Caregiver for elderly parent

[cara_m]

Originally Posted by gjnl

Just curious, why would you "pull an all nighter" in your chair. It has never crossed my mind to do that. I have worried that I might have to if something happened to an airline flight I was traveling, but otherwise....

All the best,
GJ

It's funny that you ask. I was going to start a thread about if anyone here takes care of their elderly parent. I'm my mothers only child and over the past several years she has been in and out of hospitals and rehab facilities. When she had her surgeries, there was no way I would let her be alone the first few nights. Of course eventually I would have to leave and do bowel care but then I would go right back. When she went to rehab, nursing home type, I was there from 7:00am untill 9:00 or 10:00 at night. *
I don't have to explain to anyone here why I believed this was necessary. She just turned 93 this year and still home with me she was there for me and I will be there for her. No matter what
I would like to go on about this subject but I don't want to hijack Amis thread.*
To the mods: if you could move this to another thread I would appreciate it. I would love to get feedback from others who care for elderly parents. If not i will start my own thread soon.*

[MioaraD]

Hello Cara,

I looked after my mum towards the end of her life and in retrospective thought , never resented it or considered putting her in a nursing home.
It was just something that for me ( of ethnic background ) was a normal part of loving her , it has enhanced my life in many ways and deepened my understanding of the human race ( if that makes sense, perhaps my choice of words is not very good) .

As a registered nurse it gave me a different point of view to experience caring from, as I was on " the other side of the fence '' .
I have tremenduous admiration for any care giver wheather is paid or not , more so for those whom look after family members as I feel that they "trade" part of their life in order to ensure the well being of the affected family member.

Keep well ,
Mioara

[LindaT]

I think GJ's "all nighter" was in reference to a caregiver's sci spouse choosing to stay in HIS chair all night and not go in bed where the chance of a pressure sore was less.
I think most of us have none all nighters for parents, spouses and friends for various reasons.
I hope this quote from another thread is not being misread.

[gjnl]

Originally Posted by LindaT

I think GJ's "all nighter" was in reference to a caregiver's sci spouse choosing to stay in HIS chair all night and not go in bed where the chance of a pressure sore was less.
I think most of us have none all nighters for parents, spouses and friends for various reasons.
I hope this quote from another thread is not being misread.

Thanks for trying to clarify this Linda. Yes, the quote that started this thread is taken totally out of context. I wrote this in response to a caregiver who posted that her husband, a C5 (I think) quad had decided to spend the night in his wheelchair. His decision to sleep in his wheelchair resulted in a pressure sore that healed very well, but not without the dedication of, devotion of, and a lot effort by his wife/caregiver. Since I knew she was up against a good deal, I wondered why he had made this decision. He, as it turned out, wanted to continue to play games on his computer and felt since he and his wife had to be up early the next day, he would just stay dressed and in his chair overnight.

I was in no way being disrespectful of someone who needs to pull an all nighter sitting/sleeping in their wheelchair to care for a child, a parent, a spouse or someone who is going to school and needs to finish a project or work a late or double shift.

I have the highest regard for caregivers. My dear wife of 43 years has been my sole caregiver for 29 years. I am a C6/7 complete quad and her life has not been an easy one. She has indeed sacrificed a lot of her own life to help me live a full and happy life and I will be eternally grateful for her love and support.

"cara_m," if you had wanted take me to task for my post, I would have appreciated it if you would have done so on the thread where my post occurred rather than quoting my post out of context to start your own thread on a different subject.

All the best,
GJ

Edit: "cara_m" and I have discussed this thread by Private Message and we agree there was indeed a misunderstanding. Part of the problem was that her post was moved from another thread, at her request, which made this thread look like it was started with a quote out of context. She was not trying to provoke an argument.

[zillazangel]

I know cara_m very very well, and I'm glad that you were able to "talk" via PM because I assure you that she had no ill intent whatsoever. Cara_m is one of the best people I've met, she is a true treasure.