with her self-sufficiency signed away in every check to someone who reassures her that her anxieties and insecurities are a product of all those SHOULD's ... and any feelings of failure is her mother's fault.

marco25 · 08-31-2004, 04:46 PM

I forgot ... "should" is a forbidden word in the world of counseling.

Please forgive me for posting the evil email.

~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

Chris Chappell · 09-01-2004, 06:22 AM

chick - agreed.

marco25 · 09-01-2004, 06:55 AM

Let me explain about the use of the word "should". In the opinion of many therapists and counselors, "should" is a shame word. It's definitely one that's a part of my own mental and oral vocabulary.

Chris, you once referred to therapists as "the rapists" ... and unfortunately many of their approaches to "fixing" our lives feel that way.

I don't think "shame" was at all the intent of the author here. And I felt no shame reading any of it--and that says a lot coming from me!

Chick, I agree that if any woman applied many of these to herself to a certain degree, she would end up exactly where you said she would be.

~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

Jeff · 09-01-2004, 10:58 AM

It's almost laughable that people can't read this the way it's intended. All these things listed are great-to-have's for any woman. The word "should" isn't the point. Every woman will prioritize the items differently. No woman will read this as gospel. Some items will be must-haves while others will be optional. Still it's a great list for women to think about and use... and for others to nitpick the wording.

~See you at the SCIWire-used-to-be-paralyzed Reunion

~

marco25 · 09-01-2004, 11:24 AM

I know this is an sci forum, but I thought this would apply to all of us. Please don't ever let your sci define your life or identity.

Also, forgive me in advance for any offensive language. None was detected or intended when I posted this.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed
that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions --- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else --- the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes of golf or whatever else you enjoy doing. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee...

~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

08-30-2004, 06:09 AM	#1
marco25 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 2,912	A woman should have ... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a youth she's content to leave behind. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE one friend who always makes her laugh ... and one who lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her gests feel honored. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a feeling of control over her destiny... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW how to fall in love without losing herself... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW when to try harder ... and when to walk away... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW how to live alone ... even if she doesn't like it... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table. or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year... ~ Sign says: "Stay away fools, cuz love rules at the Love Shack" ~ B-52s

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08-30-2004, 11:16 PM	#2
november Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 4,223	Martha, my older sister sent me this email back when I was a junior or senior in high school. It's been a few years but through all the drama and moving I've done I still have it. It's a pretty mangled printed out version but I got it! Thanx for sharing. Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--Mary Kay Ash

08-31-2004, 04:00 PM	#3
marco25 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 2,912	Sure, Nov. Thought it was worthy advice. ~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

08-31-2004, 04:18 PM	#4
NoDecafPlz Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 9,850	Holy shit! ROFLMAO! J.

08-31-2004, 04:42 PM	#5
chick Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 6,688	The ONLY MUST HAVE is having enough money for self-sufficiency and independence. All other SHOULD's will find a woman on Prozac and her independence being spent on a weekly couch, with her self-sufficiency signed away in every check to someone who reassures her that her anxieties and insecurities are a product of all those SHOULD's ... and any feelings of failure is her mother's fault.

08-31-2004, 04:46 PM	#6
marco25 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 2,912	I forgot ... "should" is a forbidden word in the world of counseling. Please forgive me for posting the evil email. ~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

09-01-2004, 06:22 AM	#7
Chris Chappell Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 7,035	chick - agreed.

09-01-2004, 06:55 AM	#8
marco25 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 2,912	Let me explain about the use of the word "should". In the opinion of many therapists and counselors, "should" is a shame word. It's definitely one that's a part of my own mental and oral vocabulary. Chris, you once referred to therapists as "the rapists" ... and unfortunately many of their approaches to "fixing" our lives feel that way. I don't think "shame" was at all the intent of the author here. And I felt no shame reading any of it--and that says a lot coming from me! Chick, I agree that if any woman applied many of these to herself to a certain degree, she would end up exactly where you said she would be. ~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell

09-01-2004, 10:58 AM	#9
Jeff Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: North Brunswick, NJ, USA Posts: 6,858	It's almost laughable that people can't read this the way it's intended. All these things listed are great-to-have's for any woman. The word "should" isn't the point. Every woman will prioritize the items differently. No woman will read this as gospel. Some items will be must-haves while others will be optional. Still it's a great list for women to think about and use... and for others to nitpick the wording. ~See you at the SCIWire-used-to-be-paralyzed Reunion ~

09-01-2004, 11:24 AM	#10
marco25 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 2,912	I know this is an sci forum, but I thought this would apply to all of us. Please don't ever let your sci define your life or identity. Also, forgive me in advance for any offensive language. None was detected or intended when I posted this. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions --- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else --- the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes of golf or whatever else you enjoy doing. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend." When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee... ~ The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ John Powell