"You're a beautiful person."

[Curt Leatherbee]

Originally Posted by chick

Definitely. This does happen often here, maybe due to frustration and being tired of being the butt of ignorance, and being too often seen and treated as "other". Since there's usually no way to respond to that directly (other than perhaps bewilderment, surprise, weariness, anger or just laughing it off, or whatever immediate reaction you might have in the moment) or address it in a practical way, as it often occurs as a brief passing moment*, I think people on CC have taken to responding in kind by making them (the AB) the other, (the acronym 'AB' is used almost as if to refer to some other human or alien species or something). It's like, 'they've relegated us to a separate (lesser) group, now let's relegate them, and diminish and laugh at them for a change!'.




*although there are times where such instances can be made a learning moment, and be a positive experience, for ALL involved.

I think this has been a really good thread because it's something we all should really think about in how we deal on a daily basis with these sort of situations, unfortunately they are all too common.

What Scorp said originally did make a lot of sense you don't want to prejudge the person right away as they may have innocent intentions or have meant no harm and unknowing said something that came out the wrong way.

I really think a sense of humor in these sort of situations can go a long way. If Eileen had said something like "Aren't I beautiful too" That would have gone a long way. I know though it's not always easy to think so quick when your caught off guard with what someone says.

[Curt Leatherbee]

Originally Posted by crypticgimp

this has happened to me several times at concerts. one woman decided to run her hands down my legs and slur "you are soooooooooo beautiful" to which i responded "get your hands off of me"

Geeze, now I'm having another lesbian fantasy again.

[Sue Pendleton]

Originally Posted by lynnifer

I went into my bank more than a month ago and this woman followed me and watched me struggle up a curb cut from the street (purse almost fell off lap so I grabbed for it and then didn't have my running start .. lol). Then she said, "My gawd you are brave," as I opened the bank door for her. Total exertion: pushed the automated button and held back for her to go first, then proceeded when she didn't.

This one I almost get, Lynnifer. I mean how many of us have had someone say something stupid about taking it easy by using a powerchair or having a friend or family member push the manual when needed? To those folks they never think about the thrills of bad curb cuts, gravel parking lots or the, horrendous, double doors without an auto-push.

But I get the "you're so brave" with a pat on my shoulder from complete strangers on cruise ships. This happens most often when I am on a back deck with my nose in a good book and a Corona in my hand or just parked near an exit waiting for the hubby who went back to the cabin for something he forgot so we can head off ship and into the city. I have an overly developed startle reflex and have been known to start a good 'WTF' before realizing the pat is from a woman who has 2 or 3 decades on me. I'm rather tired of the adrenalin rush of my reflexes messing with my peaceful vacation. Since these sweet old ladies are putting me in that kind of state am I allowed to backhand them? How about reading them the riot act about touching strangers in no need of assistance that is in that long list of manners my Grandmothers taught me? And no, it has never happened while wearing my FBI T-shirt by the pool. That was an experiment for a friend on whether his shirt would get me free drinks from other passengers. It didn't.

I totally get the tone of Eileen's "beautiful" lady. My husband gets livid when he's around and people discuss a young spouse staying with a now very disabled husband/wife. "Like they weren't listening about the good and bad when they attended those kids' weddding?" After 20 years he's most likely heard a few well meaning, no longer, friends suggest the same thing way back.

I admit I have my good days and my bad; but, it has been awhile since I've had a dumb shit day. Goddess please don't let me live long enough to be that stupid.

[crypticgimp]

Originally Posted by Curt Leatherbee

Geeze, now I'm having another lesbian fantasy again.

keep me out of it. ty.

[McDuff]

Originally Posted by Curt Leatherbee

I know, I was starting to get all excited thinking in my mind that Eileens friend was really hot and the woman who said your beautiful was hot too and then them moving closer together, kissing and then doing it on the hood of the car, haha.

Here's Curt in action;

[LindaT]

McDuff-That is too funny!

[Sue Pendleton]

LOL McDuff, that is so Criminal Minds!

[jody]

holy cow.

[Curt Leatherbee]

Hey what can I say, I just started getting naturally occurring boners again post op 2 years, lol. I guess nerves really do take a long time to re-grow, who'd have thunk it?

[Sue Pendleton]

Lol! Tmi