Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 19 of 19

Thread: Anyone else have this problem?

  1. #11
    My Mother used to do this to me all the time and it didn't bother me at all. I'm happy that she is proud of what I can do. It does take time to learn this new way of life.

    She does it to Andy now, lol. He's not used to it at all and doesn't know what to think of it. I remember the first time he came down she thanked him for coming to see me. We joked about it saying, "thank you for coming to see my poor crippled daughter." She meant well. My sweet Mother.
    T-5 incomplete

  2. #12
    I think I heard it on Dr. Phil. We teach people how to treat us. [you teach people how to treat you.]

  3. #13
    Senior Member KVP612's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    dead center
    Posts
    723
    Quote Originally Posted by Jason C
    I would be half tempted to give these people a taste of their own medicine. "Oh, you mowed the lawn today, Uncle Jerry? At your age? Wow, what a trooper you are! And that Aunt Matilda! Still baking even though she needs glasses to read her cookbooks!"
    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
    Winston Churchill

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Jason C
    I would be half tempted to give these people a taste of their own medicine. "Oh, you mowed the lawn today, Uncle Jerry? At your age? Wow, what a trooper you are! And that Aunt Matilda! Still baking even though she needs glasses to read her cookbooks!"

    That's got to be seriously annoying dude. I guess it's an extension of that "I don't know you well enough so I'll just be overly nice" attitude that some people have. I worked for a woman like that and it's amazing how after awhile all the faux kindness can lead you to want to punch someone in the face.
    Ah, thanks for putting a smile on my face, Jason. You have no idea how many times I've had thoughts exactly like that--turning it around on them. It's good to know I'm not the only one who thinks that way.

    As for some of you mentioning strangers... I really don't get out that often, but the one I always hear, like when I back my chair into the doctor's office, the nurses always say, "Wow, you drive that so well, I can't even back my car in like that."

    And I want to say, "Yeah? I bet you could if you spent 16 hours a day in your car." Or, "Try walking backwards into the room, I think you'd make it in just fine."

  5. #15
    Did you ever see the movie Murderball? Your perspective is also mentioned in the flick. Zupan got irritated when someone complimented him on getting out, shopping, driving etc.. And he responded something to the effect of, " where else would I be.... stuck in my home?"

    In the movie Zupan gets annoyed when people (ABs) question his independence.

    In the film he also got pissed when the ABs were surprised that he was in a sexual relationship, and that he could actually have sex!!!!

    The patronizing circumstances that were portrayed in the movie- were very succinct and to the point.

    Your not alone.......

    And I thank you for the feedback..... as a therapist I too have been guilty of giving props for newfound movements and abilities. I hope I am not one of those as you have described. My intent has never been to be patronizing. I feel I get excited because I know that in many circumstances new found movement and abilities is a result of hard work.

    I can totally see your perspective and will keep this in mind in the future.
    Take Care,
    Pam OTR/L

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by SCIOT
    Did you ever see the movie Murderball? Your perspective is also mentioned in the flick. Zupan got irritated when someone complimented him on getting out, shopping, driving etc.. And he responded something to the effect of, " where else would I be.... stuck in my home?"
    "Ppl will come up to me and say, 'Oh, it's good to see you out', and I look at them and say, 'Good to see me out? Where am I supposed to be, in a closet, hanging out?'" One of my favorite lines! But it wasn't Zupan who said it.

  7. #17
    Oh my bad- its been a while since I saw it. Sorry.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by SCIOT
    And I thank you for the feedback..... as a therapist I too have been guilty of giving props for newfound movements and abilities. I hope I am not one of those as you have described. My intent has never been to be patronizing. I feel I get excited because I know that in many circumstances new found movement and abilities is a result of hard work.

    I can totally see your perspective and will keep this in mind in the future.
    Take Care,
    Pam OTR/L
    Pam, I have been meaning to see Murderball, but have not got around to it yet.

    Mainly, I was talking about people in my personal life, especially now that I’m four years out. But I think one thing to keep in mind is to not get overly excited with it and always be aware of your tone of voice. I know, I know. It’s a fine line and I don’t envy your position. Honestly, you’re not even really obligated to avoid “offending” your patients/clients. You’re there to help them get as physically independent as possible, but I greatly respect you concerning yourself so much with this aspect of it. And then to further complicate it, the amount and type of encouragement needed is no doubt different from person to person. And, for sure, people need more in the beginning.

    Ah, human beings, we’re such complex and sensitive animals.

    Maybe I was lucky. My PT in rehab was excellent with this type of thing, and everything else. I can’t say enough good things about him. I think he was just a really perceptive guy and could tell how to deal with different people. He knew how much he could push me physically and saw I still had my sense of humor (even though, of course, I was depressed like most people at that point), was even a bit of a smart-ass with me at times. And I really appreciated it, seriously.

    Btw--to go off-topic for a moment, anyone who says all government-run programs are wasteful/incompetent/poorly-executed, etc. doesn’t know what they’re talking about. I went to the state rehab where they send us uninsured for our 4 week-max stay. The facility is very old, doesn’t look like much from the outside, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. But everyone there, from the doctor (yes, one for our entire floor) to the therapists to the nurses and aides were just great. Very knowledgeable, very attentive, very concerned with giving us the most they could for the 4 weeks we’re there.

  9. #19
    I still get it 15 years later. But my family flip flops on it all the time.
    On one hand, if I don't go to the store, we have no food. On the other, if I take to long when I'm out, I get the "why didn't you call" thing.
    I can, work, shop, pay the bills, but have to tell poeple exactly where I'm going so they will not be worried.
    G-help me if I want to go out at night alone! I would invite them along, but no one wants to be my D-driver while I get liqured up and go sing bad kareoke (sp?) ....I happen to like singing 'walkin' after midnight' it's funny when I sing it....
    Deborah

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 19
    Last Post: 01-28-2007, 10:13 PM
  2. Strange catheter problem (CIC)
    By JP in forum Care
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-12-2004, 06:14 PM
  3. Power wheelchair and van problem
    By DebC in forum Life
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-07-2004, 10:35 PM
  4. NEED Help; ''login'' problem,,,
    By FREEJ in forum Life
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-28-2003, 12:02 PM
  5. DigiChat Java problem on Macintosh
    By Jeff in forum Life
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-05-2003, 09:46 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •