Just new to the board but not at caregiving

[tamiloo]

My husband and I have been married 5 years. He was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis almost 20 years ago. He is 51 and I 52. I have read your posting was wondering if anything I would say might have meaning for someone.

I was born with spina bifida. I am very fortunate and blessed that I can walk. I have only the bone formation. I do live everyday with great pain, but am able to care for myself and my family. My first husband was also very angry at my disability. I called him my fair weather friend. He loved being with me as long as I didn’t appear to be in pain. If he were to find out that I was in pain then he would leave. For 22 years I had to try and deny my body the knowledge that I loved it and that it indeed was in pain. This was very hard on me and my self-esteem. I had no love for myself.

The man I am married to now loves me and takes care of me. He is always aware of my pain and helps me through it. He will at times get into his wheel chair and get me a pain killer because he loves me. We take care of each other. I do everything in my power to make everyday his best day so far. Sometimes that means just going for a drive together or watching a sunset together or watching the news together. We know how much we mean to each other and that when we took those vows that said through sickness and health....the good the bad and the ugly...we do our best to keep them. Yes, we both get frustrated with our bodies and our restrictions, but we never get mad at the other person because of the great blessing to serve each other. Yes, I do get angry once in a while for the things that I won’t be able to experience with him because of his disability. I could list them all but the list would be too long.

I will also admit that I am thankful to a God who created us the way he did with differences. When it all becomes more than we can endure, then is when we give it to Him...he has promised us that he will pick up on the loose ends for us...through grace....remember, he didn't say it would be easy...he did say that it would be worth it!