A friend called me a loser today

[suoz]

Yes, I married the wrong man. I divorced and ended up in a wheelchair. Lost job. Don't have money. A loser? Maybe I am. My last confidence is gone.

[lynnifer]

Only you can define yourself.

I'm sure you're not a loser ... the friend who told you that is a loser ... and obviously needs to feel better about their own selves to condemn someone else.

I would 'write them off' and never speak to them again.

[Edinburgh Colin]

Don't put your self down. You still had the strength and self esteem to post your feelings on here.

People who call others loosers are invariably self conscious about their own failings, in other words it's them that is the looser not you.

Chin up and keep smiling, after all you are still here!

[suoz]

Thanks! Not able to work and do stuff, sitting in front of computer does real damage to one's self esteem.

[lynnifer]

Read my Dalai Lama quote in my signature ... so true.

[cwa67]

Don't feel bad at least you got divorced before accident.After 10 years of marriage i ended up in chair then divorced after 1 month.

[Eileen]

Anyone who would say such a thing really isn't much of a friend. It is unfortunate that there are some people in the universe whose only way of feeling better about themselves is to put other people down, and it sounds like you "friend" might be one of them. Almost half of all marriges end in divorce, so that makes half the planet losers according to your friend. Winding up in a wheelchair? Well, that makes almost everyone here a loser, which we certainly are not. Money never defines the worth of a person, although some wealthy folks thinks it makes them superior. It does not, it only makes them wealthier, and says nothing at all about their character, ethics, or decency. Please don't let her rattle you. If you know that you would never say anything so unkind to another person you are already way ahead of her, and maybe the loser title needs to go back to the person who used it in the first place.

[herrlich]

That is not a friend.
That is someone who is frustrated . Called you that to have the sensation he or she was better than you. But it´s not. And it does not matter if it is a sucessful person.
The only thing that matters is that is someone so low that was trying (and it seems like made it) to hit and take down someone who is unemployed, divorced and hadicapped, because deep down that person knows you can still be better than him/her.
So try to see it that way and ignore them. No matter if they call me crippled or handicapped. It only makes public that they admit i am better.

[Snuz]

Originally Posted by Eileen

Anyone who would say such a thing really isn't much of a friend. It is unfortunate that there are some people in the universe whose only way of feeling better about themselves is to put other people down, and it sounds like you "friend" might be one of them. Almost half of all marriges end in divorce, so that makes half the planet losers according to your friend. Winding up in a wheelchair? Well, that makes almost everyone here a loser, which we certainly are not. Money never defines the worth of a person, although some wealthy folks thinks it makes them superior. It does not, it only makes them wealthier, and says nothing at all about their character, ethics, or decency. Please don't let her rattle you. If you know that you would never say anything so unkind to another person you are already way ahead of her, and maybe the loser title needs to go back to the person who used it in the first place.

I totally agree!!!

[MarkB701]

A true friend is a person who can help us.

Help can often be made through critisim, no matter how harsh. If we need to receive an intervention, it needs to come from our friends. The aim of the tough love is to help us.



In your case? I don't know the details of what the friend was trying to do.....but the label of "loser" is hardly contructive critism. Judging from your post, you do not appear to be a person who has just received help.