Newbie visitation

TomRL · 10-21-2011, 11:45 AM

A friend of mine has asked me to visit a 16 year old SCI who is 60 days post injury and still hospitalized. Any suggestions on what to say, what not to say or just shut up and listen would be helpful.

willingtocope · 10-21-2011, 12:03 PM

I'd ask questions. What's s/he want to know about what is in hers/his future...why does s/he think this happened...

el_centro_prof · 10-21-2011, 12:08 PM

Get as much info as you can before you go in. Find out if he (or she) is asking to speak to someone or is it the parents. Back when I was a Rec Therapist, I would go in for the first time with "Kid Gloves" on... Also be a real person... What I mean is don't go in trying to convince them that it is great to be in a wheelchair... This new, most still think they are going to walk out of the place. Anxiety is usually very high so try to have them focus on one day at a time. Talk, listen and let them ask the questions. Too much information can sometimes be a bad thing.

Main thing is just be yourself... If they "freak out" on you, just remember, It's not you, it's just a situation that they don't want to be in.

Most situations like this go fine but if not, you will know within the first few minutes.
Hope this helps... Good luck...

addiesue · 10-21-2011, 12:11 PM

Dont ask why they think it happened...
Don't say I know how you feel, even if you probably do, most people don't think anyone can. Just listen and you will get a feel for the person. Make sure they know they can drive again. I think that would be important at 16.
Good luck and thanks for doing that for them.

jody · 10-21-2011, 12:15 PM

good luck, and thank you for going to see him.

SCI-Nurse · 10-21-2011, 12:17 PM

First, be sure that the injured person actually wants to see you. This should not be forced on him or done by surprise. He may not be ready. Since he is a minor, I would also want to know that his parents are in agreement with you visiting.

(KLD)

willingtocope · 10-21-2011, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willingtocope

I'd ask questions. What's s/he want to know about what is in hers/his future...why does s/he think this happened...

Sorry. Didn't mean to imply you should just come right out and ask. What I should have said is...ask questions to see if you can find out what he wants to know...what's in his head about what's happened...what he expects to happen from here. Get a feel for where he needs support and where he needs guidance and when he just needs someone to rant and rave against what's happened to him.

By all means, first make sure he wants to talk...make sure his parents are prepared to hear what he has to say.

SCIfor55yrs. · 10-21-2011, 02:37 PM

I would get info about the extent of his injury and prognosis before I visited so I had a better picture of his situation. As others have said, I would get parental permission. Be aware that he may not be ready to confront the "permanently paralyzed" issue.

TomRL · 10-21-2011, 03:33 PM

Excellent suggestions; especially the parental permission.

Bonnette · 10-21-2011, 04:21 PM

I think it would be a good idea to secure parental permission first (as KLD suggested), and then offer - through your friend - to make yourself available to the injured person whenever he/she feels ready to speak about what has happened. Approached in that way, your counsel and example would be appreciated to the fullest extent.

10-21-2011, 11:45 AM	#1
TomRL Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: NE Ohio Posts: 754	Newbie visitation A friend of mine has asked me to visit a 16 year old SCI who is 60 days post injury and still hospitalized. Any suggestions on what to say, what not to say or just shut up and listen would be helpful. __________________ Tom "Blessed are the pessimists, for they hath made backups." Exasperated 20:12

10-21-2011, 12:11 PM	#4
addiesue Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: TN Posts: 4,463	Dont ask why they think it happened... Don't say I know how you feel, even if you probably do, most people don't think anyone can. Just listen and you will get a feel for the person. Make sure they know they can drive again. I think that would be important at 16. Good luck and thanks for doing that for them. __________________ If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

10-21-2011, 02:37 PM	#8
SCIfor55yrs. Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Columbia, SC Posts: 5,222	I would get info about the extent of his injury and prognosis before I visited so I had a better picture of his situation. As others have said, I would get parental permission. Be aware that he may not be ready to confront the "permanently paralyzed" issue. __________________ "S.O.S. = Save our Shoulders" (click link) See me at: http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

10-21-2011, 03:33 PM	#9
TomRL Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: NE Ohio Posts: 754	Excellent suggestions; especially the parental permission. __________________ Tom "Blessed are the pessimists, for they hath made backups." Exasperated 20:12

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

10-21-2011, 12:03 PM	#2
willingtocope Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Pleasant Hill Iowa Posts: 678	I'd ask questions. What's s/he want to know about what is in hers/his future...why does s/he think this happened...

10-21-2011, 12:08 PM	#3
el_centro_prof Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Sachse, TX Posts: 27	Get as much info as you can before you go in. Find out if he (or she) is asking to speak to someone or is it the parents. Back when I was a Rec Therapist, I would go in for the first time with "Kid Gloves" on... Also be a real person... What I mean is don't go in trying to convince them that it is great to be in a wheelchair... This new, most still think they are going to walk out of the place. Anxiety is usually very high so try to have them focus on one day at a time. Talk, listen and let them ask the questions. Too much information can sometimes be a bad thing. Main thing is just be yourself... If they "freak out" on you, just remember, It's not you, it's just a situation that they don't want to be in. Most situations like this go fine but if not, you will know within the first few minutes. Hope this helps... Good luck...

10-21-2011, 12:15 PM	#5
jody Moderator Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: east o the southern warren Posts: 7,791	good luck, and thank you for going to see him.

10-21-2011, 12:17 PM	#6
SCI-Nurse Moderator Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: USA Posts: 41,301	First, be sure that the injured person actually wants to see you. This should not be forced on him or done by surprise. He may not be ready. Since he is a minor, I would also want to know that his parents are in agreement with you visiting. (KLD)

10-21-2011, 04:21 PM	#10
Bonnette Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 2,600	I think it would be a good idea to secure parental permission first (as KLD suggested), and then offer - through your friend - to make yourself available to the injured person whenever he/she feels ready to speak about what has happened. Approached in that way, your counsel and example would be appreciated to the fullest extent.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
INTERSTATE VISITATION	Cspine	Family	2	01-13-2005 02:04 PM
any quads out there have unsupervised visitation with their children?	Skeeter	Family	2	11-01-2004 07:16 AM
any quads have unsupervisded visitation with their children??	Skeeter	Life	9	10-30-2004 10:08 AM
Visitation for SCI dad	betheny	Life	6	05-31-2004 06:24 PM
Visitation for sci dad	betheny	Family	0	05-23-2004 10:19 AM