Help! running out of ideas - Page 3

SCI-Nurse · 06-23-2012, 11:12 AM

Instilling hope for getting up and living day to day. Everyone needs something to look forward to in instilling hope. Everyone needs a com padre someone to share their hopes, dreams, sad, happy and embarrassing moments with.

pbr

elderlyexpert · 06-27-2012, 11:35 AM

I do not have direct experience with this, but I do have experience with 22 year old brothers. They tend to focus on their friends and social groups for camaraderie and approval.
If he does not want to see his old friends until he is ready, I like scorpion's suggestion above about face to face time with peers in the same medical situation, and if possible close in age too.

muskie · 06-27-2012, 12:21 PM

I think in time he will be fine. It is the right now that hurts so much. I was his baseball coach for most of his life and I could motivate him for sports, school, life you name it I had a trick to do it. My bag of tricks is empty, I realize that only way he can come out of the darkness is by finding his way on his own. I can tell him about trials and hope, but unless he opens his ears there is no hope. I can show him people who are the same as him who have done amazing things, but if he does not open his eyes he will not see. So for now I will be hope, for now I will refute the negativity and forever I will be his father who loves him. Time is the great healer they say, in time he will heal, he will have hope and he will go on to do amazing things.

pukkap · 07-19-2012, 04:11 AM

I am a c4-c5 10 years postinjury and I definitely know what your son is going through. It took me almost 3 years to get over my pity party, but the one thing that started turning everything around for me was when I started attending a local community college and enrolled in an adapted PE class.

It was the absolutely the best thing I did after I got hurt! I met another quad and a couple paras and it was a huge relief to be able to talk to them about UTIs or spasms which none of my friends before I got hurt could understand. For me personally, it was a lot harder trying to rekindle friendships that I had before I got hurt shortly after my accident because I was just so jealous. But when I went to the college I was meeting these people for the first time and this is all they have ever known me like and it was a good way for me to start accepting the terms of my new life because there were other people going through the same thing. Long story short, have your son connect with others with spinal cord injuries so he can see you arethat life still can go on, happy and looking forward to the future.

06-23-2012, 11:12 AM	#21
SCI-Nurse Moderator Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: USA Posts: 41,306	Clarifying my post Instilling hope for getting up and living day to day. Everyone needs something to look forward to in instilling hope. Everyone needs a com padre someone to share their hopes, dreams, sad, happy and embarrassing moments with. pbr

06-27-2012, 11:35 AM	#22
elderlyexpert Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Santa Fe, NM Posts: 10	Thoughts I do not have direct experience with this, but I do have experience with 22 year old brothers. They tend to focus on their friends and social groups for camaraderie and approval. If he does not want to see his old friends until he is ready, I like scorpion's suggestion above about face to face time with peers in the same medical situation, and if possible close in age too.

06-27-2012, 12:21 PM	#23
muskie Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Port Jervis, NY Posts: 182	I think in time he will be fine. It is the right now that hurts so much. I was his baseball coach for most of his life and I could motivate him for sports, school, life you name it I had a trick to do it. My bag of tricks is empty, I realize that only way he can come out of the darkness is by finding his way on his own. I can tell him about trials and hope, but unless he opens his ears there is no hope. I can show him people who are the same as him who have done amazing things, but if he does not open his eyes he will not see. So for now I will be hope, for now I will refute the negativity and forever I will be his father who loves him. Time is the great healer they say, in time he will heal, he will have hope and he will go on to do amazing things. __________________ Please join me and donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org and copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature

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07-19-2012, 04:11 AM	#24
pukkap Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Bay Area, Ca Posts: 24	I am a c4-c5 10 years postinjury and I definitely know what your son is going through. It took me almost 3 years to get over my pity party, but the one thing that started turning everything around for me was when I started attending a local community college and enrolled in an adapted PE class. It was the absolutely the best thing I did after I got hurt! I met another quad and a couple paras and it was a huge relief to be able to talk to them about UTIs or spasms which none of my friends before I got hurt could understand. For me personally, it was a lot harder trying to rekindle friendships that I had before I got hurt shortly after my accident because I was just so jealous. But when I went to the college I was meeting these people for the first time and this is all they have ever known me like and it was a good way for me to start accepting the terms of my new life because there were other people going through the same thing. Long story short, have your son connect with others with spinal cord injuries so he can see you arethat life still can go on, happy and looking forward to the future.