Does medicine block crying?

Mona~on~wheels · 01-01-2008, 06:33 PM

I've had some horrific things happen to family & friends,
and I'm so sad I'm like immobile.
I can't think of anything else.
I can't watch tv, or talk, or do anything.
But I don't cry.

I never was a wimp.
I'm strong, but I criied when bad things happened.
I've had a lot of pain in my life.
A lot of deaths real close to me.
I cried.

But in the last decade.
I can't say when it started, I don't cry.
I just keep shaking my head,
and think about it over & over.

Could it be medicine?

dnvrdave · 01-01-2008, 08:25 PM

For the past 8 years, I've been doing co-counseling (peer counseling) where it is a main goal to get our feelings out. Along the way, I've noticed that some drugs (medicine) and foods make me numb to my own feelings as well as other people's.

I've never taken many drugs, but the ones that numbed me out were baclofen, ditropan, and alcohol. I stopped taking them. I suspect any pain medication would have a similar effect, or a psychiatric drug (anti-depressant), or nicotine.

The foods that numb me out (or make me too anxious for appropriate feelings) are caffeine and processed sugar.

This counseling and getting feelings out has made a big difference in my life, so I am very careful about not ingesting the wrong things.

What medications do you take?

greta · 01-02-2008, 12:22 AM

(((Mona))) Sending prayers your way.

Any hormone replacement?

Mona~on~wheels · 01-02-2008, 12:49 PM

Thanks for answering Dave~

I take baclofen, neurotin, ultram, detrol la
I drink 1 cup of coffee & 1 glass of tea daily
no sugar, I use splenda

Thanks Greta, you're a sweetheart~
I appreciate your prayers.
No hormone replacement, I still have my ovaries.

I don't want people to think I don't care, when I DO.
But it looks like it when you don't cry.

Wise Young · 01-02-2008, 01:15 PM

Mona,

I don't know. Growing up male in a society that did not encourage boys to cry, I have never cried except under very emotional circumstances and usually only to myself. As I have grown older, my emotions have been more controlled and crying has occurred less frequently. Thus, even when my father and brother died, I did not cry although both remained emotional pits for a long time in my brain. Many people suggest that crying or somehow letting out the emotions is cathartic and a release. I am not so sure about that. There are many ways to let out the emotions, including working and doing things that I think are right. I am not so sure that I really wanted to let these emotions go so easily. I want to hold them inside.

In China, I have noticed that people cry easily. Recently, I held an open house and there was a little girl with spinal cord injury there. Almost everybody in the room cried when the mother told the story. It was of course unspeakably sad that this little girl has spinal cord injury. It is even sadder for me to know that she has continued urinary tract infections and that the parents are desperately looking for therapies for her, including all these fly-by-night clinics that claim to have the cure. But, I don't think that I have become inured to this experience.

Here is how I interpret my own reaction. Crying is an act of frustration, when one feels powerless and there is nothing to do but cry. However, as I have grown older and know that there are things that I can do to alleviate these situations, these sad things just make you determined to make the world a better place. I have learned to channel the emotions to fuel my effort to change the situation. It just makes me more determined. However, you have to be careful that the emotion does not just become anger that is directed at the wrong people and causes.

Wise.

ala · 01-02-2008, 01:01 PM

Mona,
I hate to say this, but when depression gets deep enough, crying ceases.

We can try to encourage you and give you advice, but at some point you may need professional help. You may want to consider this since you feel something is wrong with you.

Mona~on~wheels · 01-02-2008, 01:17 PM

Thanks Ala for answering~

That makes sense,
but I'm the happiest, most positive person you'll meet.
That's why I thought medicine.
Not saying counseling couldn't help.
Most people need some.

Mona~on~wheels · 01-02-2008, 01:29 PM

Thanks Wise~

I really relate to that.
I've been told all my life I act like a man.
Such as take charge, get things done, leader, etc. kwim?
The first thing I do in bad situations, is see what needs to be done.
Then I get busy instead of moaning about it.

I lost my daddy, only brother, my mother, my closest sister, and my last grandparent in 2 1/2 years.
When I was 24-26 yrs of age.
That scarred my heart alot.
But I was still crying.
I can't stand looking like I don't care..

Thanks for all your answers.

Mona

JCAT · 01-02-2008, 01:44 PM

Mona,

I'm the same way I'm unable to cry, I don't cry happy or sad tears anymore.
I've shut down emotionally because I don't want to feel the pain I had prior or feel the lost I had experienced.

I keep a strong mentality and don't give in to weakness. I keep this logo in my phone and on desk to remind me daily to never give in to anything.

Name: strong.jpg
Views: 233
Size: 4.8 KB

Name: strong.jpg
Views: 233
Size: 4.8 KB

It may not be mentally healthy but it keeps be going.
May the best be with you.

ala · 01-02-2008, 04:29 PM

Mona,

Since you used to cry, I would say that behavior was normal for you. That may have changed over the last decade. A lot of things can changed the way we rationalize pain and suffering, like faith, a change of attitude or philosophy, or cultural changes, but that doesn’t seem to be the case by your description of yourself. And, since you are stressing over this tearless change, I would say that this may not be normal for you. It obviously doesn’t feel normal.

You say you are one of the happiest, most positive people I’ll ever meet. Outwardly that can be true with extreme depression, it’s a defense mechanism. Some people act happy because they don’t want to drag down others, like friends and family. They want to please them. It can also be a consequence of denial. The human mind is capable of all kinds of contradictory behavior. The rationale behind these behaviors isn’t always easy to see, even for the person him/herself.

Know this…if you are asking for help then something is wrong. It’s ok to seek professional help; it doesn’t mean you are somehow defective or less strong than anyone else. They told me in the hospital to be aware that I may need help at some point (standard warning). Just because I worked things out with my incredibly understanding family doesn’t mean that I didn’t need help or couldn’t have benefited from it.

Also know this…you are a member of a very special club here--the SCI Club. There are many people who care about you and how you feel. I am just one of them.

01-01-2008, 06:33 PM	#1
Mona~on~wheels Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Cleburne, Texas, USA Posts: 5,640	Does medicine block crying? I've had some horrific things happen to family & friends, and I'm so sad I'm like immobile. I can't think of anything else. I can't watch tv, or talk, or do anything. But I don't cry. I never was a wimp. I'm strong, but I criied when bad things happened. I've had a lot of pain in my life. A lot of deaths real close to me. I cried. But in the last decade. I can't say when it started, I don't cry. I just keep shaking my head, and think about it over & over. Could it be medicine?

01-02-2008, 12:22 AM	#3
greta Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Utah Posts: 226	(((Mona))) Sending prayers your way. Any hormone replacement? __________________ T-4 complete since 1973

01-02-2008, 01:44 PM	#9
JCAT Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: COLTON, CA Posts: 666	Mona, I'm the same way I'm unable to cry, I don't cry happy or sad tears anymore. I've shut down emotionally because I don't want to feel the pain I had prior or feel the lost I had experienced. I keep a strong mentality and don't give in to weakness. I keep this logo in my phone and on desk to remind me daily to never give in to anything. It may not be mentally healthy but it keeps be going. May the best be with you.

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01-01-2008, 08:25 PM	#2
dnvrdave Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado, USA Posts: 273	For the past 8 years, I've been doing co-counseling (peer counseling) where it is a main goal to get our feelings out. Along the way, I've noticed that some drugs (medicine) and foods make me numb to my own feelings as well as other people's. I've never taken many drugs, but the ones that numbed me out were baclofen, ditropan, and alcohol. I stopped taking them. I suspect any pain medication would have a similar effect, or a psychiatric drug (anti-depressant), or nicotine. The foods that numb me out (or make me too anxious for appropriate feelings) are caffeine and processed sugar. This counseling and getting feelings out has made a big difference in my life, so I am very careful about not ingesting the wrong things. What medications do you take?

01-02-2008, 12:49 PM	#4
Mona~on~wheels Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Cleburne, Texas, USA Posts: 5,640	Thanks for answering Dave~ I take baclofen, neurotin, ultram, detrol la I drink 1 cup of coffee & 1 glass of tea daily no sugar, I use splenda Thanks Greta, you're a sweetheart~ I appreciate your prayers. No hormone replacement, I still have my ovaries. I don't want people to think I don't care, when I DO. But it looks like it when you don't cry.

01-02-2008, 01:15 PM	#5
Wise Young Administrator Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: New Brunswick, NJ, USA Posts: 37,975	Mona, I don't know. Growing up male in a society that did not encourage boys to cry, I have never cried except under very emotional circumstances and usually only to myself. As I have grown older, my emotions have been more controlled and crying has occurred less frequently. Thus, even when my father and brother died, I did not cry although both remained emotional pits for a long time in my brain. Many people suggest that crying or somehow letting out the emotions is cathartic and a release. I am not so sure about that. There are many ways to let out the emotions, including working and doing things that I think are right. I am not so sure that I really wanted to let these emotions go so easily. I want to hold them inside. In China, I have noticed that people cry easily. Recently, I held an open house and there was a little girl with spinal cord injury there. Almost everybody in the room cried when the mother told the story. It was of course unspeakably sad that this little girl has spinal cord injury. It is even sadder for me to know that she has continued urinary tract infections and that the parents are desperately looking for therapies for her, including all these fly-by-night clinics that claim to have the cure. But, I don't think that I have become inured to this experience. Here is how I interpret my own reaction. Crying is an act of frustration, when one feels powerless and there is nothing to do but cry. However, as I have grown older and know that there are things that I can do to alleviate these situations, these sad things just make you determined to make the world a better place. I have learned to channel the emotions to fuel my effort to change the situation. It just makes me more determined. However, you have to be careful that the emotion does not just become anger that is directed at the wrong people and causes. Wise.

01-02-2008, 01:01 PM	#6
ala Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: SW Florida Posts: 2,513	Mona, I hate to say this, but when depression gets deep enough, crying ceases. We can try to encourage you and give you advice, but at some point you may need professional help. You may want to consider this since you feel something is wrong with you.

01-02-2008, 01:17 PM	#7
Mona~on~wheels Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Cleburne, Texas, USA Posts: 5,640	Thanks Ala for answering~ That makes sense, but I'm the happiest, most positive person you'll meet. That's why I thought medicine. Not saying counseling couldn't help. Most people need some.

01-02-2008, 01:29 PM	#8
Mona~on~wheels Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Cleburne, Texas, USA Posts: 5,640	Thanks Wise~ I really relate to that. I've been told all my life I act like a man. Such as take charge, get things done, leader, etc. kwim? The first thing I do in bad situations, is see what needs to be done. Then I get busy instead of moaning about it. I lost my daddy, only brother, my mother, my closest sister, and my last grandparent in 2 1/2 years. When I was 24-26 yrs of age. That scarred my heart alot. But I was still crying. I can't stand looking like I don't care.. Thanks for all your answers. Mona

01-02-2008, 04:29 PM	#10
ala Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: SW Florida Posts: 2,513	Mona, Since you used to cry, I would say that behavior was normal for you. That may have changed over the last decade. A lot of things can changed the way we rationalize pain and suffering, like faith, a change of attitude or philosophy, or cultural changes, but that doesn’t seem to be the case by your description of yourself. And, since you are stressing over this tearless change, I would say that this may not be normal for you. It obviously doesn’t feel normal. You say you are one of the happiest, most positive people I’ll ever meet. Outwardly that can be true with extreme depression, it’s a defense mechanism. Some people act happy because they don’t want to drag down others, like friends and family. They want to please them. It can also be a consequence of denial. The human mind is capable of all kinds of contradictory behavior. The rationale behind these behaviors isn’t always easy to see, even for the person him/herself. Know this…if you are asking for help then something is wrong. It’s ok to seek professional help; it doesn’t mean you are somehow defective or less strong than anyone else. They told me in the hospital to be aware that I may need help at some point (standard warning). Just because I worked things out with my incredibly understanding family doesn’t mean that I didn’t need help or couldn’t have benefited from it. Also know this…you are a member of a very special club here--the SCI Club. There are many people who care about you and how you feel. I am just one of them.