How do I make people not worry about me?

[Saranoya]

Simple question, really.

I had a bunch of what I tend to call 'little seizures' at work today (read: me staring off into the distance for a few seconds to a minute or so, with nobody home behind the eyes). People noticed.

I don't usually have them frequently enough for it to be a real issue. Maybe one of the 'little ones' once a day (or once every two days when I'm lucky), three or so on a bad day, and a big-deal-falling-over-backwards kind of seizure maybe once a month, sometimes less. For some reason, both have been more frequent lately, and I'm getting it checked out as soon as possible (I have an appointment lined up for next Wednesday).

But, in the mean time ...

A colleague stopped me at the elevator tonight, wanting to know if I was sure I could get home on my own safely. I told her yes, don't worry about it, I've been doing this for years, I'm sure I'll be OK.

Five minutes later, I found her waiting for me as I rolled towards the bus stop.

Are you *absolutely* sure you will be fine?

She pretty much kept insisting, until I let her get onto the bus with me and literally drop me off at my door. Traffic was horrible, so it took us a long time to get where we were going, and I felt mightily uncomfortable about it the whole time.

I couldn't seem to make her understand that, well, this is my life. I've had ups and downs like this for a long time, and I can't have others drop everything they're doing to take care of me every time a down comes around.

Has anyone else here experienced something like this? Maybe encountered someone who insists on doing practical things for you that you know full well you are capable of doing for yourself, even if it's slower and possibly even more dangerous than having those things done for you?

If so, how do you deal with that?

[crypticgimp]

yes. and sometimes you have to let them worry and once you're better give them a nice handwritten note or bake them cookies and say "you didn't need to, i am fine but thank you"

[Saranoya]

Yeah, CG. I suppose you're right. I'm over-thinking things again, aren't I? I sem to do a lot of that these days.

[bollefen]

than when you have an episode on a city street and people walk on by.

Have experienced both scenarios. Sometimes we just need to say thanks and move on,

I snapped this picture before I went over and helped. THe fellow had been stabbed and was lying there as folks walked by. Got help for him, it wasn't serious but as a "street person" in a very expensive NC shopping area the "have's" didn't have the courtesy to help.

I've shown this and it is titled indifference

Ket

[LaMemChose]

Surely a woman with a master's degree in psychology knows she cannot make other people do anything, including not "worrying" about her.

[JakeHalsted]

Simple answer when those AB bastards try to show their "concern" ... "That won't be necessary, thank-you."

[crypticgimp]

Originally Posted by JakeHalsted

Simple answer when those AB bastards try to show their "concern" ... "That won't be necessary, thank-you."

aren't you a rude little one.

sara's co-workers genuinely care for her and have proven this time and again. and when you care, you worry, especially seeing as she is having these mini seizures during work. i think it's normal to be concerned and to show that concern. while it is embarrassing to have a fuss made over you, keep it in perspective. a real bastard wouldn't care.

perhaps you need to get that chip off your shoulder.

[diaspora]

find the biggest guy in the room,
then kick his ass.

make sure many people are there to witness.

If anyone is uncertain

rinse, repeat.

it works in some prisons, I don't see why it shouldn't transfer to real life

[Saranoya]

Originally Posted by LaMemChose

Surely a woman with a master's degree in psychology knows she cannot make other people do anything, including not "worrying" about her.

Touché.

But, actually, wat I know as a psychologist is that people can, in fact, be nudged in a certain direction fairly easily. The only thing needed is for them to be motivated to at least look in that direction and consider going there. Which requires changing their perspective.

In this case, that means they need to understand that what looks scary to them is just 'the way it is' for me. But it's hard to reason with emotion.

As a psychologist, my impulse here would be to apply a variation of what we call 'psycho-education', in which a patient and their context are literally educated on the patient's disorder and its potential effects on daily life, so they can deal with it a little more appropriately than they otherwise would. But, I'm not quite sure this thing has reached the point yet where I'm willing to essentially start lecturing all my coworkers on something that, under normal circumstances, should be mostly invisible to them.

Originally Posted by JakeHalsted

Simple answer when those AB bastards try to show their "concern" ... "That won't be necessary, thank-you."

I tried that. Didn't work . And as crypticgimp mentions, the woman did this out of genuine concern for me, which I can't fault her for. I'm just looking for a way to gently make her see that if she were to react this way every time she saw me have one of the little seizures, she'd be doing little else than taking care of me. Which is definitely not the way things should be.

[hlh]

Well, if I saw a colleague having multiple seizures a day - AB or not - I would be very concerned. Add on the issues of work/disability... it sounds quite rough. And dangerous.

Hope you can see your doctor very soon. It sounds like you need to increase your meds.

Sometimes concern from others should simply be taken for what it is. Generally, a thoughtful gesture.