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Thread: Suicide

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by cheesecake
    I know that Clayton's suicide has resulted in many folks in the CareCure community thinking about suicide. Some folks are even actively suicidal. The plus is that people are talking amongst one another about how they are feeling.

    This whole thing caused me to pause and try to pull together some resources. I looked up "suicide clusters/contagion and found this definition:


    CareCure can be considered a "peer group" because folks have a common denominator, spinal cord injury. Many folks have talked about embracing one another and the realization of how important folks are to each other. Still others are now openingly talking about feelings of being suicidal.

    I thought it might be a good idea to post some resources. I hope if anyone is giving suicide serious consideration, they will reach out and contact others or ask for help.

    Please take care........

    SUICIDE HOTLINES



    About.com’s List of Suicide Hotlines by State and Province (Canada)
    http://depression.about.com/library/...htm?once=true&

    Aware Foundation’s Suicide, Depression and Mental Health Hotlines
    http://www.awarefoundation.org/resou..._hotlines.aspx

    Canadian Suicide Hotlines
    http://suicidehotlines.com/canada.html

    Suicide Hotlines.com
    http://suicidehotlines.com/

    American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
    www.afsp.org

    Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network
    www.spanusa.org

    National Strategy for Suicide Prevention
    www.mentalhealth.org

    Suicide Awareness/Voices of Education
    www.save.org

    Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (CASP/ACPS)
    www.suicideprevention.ca

    Here are some resources for Depression as well:

    Source: MedlinePlus http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/depression.html

    Websites

    University of Alabama at Birmingham’s Depression: Questions from the Clinic http://www.spinalcord.uab.edu/show.a...1&return=24467

    University of Alabama at Birmingham’s Adjustment to Spinal Cord Injury
    www.spinalcord.uab.edu/show.asp?durki=45578

    University of Washington: Depression and Spinal Cord Injury
    http://sci.washington.edu/info/pamph...ession_sci.asp


    International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression (iFred)
    www.ifred.org
    2017-D Renard Ct.
    Annapolis, MD 21401
    410-268-0044

    American Psychological Association’s Nov. 1999 article “Guidelines for spinal cord injuries don’t go far enough”
    www.apa.org/monitor/nov99/pi4.html

    American Association on Health and Disability’s Health and Disability News
    http://www.aahd.us/page.php?pname=pu...ets/prevelance
    “Depression Prevalence: Depressive Symptoms and Clinical Depression and People with Disabilities”
    http://www.aahd.us/page.php?pname=pu...eets/treatment
    “Depression Treatment: Depressive Symptoms and Clinical Depression and People with Disabilities”.

    National Institute of Mental Health’s Depression and Other Illnesses
    http://www.nimh.nih.gov/HealthInform...ooccurmenu.cfm
    Has a section specific to depression and stroke.

    American Association of SCI Psychologists and Social Workers promote research to improve quality of care and works to improve skills and techniques of members.
    Publications: SCI Psychosocial Process (quarterly journal) at www.aascipsw.org/.

    Chatrooms

    NeuroTalk Communities--Depression
    http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com
    Was he the one with the leg problem?
    Art
    Art

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Art454
    Was he the one with the leg problem?
    Art
    In an alternate persona; yes.
    "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
    J.B.S.Haldane

  3. #23
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    Cheesecake, Thank you for posting all these links, and for taking the time and care to do so. During a period of time in my mother's life when depression was taking an enormous toll on her, and those of us around her, she tried suicide. She was found and rescued. After much therapy she went on to live another twnety plus years that were mostly enjoyable for her. For those of you who are seriously thinking about suicide I know it feels like there will NEVER be a better day ahead, but there very well might be. I am not very skilled at writing about this topic because it is too emotional for me, but I do want to ask you to hang in there, and know that this community cares about you.

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Juke_spin
    In an alternate persona; yes.
    Ty.....Thought I read someone haveing problems around 6 month ago...then I lost track of what happened.....Art
    Art

  5. #25
    A worthwhile thread.

    It's no surprise that so many of us consider suicide but I wonder how close any of us have actually got and, more importantly, what stopped us?

    Family? Love? Cowardice? Hope? Apathy? Not bearing to miss the final season of The Sopranos?

    Easter 2006: I remember laying out all the pills I could find in the house and tearfully Googling them all with the words 'suicide' and 'overdose' to research killing myself by those means. It was my lowest point and I'm sure I was nowhere near close to it really. The 'net research confirmed what I probably wanted to hear about failed suicide and dying a horrible death from kidney or liver damage so I packed them up and sought invaluable support from CC again.

    My marriage was breaking up, my job was going badly, I was stuck in an unmodified house nowhere near my friends. I think what stopped me was letting people down - all those idiots who said 'aren't you coping well' and couldn't see past the fake smile I fooled them with so easily because it was what they wanted. Why I cared I don't know but I felt I had things to prove so the smile wouldn't always be fake.

    It isn't always fake anymore but a colleague I respect shocked me recently by telling me that he and another colleague were discussing people who moan and had both decided I was the happiest person they knew.

    I have been pretty upbeat lately but this still angered me inside. I wanted to rant that if I was so happy let's see how many people in the room, in the city even, would swap lives with me.

    I wanted him to understand that even my best days were lived in a kind of underwater misery of frustration that I constantly swam through to get where I could be happy, that taking a really good shit on some days would mean more to me than winning the lottery.

    None of this was said by me because I like him and he meant it as a compliment.

    But........if I committed suicide now people would be shocked. They wrongly think I've accepted things and moved on.

    Maybe I have in one way. I'm not currently a risk to myself but any one of many factors could throw me back to Googling pills and fingering bits of rope, which is why discussing this subject is important.

    To be fair to Clayton I don't get the impression he ever pasted on a smile like I have until the real ones returned. His death angered and saddened me equally and his mother's post confirmed what an uncompromising attitude he had.

    But it also showed the pain caused to those left behind and I really couldn't do that right now.
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

  6. #26
    I agree with everything you said above. I remember being in a house with a ramp I couldn't manage, fighting for custody of my kids, most of my friends turned out no to be, no money, no job. This and some other things I won't mention.

    What stopped me? First I couldn't get to the bridge I wanted to throw myself off of and second my kids. I couldn't bear the thought of my daughters reaction. I saw the look on her face when I was in the hospital and she asked when I was coming home. I used to wonder what would happen to me when they were grown? Would I do it then? Or would I hang on to see my grandchildren?
    For me I contemplated this even before my injury when things were supposedly good. When I look back at that I feel so foolish and confused.
    I have come a long way. This past year has been so much better and I can not tell you why. Maybe the chemicals in my brain finally straightened out. This has been the longest spell in my life that I can remember that I have not contemplated an end.
    It is definitely a scary feeling to feel yourself slipping there and not know exactly how to get away from it.
    Maybe it is that fake smile you paste on that gets you through until the next time.

  7. #27
    Rhino, reading your post, I was reminded of this line from the film, The Sea Inside

    "When you can't escape, and you constantly rely on everyone else, you learn to cry by smiling, you know?"



    I think most thoughts/ideation are situational, but sometimes, there is an intrinsic philosophical aspect, that is not separate from, but does exist independent of the situation. The Sea Inside captures this a little, and you can see the difference from Million Dollar Baby.
    (not intending to get into that discussion here tho)

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by RehabRhino
    I remember laying out all the pills I could find in the house and tearfully Googling them all with the words 'suicide' and 'overdose' to research killing myself by those means.
    I've battled with clinical depression for most of my life, but one of my worst days was one where I found myself counting pills and composing a suicide note. Luckily, there was still a small spark within me that had hope that one day, things would improve for me and I was able to get a good friend on the phone to talk me past the moment.

    It isn't always fake anymore but a colleague I respect shocked me recently by telling me that he and another colleague were discussing people who moan and had both decided I was the happiest person they knew.

    I have been pretty upbeat lately but this still angered me inside.
    Maybe this doesn't say so much about you as it does about your colleague. Maybe you really are the happiest person he knows.

    I wanted to rant that if I was so happy let's see how many people in the room, in the city even, would swap lives with me.
    Flip it around. Don't you know people that you wouldn't want to swap lives with? I just had surgery for the second time in 2 yrs, I haven't been able to work full time in at least that long, haven't raced in over a year, I'm in constant pain and my hair is falling out and I could still name a half dozen people whose lives sound worse to me than my own does. It doesn't really make me feel better knowing that, but it gives a dose of needed perspective on some days.

    I wanted him to understand that even my best days were lived in a kind of underwater misery of frustration that I constantly swam through to get where I could be happy, that taking a really good shit on some days would mean more to me than winning the lottery.

    None of this was said by me because I like him and he meant it as a compliment.
    Are you hiding who you are to protect yourself or others? Would a bit more open dialogue maybe be good for your relationships with others? Would talking about these things release some of the tension and frustration you feel? Do you know the reasons that you play the "Happy Cripple" (my own term) and do you believe they are good reasons or do you think that maybe your strategy could stand an overhaul at this point?

    it also showed the pain caused to those left behind and I really couldn't do that right now.
    When you get to the point where you honestly don't care how others feel or sincerely believe that everyone will be happier when you're gone, that's a dangerous time. I hope you don't ever get there.

    C.

  9. #29

    Resources as a sticky

    I received a couple of emails suggesting that these resources be kept available as a sticky. If others think this would be valuable, please chime in so Wise and the Mods will know your thoughts.

    To those who thanked me for the resources, thank you. I had fully expected to be blasted for posting them. I am glad folks found them helpful.

    Stay safe, stay in touch and most important, keep talking.
    Every day I wake up is a good one

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by cheesecake
    I received a couple of emails suggesting that these resources be kept available as a sticky. If others think this would be valuable, please chime in so Wise and the Mods will know your thoughts.

    To those who thanked me for the resources, thank you. I had fully expected to be blasted for posting them. I am glad folks found them helpful.

    Stay safe, stay in touch and most important, keep talking.
    Sticky Please!
    My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

    Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

    "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

    Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

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