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Thread: New Quad Father (Desperately) Needs Advice

  1. #11
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Congratulations on the birth of your son!
    I'm a c7 complete grandmother with all the same concerns.
    For sure hold him as much as possible.
    So he can feel you, learn your smell, and the sound of your breathing and your voice.
    My wheelchair tilts back so I can ride around with gravity holding them back in my lap & chest.
    I can also feed them their bottle with a pillow in my lap leaning back.
    As they get older & start wiggling & standing up we belt them down.
    Now it's naturally for them to climb aboard.
    I don't miss changing diapers. I had my share.
    Now it's keeping up with their mischief.
    My 3 yr old Gavin has brought me an entire leaf of my tropical plant the last 2 visits.
    Hard to get mad, he thinks he's picking flowers & bringing them to me in love.
    I have 10 grandkids now and #11th on the way from 3 girls.
    They love sitting in my lap and riding around outside.
    In fact when I'm in bed they run to the wheelchair and drive up beside me, lay back & we watch tv together.
    They ride it all over the room & try to get in the fridge, do the things I do as me.
    They would never look down or even think of anyone in a wheelchair as different or on any other level than themselves.

  2. #12
    I love kids and get to help with our friend's three year old daughter and 16 month old son. Just being around them, playing with them as they get older, are two things that help.

    I hope to have a few some day, but that pesky problem of not having a girlfriend then wife keeps coming up.
    C2/3 quad since February 20, 1985.

  3. #13
    Senior Member skippy13's Avatar
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    So tell those friends to start settin' you up, trainman.

  4. #14
    My injury is incomplete, but I used to babysit my g-daughter when she was a toddler. (Still do, of course.) We'd move the furniture around, so the living room was a giant playpen. To block what I used for an exit, I used the vacuum cleaner. She was terrified of it LOL, so never tried to get past it.

    You can do more than you think, I guarantee. The stages go by really quickly. Try to make the best of each stage!

    I have a friend, C5 complete, he does real well with his daughter and always has. She behaves perfectly. I remember once at PT thought, the PT picked him up and put him on the mat, and she became a dervish. She was like Nananana, Dad, you can't get me! OMG it was hilarious.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by skippy13
    So tell those friends to start settin' you up, trainman.
    The friends are nearly 40, they had trouble having kids. All my assistants have an eye out and I'm on about 4 dating sites.

    Kids are fun no matter who they belong to, but hoping to have what SurfCat does.
    C2/3 quad since February 20, 1985.

  6. #16
    Senior Member skippy13's Avatar
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    You make it a priority in your life and you will have it. The power of positive thinking and judicious advertising both in person an on the dating sites will get you what you want. Never go out without looking your best, because that is when you will see someone you like. It is better to be prepared at all times, it is a boost to self confidence to be looking your best, that way you dont ever have to pass up an opportunity. People still make a judgement on personal appearance first (shallow we humans are.)

  7. #17
    Senior Member SurfCat's Avatar
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    Wow, I'm very blessed by all your kind replies and suggestions.

    I totally agree with everything said and Jack does spend a fair amnt. of time on my lap but I have to always hold him so we usually stay in one place. I did use a BabyBjorn when he was 6 mo. & under but he's to big & squirmy now.

    As I re-asses (that word doesn't look right? my feelings after your posts I think it has more to do with not feeling involved because I'm not on the floor, or teaching him how to stack (then throw a ball, then ride a bike etc. as they grow) with the rest of our mom/dad's. I just have one of those "totally-involved-funnest-guy-in-the-room personalities that was heroic to many kids I worked with as a youth pastor and I want to be that same way & more for my boy.

    I have to head to bed w/ me luvly wifey but I'll write/ask more tomorrow plus I thought I'd share a cute pic.

    Goodnight.
    "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will RUN and not grow weary, they will WALK and not be faint."
    Isaiah 40:29-31

  8. #18
    Have you tried reading to the baby? There are some great simple board books with a good cadance that babies seem to enjoy. Singing songs?

    Babies love seeing different funny faces and just being talked to.

    I do rec. a snuggly or other kind of baby carrier/sling. The baby can face you or face forward.

    Just being there is so important.

    Also, my husband is AB and alway lamented with our three kids that between birth and about age 2 babies just prefer mom (especially is mom is nursing). They could be screaming bloody murder with him and smile in a heartbeat if mom comes along. Don't take it personally.

    I guarantee your baby will love you and you will enrich each other's lives.

    Enjoy! They grow up so fast.
    Ugh, I've been kissed by a dog!
    Get some hot water, get some iodine ...
    -- Lucy VanPelt

  9. #19
    Senior Member skippy13's Avatar
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    Surfcat, children also go through stages where they seem to prefer one parent over the other for periods of time, at least mine did. Dont worry, dont take it personally however hard that is, it will be your turn again. It is heartbreaking and confusing to the parent being cut out of the loop, but if I recall it was pretty consistent with both of my boys. They went back and forth every few months and sometimes years (age 6 to 8 they were mine). He will need you again soon, it is part of their growing process.

  10. #20
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    Check out this thread of Van DAmn and his daughter. He has posted a lot about being a Dad here.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

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