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Thread: Things are not looking good.........

  1. #1

    Things are not looking good.........

    I have tried so hard to pull myself out of this sinking hole of worthlessness but the harder I try the deeper and faster I fall down it. I am still not sleeping. my pain is getting steadily worse, and now on top of everything else I have lost my appetite. Most days I am only able to force myself to eat one small meal a day. I know this isn't good. I have a doc appointment on Monday so that is all taken care of but I don't know if that is enough. Things are not looking at all promising

    Becky,
    Chicago
    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
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    You have us Becky girl, 24/7 7 days a week, so try to hang tough. You've been inspiring to others in what you've accomplished
    Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
    Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

    Thanks!

  3. #3
    Tell your doctor all of this and more. Don't neglect to alert her/him of the schedule you were keeping just prior to this sinking feeling. You may well have been manic and are have gone into the down cycle of your illness.

    If you feel you need help, if you get suicidal in anyway before Monday, do not hesitate to hit the e.r. You may need your meds adjusted or more intensive help, more immediate help as it seems you are going into a major depression.

    This is nothing to play with as you know.

    We're here for you, Becky.

    Quote Originally Posted by bcsimpsons
    I have tried so hard to pull myself out of this sinking hole of worthlessness but the harder I try the deeper and faster I fall down it. I am still not sleeping. my pain is getting steadily worse, and now on top of everything else I have lost my appetite. Most days I am only able to force myself to eat one small meal a day. I know this isn't good. I have a doc appointment on Monday so that is all taken care of but I don't know if that is enough. Things are not looking at all promising

    Becky,
    Chicago

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    last house on the left
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    9,791
    Hi Becky,
    Ditto on what everyone else said! You may very well need a med adjustment and no matter what I suspect there is someone here almost 24/7 for you to write to and get a response. The food thing is troubling because you really do need to have a fair amount of protein to stay healthy. Any chance you can gulp down something like Ensure? I know right now it doesn't feel it, but your life will get better once you are out on your own and not dealing with family nonsense all the time. I also understand why you are waiting, so just know that better days are coming.

  5. #5
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Aug 2002
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    I wish there was some way you could find a way out of that house of yours. A friend? Group of friends renting somewhere? There must be a way.

    I think being on your own and finding what you can achieve would be a huge step in the right direction.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #6
    Hang in there, Becky! I care what happens to you...because you are you, and because you are my friend!

    Take care and God bless...

    Teena

  7. #7
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/showthread.php?t=92032
    Oh Becky I'm sorry you've hit a rough spell .......... look back ... see how far you've come .... {{{{hug}}}} .... I want to kick your sig others in the .... pants ........ stay .... strong .... I think your amazing ......

    Obieone
    Last edited by Obieone; 05-03-2008 at 08:02 AM.
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  8. #8
    Hi Becky. I'm 21, injured 2 years ago and have experienced many ups and downs throughout this hell called SCI. If you ever want to chat - about anything at all (hey, we've got a LOT more going on than just our injuries) please, please PM me. Not just for your sake, but mine too! lol I'm always looking for people around my age who REALLY know what I'm going through to talk with. I know how lonely and defeating the bottom can be. <3 Stay strongg!

    "ιn ѕoмe wayѕ ι love everyтнιng. ιт’ѕ leѕѕ oғ a тнιng тнan 'lιĸe'…leѕѕ dιѕтιncт. leѕѕ…parтιcυlar. ι lιĸe тнιngѕ тнaт ι lιĸe вυт ι love everyтнιng. тнere’ѕ мore cнoιce ιn ‘lιĸe’. вecaυѕe even тнe worѕт тнιngѕ нave тнιngѕ тo love ιn тнeм. ι love тнιngѕ ѕo мυcн ι ғeel lιĸe ι coυld ғloaт away."

  9. #9
    becky, i don't know about you, but i've decided to give myself a break (with encouragement from others at cc). i'm doing nothing but reading, writing, movies and just relaxing. and ignoring others saying i'm depressed. my pain is less. in 22 yrs of paralysis, this is the most relaxed i've been. i don't care what "they" say. "they" didn't work for 21 yrs in pain.

    i don't know how long i'll feel like this. right now, i'm just enjoying it.

  10. #10
    you're gonna be fine becky. you're young, gotta lot goin for you and look great in that cap-n-gown.

    maybe take cass's advice an give yourself a break. good lawd, having to deal with an sci is overwhelming at best.

    my doc prescribed me an oral solution called "megace" for my appetite and it really worked for giving me my appetite back.


    hang in there girl.

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