Melanie Reid of The Times (UK)

[Patton57]

Originally Posted by SCIfor55yrs.

Where my guilt used to come into play is when I began to have a successful, rewarding career and saw others just as capable fall by the wayside because they did not have people supporting them as I did.

Hi 55,
What line of work were you in?

[crypticgimp]

Originally Posted by SCIfor55yrs.

This is an interesting discussion and this post caught my eye. Having been in the rehab world all my professional life, I have never found a contemporary rehab program that I would trade for Kessler in 1955-56. I include places like Craig and Shepperd. For those of us fortunate enough to get there, it was an uplifting place. Even with their more sophisticated equipment, I doubt that I would come out of any of these contemporary programs in better shape.

Perhaps I hit bottom before I got there and could only go up.

Where my guilt used to come into play is when I began to have a successful, rewarding career and saw others just as capable fall by the wayside because they did not have people supporting them as I did. I no longer feel guilty, only sadness that so many people are left to waste away when they have so much to offer. I have finally finished my autobiography and I ended with a list of people two pages long who have contributed to my successful trek up this steep mountain an sci drops in front of us.

i too feel sadness. i see so many young disabled ppl here who could do more yet they just sit in their apartments collecting their ssi. it's hard to witness.

i didnt really have rehab. i saw PTs but they never did much of anything. my hands were put into splints so that my fingers were always stretched out and they had my mom move my fingers 4x a day. i learned how to play with my toys with the splints on until i figured out how to take off the velcro with my teeth (teehee)

they tried tot each me to cath by using an anatomically correct doll then made me try on myself and i would cry and cry. my mom would sometimes yell and hit me if i didnt cath myself and got wet as a result. my whole childhood i was isolated as i couldnt get out the door, i couldnt go anywhere and nothing was accessible other than the library. my mother too was isolated as there were no support groups or home health care. they just gave her her disabled child with some instructions and off they went. the pt place was a 45 min drive and it really was just play time. they tried making me walk in braces but i always felt dizzy and couldnt breathe very well while standing up so as a kid i would cry.

[lifeonmars]

Originally Posted by lynnifer

The kid was gone .. I was someone else by then.

It's a surreal experience - everything/everyone looks the same, and yet everything has changed. It's a bit like crossing into a parallel universe populated by facsimiles of all your friends and family. Why are they suddenly treating you differently? Why don't they know who you are any more?

p.s. I would recommend Robert F. Murphy's 'The Body Silent' - it's very good on guilt and relationships.

[lynnifer]

Too funny - I have it, just haven't picked it up yet.

[t8burst]

Originally Posted by crypticgimp

i too feel sadness. i see so many young disabled ppl here who could do more yet they just sit in their apartments collecting their ssi. it's hard to witness.

This makes me sad as well. I was injured late in life (45) so can't imagine the challenges a disabled person faces in school or starting a career, but it is such a shame to see people just waste their life sitting around the house all day posting on the Internet. I have admired for a while your drive and determination to succeed regardless of the formidable obstacles you face.

[crypticgimp]

Originally Posted by t8burst

This makes me sad as well. I was injured late in life (45) so can't imagine the challenges a disabled person faces in school or starting a career, but it is such a shame to see people just waste their life sitting around the house all day posting on the Internet. I have admired for a while your drive and determination to succeed regardless of the formidable obstacles you face.

sometimes those challenges feel so insurmountable. i have pain or my bowels are overactive so i am one gassy mofo (i bet i could power my apartment on my farts lol) or a UTI is making me feel so very tired yet what's the alternative? sitting and being depressed for years... watching ur life drift by? no thank you! i've been there, done that. never want to again. there has to be a point where you say enough is enough. yes things may feel insurmountable but that doesnt mean they actually are.

i'm calling bs on ppl who say ab life is better than sci life. go look at darfur. go look at sudan. remember rwanda. hell go look at ur local homeless shelter then try to tell me ur life sucks cuz u can't stand up to reach something??how very selfish!
that is what motivates me. knowing that my brothers and sisters in this world don't have the luxury of saying schoolwork is too hard. or oh i pissed myself so now i have to change my clothes. many of them do not have clothes to change into.

so forgive me if i do not feel sorry for those who led such privileged carefree lives pre sci. now u wallow in self pity while the kid who lives in a war torn country, that saw their families raped and murdered before their eyes. who may have been maimed in the attack and yet they still get up each morning with hope and the belief that today will be better than yesterday. if they can do it, then cant you too?

[McDuff]

A little harsh don't ya think? Sci loss is subjective and relative.

What do you think a person in those countries you mention who gets an sci(provided they survive) thinks? Don't you think they then miss the "old them" even if their "old them" life sucked according to you?

A person is allowed to miss their old life, whether or not they "had it better" than others or not.

[crypticgimp]

Originally Posted by McDuff

A little harsh don't ya think? Sci loss is subjective and relative.

What do you think a person in those countries you mention who gets an sci(provided they survive) thinks? Don't you think they then miss the "old them" even if their "old them" life sucked according to you?

A person is allowed to miss their old life, whether or not they "had it better" than others or not.

yes. very harsh. and yes we're allowed to miss what we don't have. but to let it consume ur life? to be depressed for years? or even many ppl on this forum tell others who actually are happy where they are now "oh ur life mustve been shitty beforehand for u to be happy now" where's the admonishment then? how dare someone else try to tear someone else down just because they can't overcome their own mind?

i've spoken to those who come from those countries who have been injured. i've read their stories. they say they are GRATEFUL for being alive and yes they miss it but will continue to try to do what they can do.

[marcolondon]

Originally Posted by lifeonmars

p.s. I would recommend Robert F. Murphy's 'The Body Silent' - it's very good on guilt and relationships.

I've read it - it's a great book.

[McDuff]

Originally Posted by crypticgimp

yes. very harsh. and yes we're allowed to miss what we don't have. but to let it consume ur life? to be depressed for years? or even many ppl on this forum tell others who actually are happy where they are now "oh ur life mustve been shitty beforehand for u to be happy now" where's the admonishment then? how dare someone else try to tear someone else down just because they can't overcome their own mind?

i've spoken to those who come from those countries who have been injured. i've read their stories. they say they are GRATEFUL for being alive and yes they miss it but will continue to try to do what they can do.

Aren't you just doing in reverse, what you find distasteful in others posts? Why do they not have the right to be depressed or not feel as happy as they were pre-sci? Who are you to tell them they must feel as good as or better than before their injury?

Obviously, how good or bad a persons life was pre-sci, factors into how/what they feel post-sci. There is no be-all solution to how we each end up feeling about our current life. Possibly, the more/the better a person had it, the more the person misses it, I don't know. And maybe this is a result of the consumerism of the Western Nations, as compared to the survivorism(prob not a word) of the 3rd World Nations.

Any good/bad "feelings" a person posts, are subject to being renounced by someone else who does not feel that way.