Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 34

Thread: Destiny or Chance?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ashley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    St. Louis, Missouri
    Posts
    1,944

    Destiny or Chance?

    I still struggle with this conviction on how our lives progress...My ex's girlfriend died in a car accident Sunday morning. There were 4 people in the car, only one had their seat belt on (if that made a difference or not). The car missed a curve and went off the road hitting trees until it stopped upside down. All survived except her, and two are still in the hospital with injuries, though not life threatening.

    It made me start wondering all over again, why do things happen the way they do? Is there really a plan for our lives set out by whom/whatever, or is every event in our lives a big game of chance?

    I'd appreciate anyone's point of view that would like to share.
    Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.
    -Dorothy Thompson

  2. #2
    IMO, we make our lives what they are. The choice is ours. I'm not sure what the circumstances were in this case, but that is me thinking about my own accident. It also makes me think of how people I know live and have died. I don't think there is anyone else in control of our lives but us.

    My .02
    T-5 incomplete

  3. #3
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Someplace between Nowhere and Goodbye
    Posts
    12,962
    Ashley, you ask age old questions that I can't answer, but I'm sure many will try. You ask if our lives are destined to a preordained fate, or if life is about luck and chance, with no overseeing sense to it all.

    I wish you well in coming to terms with your loss, however that comes about. For that is what counts most, being happy regardless of what the world throws at us...whether it takes days, months or years, as long as one can overcome grief and survive and be happy, the more fundamental answers might come once we too are gone.

    I wish you the best in life, and I think we will always ponder what awaits us all once our souls have departed this plane.
    Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
    Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

    Thanks!

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Ashley
    I still struggle with this conviction on how our lives progress...My ex's girlfriend died in a car accident Sunday morning. There were 4 people in the car, only one had their seat belt on (if that made a difference or not). The car missed a curve and went off the road hitting trees until it stopped upside down. All survived except her, and two are still in the hospital with injuries, though not life threatening.

    It made me start wondering all over again, why do things happen the way they do? Is there really a plan for our lives set out by whom/whatever, or is every event in our lives a big game of chance?

    I'd appreciate anyone's point of view that would like to share.
    Same thing happened to a friend, she didnt die she became a quad. there were 3 other ppl in e car n she was a passenger in e back. every1 else escaped wif minor injuries.
    Another SCI i came across was an innocent bystander in a crowded shopping mall who was shot in e neck by a crazed gunman she was e only 1 injured in e crowd n became a c5 com quad.
    it made me think back about my injury n i kept playin e senario over n over again in my head n no mater how differently i played it each time i could not avoid this accident. just b4 my injury i visited a close friend in hospital who was also in a motorbike accident he broke many bones n punctured a lung n almost didnt make it out of e OT, but today he's walkin about back to he's old self enjoyin life, whereas im stuck in a wheelchair strugglin to do stuff AB's take for granted.
    i have always believed that e choices we make today shapes who we are in e future.
    but maybe destiny helps us to make those choices

  5. #5
    That's definitely some heavy stuff to think about. If you were to ask me if I think there's some big guy up in the sky who points his finger and says "I'm taking you", I would tend to say no. If you look at the complexities of the universe, though, it's hard to believe that everything is just completely random. Look at the incredibly intricate systems of our own bodies! There is so much activity going on inside of us just to keep us alive. The same can be said for any living thing and even for the planets and the stars. It's like we're part of an infinitely huge machine that just keeps chugging away.

    If anything is to be learned from events like these, it's just how FRAGILE we are. And how much we depend on each other (even complete strangers) for survival.
    We depend on others to drive safely and responsibly. We depend on medical professionals to be competent. We depend on industry workers to keep our food and water supplies safe. And we need to see our own responsibilities to others as well. Never forget how fragile we are!

    Dwelling on complex thoughts, though, often leads me to depression. The key, I believe, is not thinking about the "infinitely huge machine", but experiencing it. I feel it when I do things that make my "self" disapear. When I get together with some friends and start playing music, I feel like I'm really part of the universe. Or when I look into my baby girl's eyes and she smiles at me, or sometimes even just being around old friends and family. Thoughts/beliefs/etc are great, but nothing can match that feeling... which is the closest thing to the meaning of life I can think of.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Tom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    SW Missouri
    Posts
    829
    Like so many of those unanswerable questions, I think the truth lies somewhere in between....and more frustratingly, it moves side to side as well. That's chance. But you do control your destiny to a great extent.

    We had a tragedy down here back in early January - 4 teens, all ages 17 or 18 were killed when the car they were in crested a hill, went airborne, then swerved right upon landing and tracked off the road and into a tree. All 4 were wearing seat belts, but to no avail. After a 2 months long investigation the HP released its results which confirmed what most everyone already knew - they were speeding far in excess of the speed limit and hilltopping. Indeed it was determined they had made multiple passes as fast as 94-95mph. Was it chance they didn't wipe out the first time or two? Probably, yeah. Was it destiny that they eventually did crash. Yes, absolutely. Sadly they were boys being boys (and most of us know how scary 4 teenage boys in a car can be, with good reason) and they were seeking a thrill without thought to fatal conseqences, and the worst happened to them. The fact they were all wearing seat belts itself suggests they knew what they were getting into and no doubt the risk injury crossed their minds, but not death.

    The long winded morale of this is that some local residents complained the road wasn't safe, the HP said it was if you obeyed the speed limit (30mph). So apparently someone's out of touch with reality or just not thinking things through. Those poor kids controlled their own destiny by repeatedly hilltopping, turning around and making multiple passes. Its pure chance (and not the driver's skill or lack thereof) that they didn't crash on the first, second or even third pass. And that's the difference, no more. It's gotta be a heartbreaking pill to swallow for those kids' friends and parents, and it compels us as humans to want to grasp at any solution or rationalization, however far-fetched. But destiny and chance are merely two ways of describing risk, to my mind anyway. Sorry, best I can do.

    Tom

  7. #7
    Senior Member CapnGimp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Alpine, TX USA male T4complete
    Posts
    3,470
    Blog Entries
    1
    I'm a Seventh Day Adventist. I was an athiest until I was about 26. I didn't always do that which I knew I should,began to about3 years after my accident, to keep it short.

    We have full control of our lives and actions. If we make a point to seek God's will, He will guide us in the direction best for us. Outside events STILL impact us. Remember, not everyone is seeking His will for their lives. You can do all the 'right' things and yet the world around you can impact you in adverse ways. God has not assembled a preprogrammed universe, set it in motion and set back to watch the show. He created us with free will to do that which we choose. Like a parent and their child, He has hopes and plans
    for our lives. He doesn't force us to do anythig, only guides us if we ask.
    There is a second player in this equation who works counter to God and impacts and influences lives and events in a negative way. The whole purpose of his existence since his fall has been to put himself in the place of God at the head of man. The bible shows it as a war between himself and God. Pain, heartache and misery are what he inflicts.

    You ARE in control of your choices in life and those whom you choose to be around. Do your best to make the world around you a better place. Filter that which enters your thoughts and mind, and enjoy life.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
    Posts
    5,664
    Quote Originally Posted by CapnGimp
    I'm a Seventh Day Adventist. I was an athiest until I was about 26. I didn't always do that which I knew I should,began to about3 years after my accident, to keep it short.

    We have full control of our lives and actions. If we make a point to seek God's will, He will guide us in the direction best for us. Outside events STILL impact us. Remember, not everyone is seeking His will for their lives. You can do all the 'right' things and yet the world around you can impact you in adverse ways. God has not assembled a preprogrammed universe, set it in motion and set back to watch the show. He created us with free will to do that which we choose. Like a parent and their child, He has hopes and plans
    for our lives. He doesn't force us to do anythig, only guides us if we ask.
    There is a second player in this equation who works counter to God and impacts and influences lives and events in a negative way. The whole purpose of his existence since his fall has been to put himself in the place of God at the head of man. The bible shows it as a war between himself and God. Pain, heartache and misery are what he inflicts.

    You ARE in control of your choices in life and those whom you choose to be around. Do your best to make the world around you a better place. Filter that which enters your thoughts and mind, and enjoy life.

  9. #9
    Banned adi chicago's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    near dracula castle
    Posts
    9,508
    i had my selt belt on...the idiot driver dont ....i am a quad and he is free enjoing his life.
    • Dum spiro, spero.
      • Translation: "As long as I breathe, I hope."

  10. #10
    Senior Member 68cougar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    western Kansas
    Posts
    367
    Quote Originally Posted by CapnGimp
    I'm a Seventh Day Adventist. I was an athiest until I was about 26. I didn't always do that which I knew I should,began to about3 years after my accident, to keep it short.

    We have full control of our lives and actions. If we make a point to seek God's will, He will guide us in the direction best for us. Outside events STILL impact us. Remember, not everyone is seeking His will for their lives. You can do all the 'right' things and yet the world around you can impact you in adverse ways. God has not assembled a preprogrammed universe, set it in motion and set back to watch the show. He created us with free will to do that which we choose. Like a parent and their child, He has hopes and plans for our lives. He doesn't force us to do anythig, only guides us if we ask.
    There is a second player in this equation who works counter to God and impacts and influences lives and events in a negative way. The whole purpose of his existence since his fall has been to put himself in the place of God at the head of man. The bible shows it as a war between himself and God. Pain, heartache and misery are what he inflicts.

    You ARE in control of your choices in life and those whom you choose to be around. Do your best to make the world around you a better place. Filter that which enters your thoughts and mind, and enjoy life.

    Capn - You said what I wanted to say. Only you said it so much more eloquently than I could.

    Ashley - I wish I had the wisdom to know why one lives and another dies. Why some walk away without a scratch and others fight to live.
    T7 MVA 9/12/04

    Life is just a collection of memories. - C.W. McCall Aurora Borealis

Similar Threads

  1. Gould delivers on 2nd chance, hopes to regain rhythm
    By Max in forum Spinal Cord Injury News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-21-2006, 08:18 PM
  2. Maryland: Stem cell bill 'has a chance'
    By Wise Young in forum Funding, Legislation, & Advocacy
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-13-2005, 04:11 PM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-14-2003, 04:41 PM
  4. Paralympics a chance for disabled to be great
    By antiquity in forum Recreation, Sports, Travel, & Hobbies
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-17-2003, 05:29 PM
  5. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-28-2002, 02:18 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •