Three keys for living at home as long as possible

[antiquity]

Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 12:00 a.m. Pacific

Growing Older / Liz Taylor
Three keys for living at home as long as possible

Raise your hand: Who wants to live at home as long as possible as you get older? Though that's the desire of the overwhelming majority, most of us don't have a clue how to do it.

There are three essential ingredients, and one will probably surprise you:

The first is having access to assistance � someone to help with the chores you can't do anymore, like fixing meals, emptying the garbage, or getting to the store. Becoming less able often happens gradually. Or it may � whew � strike overnight. A stroke, a broken hip or a heart attack can render us incapable of living at home without a lot of people � paid professionals or unpaid family members � pitching in to help us get by.

The second ingredient � and this is the surprise � is ensuring human interaction. As much as we yearn to live out our days at home, the fact is, there is no lonelier, more isolating or more boring place on earth than the four walls of our beloved house when we can't get out anymore.

I've seen lifelong loners melt into puddles of depression when they can't break out of their rut and talk to someone occasionally � even the clerk at the store.

The need for human interaction is a powerful force that must be included in any home-care plan.

The third ingredient is making sure our house accommodates our needs. Even in our rapidly aging nation, it is distressing to see how many new homes � and certainly older ones � are highly disability "unfriendly." Stairs, knobs at the back of the stove, high cupboards, slippery tubs, and doorknobs that are hard to turn. These details seem inconsequential when you're healthy but become barriers when you're not.

I'm delighted to introduce a book, "Home Sweet Home," ($12.95 in paperback and available through your local bookstore) to help you deal with the third ingredient. Its subtitle spells out its mission: "How to Help Older Adults Live Independently." Written by two veteran gerontologists, Dennis R. La Buda and Vicki Schmall, the book lays out in easy-to-read language how to "de-barrier" and re-invent most living situations to allow people to live at home longer, happier and more safely.

It begins at the beginning: deciding what to do. Include the older person in the discussions, the authors say, lest the plans backfire. "People generally are more willing to try an assistive device or a service � or adapt to unwanted change � when they've been involved in discussions about it."

It warns adult children to avoid unrealistic promises ("I'll never put you in a care facility, Mom") and the "shoulds" ("A good son should invite his mom to live with him"). It suggests a six-step model for decision-making. It counsels families to take more control if the situation involves a loved one with memory impairment.

Then it gets to the nitty-gritty. The "Taking Care of the Basics" chapter focuses on critical self-care topics: how to help someone bathe, go to the bathroom, do personal hygiene and dress more easily � the "pedal hits the metal" tasks that can make or break living at home.

Bathrooms are the "skating rinks" of our homes, the book aptly calls them, with slippery surfaces everywhere, waiting to make us fall. Tubs and toilets are hard for many people to get into or off of, doorknobs and water faucets difficult for arthritic hands. The book recommends simple, inexpensive gadgets for all these barriers, with illustrations that allow you to know what you're shopping for.

Preparing food is next in line. "The more tasks that can be accomplished in the kitchen sitting down, the better," the authors recommend. "Using a chair reduces fatigue as well as stress on the legs and feet." Other kitchen aids include gadgets that help you reach for things, slice and dice more safely, open cans, keep food from slipping off a plate, even cook and clean one-handed.

The book describes items you probably didn't know exist � a weighted pen for people with hand tremors, a floor mop for the foot that eliminates kneeling, a light switch that works by clapping your hands � plus the more ordinary, such as pill dispensers, reading helpers and home elevators. One of the book's best features is the last chapter that provides a compendium of resources, including disability professionals, specialty catalogs, Web sites, books and videos that can help families make wise decisions to modify a home for safer living.

Liz Taylor, a specialist on aging and long-term care, counsels individuals and teaches workshops on how to plan for one's aging � and aging parents. You can e-mail her with questions at growingolder@seattletimes.com or write to Liz Taylor, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111.

Copyright � 2002 The Seattle Times Company

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