Quote Originally Posted by VIRGO1970
Respectfully, this is just a frustrating rant. I am writing to vent my feelings here,ureasonable as they seem to be. It mybe childish to do so,but it seems to help others when they voice thier problems.
I really am not trying to do the 'poor me' thing here.
I call her 'breeder' based on her history of having children from multible men to further her situation. Then when they became a liability,she has left them to move on with another guy and a new baby. There are harsher things I could say about her,but I was trying to be nice. I know also that my brother is as much to blame,and have said as much. BTW,not all the kids here are his.
Childrens services are already there. Though no calls by me. I stay out of that. Getting their kids in a better situation is up to CS and them.
My son is my first priority,never doubt that for a minute. I have given up (gladly) things you would not begin to understand just to have him. I keep him away from them,and try my best to keep him calm and happy. He is doing good in school,clean, fed, and loved. I remove him from any situations that would upset him.
My mother is in the hospital, we do not know if she'll even survive her health problems, there is no way in hell I'm going to give her a beeper and just leave. Besides raising me, she has dedicated the last 16 years to taking care of me and my child. Now she needs me. I think that would be unfeeling and selfish of me to do that.
Yes, I am concerned about her reaction. The last time I argued with them in front of her she had a major stroke. I will not be a party to killing her.
Whether the children are biologically his or not he accepted some sort of Step-Father role with them as they live with those who are his. Who provided sperm for them excuses nothing.

I don't doubt you love your son, not for a minute. You have said your son goes to hide to get away from the chaos. (Was it a vehicle he goes and sits in to get away?) He should not have to do that in his own home. Given his autism it's a horrid thing for him to endure.

To decide to do nothing about the children is neglectful at best. I'm glad CPS has a presence there. I shudder to think what it would be like without it.

I'm sorry about your Mother's health. I truly am. I get that she has cared for you and your son. Still, at what point do you say the chaos has become too much? The chaos in that house may be contributing to your Mother's health woes. It cannot be a restful, recuperative environment in which she can seek maximum improvement.

What is happening in your current home did not get this way overnight, did not go all crazy and bizarrely neglectful and loud when your Mom became ill this trip to the hospital. I suspect it has been going on for years.

Strokes do not happen due to a single argument. That it happened as you argued with your brother and his g/f was unfortunate timing, but your Mom would have had other, very serious factors predisposing her to having a stroke. It's possible to talk to your brother and his g/f without going into full-on nuclear war argument mode.

Venting is one thing. When you can make changes in your life for improvement and do nothing, that's another.

If your Mom chooses to continue the chaos in her house it's her choice. Yu don't have to go along for that ride. If you do nothing to change the situation you have still made a choice. You've just bought a ticket on the chaos go 'round.

You are luckier than you know to have a child. That you stay in that house because your Mom might get upset is baffling. She's calling all the shots, keeping everyone close with her illnesses.

You have choice. You choose to stay there and as a result your son is in an environment which is detrimental to his well-being. It's great he's doing well in school, is clean, fed and loved. He still lives in an environment with far too many stimuli for any person with autism.

You have choice. You choose to stay for whatever reasons you may give. You make a choice to live as you do.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.