Recent Inury - Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

[RJP]

I was hurt 072707 and I still have thoughts ever now and then. I remember telling the doctor going into surgery if I'm not going to be able to walk don't bother operating on me. He has to stay positive and I know thats alot harder to say then do. He still as a para has alot more then others on this site. I still have all use of upper body and I assume so does he. Everting else will take time, I agree with the gym as well I go 4 to 5 times a week. He has to get his mind right before hecan even think about making any gains with therapy. Best of Luck Any questions feel free to PM me.

[bollefen]

I'm an incomplete Cauda Equina 2005 and almost did it Aug 07 due to chronic intractible nerve pain and spastic pain. I'm lucky I guess because I can walk but the pain is still excruciating. I was on heavy duty pain meds which fueled the crazies and depression. Wife found me the next day with a loaded and cocked 45.

Wife Church and friends kept me this side of the line during my "night of trial" and the next day I got serious intervention by my shrink, neurosurgeon, neurologist, clergy family and friends who essentially wouldn't leave me alone.

I had 3 more surgeries and have reworked meds a dorsal spinal stim and it is just enough to keep me on this side.

fwiw, if the pain went back to where it was, I'd likely do it. A personal quality of life issue. But I am lucky for the help I got.

The morphine I was on was extremely depressing and disorienting for me and oving to other meds helped with the crazies.

It may be worth trying different meds? My anti-depressants could not cover what the morphine was doing.

Pay attention, there are no empty threats. I wish you well and will pray for you both.

Kindly,

Bill

[kr420am]

This is a natural series in the whole recovery process. You must both understand that the process witll have ups and downs with many crises occurring during the phases of recovery. There are days where you are going to bottom out, but you can rebound. I am a T6 and also a social worker and although I do understand that med management is important and often necessary, often a therapist patient relationship can have a lot to do on the recovery. You may have to experiment with multiple therapists (be it psychologist, counselor, social worker etc) until you find one who you seem to work well with. It's not always the meds that are the answer. Providing support for the drastic emotional rollercoaster is imperative. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or want to chat more.

[caredboarder]

Hey Everyone,

Thanks a ton for the advice, I really appreciate it. Everything you've all said is correct. He probably does need a new therapist, which we're working on. Also, we know these bad days are to be expected. I think what suprised me is how sudden and steep this downturn was. When any sort of self-harm gets mentioned - even as an aside, I know to take it seriously.

The BF is doing MUCH better right now. He had a great weekend with friends and family and we got him down to the pub for a beer garden drink on the first truly warm day of the year. I don't doubt that we're going to make it through this part (rehab), but again it is the long-term stuff that is scary.

I'm going to get him on here soon enough, we'll explain our story and then we'll REALLY have some fun discussions on here.

[decheivers]

I'll take the road to Forch (Switzerland) as soon as I sold my house and could pay the total amount, a lot of money partially payed to have all the thing goes right despite italian law, cause I can live along daily pain, on wheelchair, SCI trouble but I can't live without sex anymore. I know it's hard but, by me, this is the best way. I'm tired wait the superdoctors talk only about stupid things, life is life if you can love. even the trees are more happy than me and many of us too. please apologise my english again and this hard post but this is the true, too much time, I smoke only along my pain, I can't sleep anymore, I can't see tv, women, happy people anymore, this moment are 2 days I can't eat nothing, I've drink a coke only, I love you all and I hope this letter comprehensive

[caredboarder]

Hey Everyone,

About 2 weeks ago my boyfriend (T7 ASIA B) started moving his legs a bit. It came on fairly suddenly and is very weak (a combination of motor neuron damage + 3 months of atrophy), but it is exciting. It appears as though all of his muscle groups are being innervated, though his right side is stronger than his left.

He's still in rehab and will be for at least 2 more months. They're working on his legs a bit (electrostim), but I want to make sure that he gives this the best possible chance possible.

What should we be doing (and how often) to get the most of this new development?

Thanks!

[gcblarsen]

My daughter was injuried in November (T12 - functioning at L1). Eight weeks out she started getting return in her left leg. She now has return to her knee and very little movement in the right leg. She can lift her left and hold it, plus kick her foot out and hold it a little. We are doing everything possible to capitalize on getting more. We took her to Kennedy Kreiger for two weeks for out patient intensive therapy. They used the treadmill, FES bike, empi-unit and had her walking in braces. This is on top of standing frame, balancing, stretching etc. After Kennedy Kreiger she has regained more strength and can now feel her left foot where as before she could not feel either feet. We now have a stander, empi-unit at home and besides therapy twice a week at a center we also do therapy at home each night. Her custom braces should be ready in about a week. Going to Kennedy Krieger and walking in braces gave her motivation.

[SCI-Nurse]

If the new muscle strength is less than a 3 grade, the e-stim is the best method for getting it strong enough to use resistive exercises (ie, weights, etc.) to get it even stronger. Biofeedback can also be useful for some. He should maximize the amount of time he gets in therapy and ask for more if possible. Pool therapy is also an excellent way to get muscles stronger as the gravity elimination makes it easier to move but still gives some resistance. They may not allow this until his bowel/bladder program are controlled and not until any stitches have been removed if he had surgery (and no other open wounds like pressure ulcers).

(I moved this message to combine it with your previous thread. This makes it easier for others to follow his progress.)

(KLD)

[FreeBird]

He's a newborn. I know it's traumatic and life changing. It could of been a lot worse. I'd love to talk with him anytime. 32 years of experience and loving life 1 day at a time.

Originally Posted by caredboarder

Depression and Suicidal Thoughts


Hey Everyone,


My boyfriend has been in rehab for about a month now (T7 ASIA B) and before rehab was in the ICU for a month before that. Until this week things were going fairly well, he was upbeat and although things were tough, he was able to stay positive and in good spirits. This week everything has flipped around and he's really been a mess. I think this is largely because he's starting to become more confident that he'll not be walking again and can't seem to see a life as a para.


The thing is that he CAN see a life as a para (ie he understands that he will be independent and that he can have a life), but he's having trouble visualizing himself in a happy life. There are a lot of different things going through his mind, but he is largely lucid with his reasoning and understands his situation fairly well. He's starting to have suicidal thoughts, and although they are just thoughts, he's started to generate a bit of a timeline (ie if I'm not happy by this time...maybe Switzerland is the answer). Although I think a lot of that is mental masturbation, I do think he will eventually make it out of this with a happy life, I am concerned about what we can do for him right now.


Anyone have any ideas? Insight? Obvious things I'm missing out on?


I know this is a long road and that we're still in early days, but I'm at a loss of what I can do for him besides be there to listen, to cry with, to talk, etc. It is horrible because when we are talking I find myself validating a lot of what he is saying (which is essentially validating his misery and suicidality).


He's had some trouble with his antidepressants (pharmacy ran out over the weekend) and his clinical psychologist (personally I think he needs a therapist). We're working on both fronts to sort out stuff in those areas, but otherwise what can I do?

There are A LOT of other issues that we have to deal with (relationship, international visa troubles), but this is the most pressing at the moment...

[Bud Magic]

Thats great news about the new movement. Get in the pool for hours. Early on in rehab they wouldn't let me in pool therapy becasue I didn't have "enough" movement so I went somewhere else. Don't let anything discourage you. I was never big on swimming in my life, but after sci, I spent tons of hours in pool therapy. It was working so well that my dad made a set of parallel bars for their pool so I could do it at home every day.

As for what should you be doing and how often, my theory has been as much as possible, every day. I like the some's good then more's better approach, but you still need to pay attention to what your body is saying, sometimes I forget that last part. I'm 5 years post and still pushing this sci along. Keep it up. Cheers