Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 22

Thread: Funeral and obit

  1. #1

    Funeral and obit

    First, I'm enjoying the irony of posting a question about funeral planning in the "Life" forum. Not to creep anyone out but I am working on my funeral arrangements and obit. There is no one that I can leave this for. So it must be done before I die. Whenever that may be. Although I hope to live a long and happy life, I did receive Last Rites during my last major hospitalization and with my track record, it would be irresponsible to put this off.


    I am not a religious person although I am deeply spiritual. I also believe that funerals are for the living because, well, I'll be dead. Hard to enjoy a good wake that way.

    My plan is to be cremated and have my ashes privately disposed in a manner that is meaningful to me (although probably technically illegal). There are a couple of poems, a few pieces of music that mean something to me that I hope bring some comfort. I have also decided to keep everything as inexpensive as possible.

    Has anyone else planned their funeral? Has anyone written an obit? I've planned a lot of events but this is my first funeral and I'm looking for any advice. My best friend will have to do all this alone and I want to make it as easy as possible.

    Please be nice... I'm struggling a bit with this.
    My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

    Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

    "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

    Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
    Posts
    5,664
    I haven't but,,,,,

    My daughter Shanah's best friend from 3rd grade just planned hers.
    She's 34 y/o and is on hospice dying from cancer.
    She fought it 7 yrs from the age of 27 yrs old.
    Stephanie is getting cremated too.
    But here in Texas you can rent a coffin for the Funeral.
    So everyone can say goodbye.
    She picked her music.
    One song is, "Spirit in the Sky."
    She picked her scriptures to be read.
    Her mother & her went shopping & bought her dress together.
    That floors me.
    She picked out a pink dress to represent the fight for cancer.
    Two tough women.

    Great idea to do it before you're sick JenJen.
    I need too also.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    4,742
    One thing one of my college friends said, and stuck with me was that he doesn't want a "funeral" he wants a "FUN-eral"...It sounds like this is the kind of thing that you're wanting as well..A celebration of your life with your family and friends enjoying memories of who you were and what you were about...a party of sorts...I'd say make sure your best friend knows the things you want, including that you want a celebration of your life...not an ultra sad/somber event. I'd recommend giving her a list of the music you like and songs you'd expect to hear(and if they change over the years, update it as necesary) If you've got specific photos you want to include in a slideshow or photo collage, gather those together so that she's got those at easy access...she'll probably have ones she wants to put in as well...If you & your friends have something special that you do together, I'd recommend that you have that incorporated in the funeral/wake somehow...

    Most of all, don't get too stressed over it, take a break when you start to and go back to it when you're rested...

    HTH
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

  4. #4
    The best advice I can recommend is talk to your local funeral director, since that is there expertise. With all the great advice that we recieve on this site, we can plan on living forever.
    If I was meant to have wheels under my ass, what the hell are these legs for?
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1455040496

  5. #5
    I have no advice really except to say I took care of planning this stuff for myself in 2006. Not a pleasant thing to do at 25 but it did make me feel better to know my specific wishes would be carried out and my family wouldn't have to worry about all the details.

    I think it upset and creeped out some of my family I was doing it but it wasn't that bad once I got it done. I didn't write an obituary because I thought that was tempting fate and I just couldn't force myself to do it. Everything else had a sort of detached feeling to it. The obituary made things a little too real. That was the only part in the entire process that I creeped myself out. So that was the only thing that didn't end up getting done.

    It's hard but I know you will feel a sense of peace knowing its done. Then you can put it out of your mind and move forward.

    Off topic and sorry about the brief highjack with this last paragraph JenJen but I think it's really shitty that somebody needs to request that others be nice about a thread. It shouldn't be necessary but I understand why you felt you had to
    Last edited by orangejello; 01-25-2008 at 07:56 PM.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by JenJen
    First, I'm enjoying the irony of posting a question about funeral planning in the "Life" forum. Not to creep anyone out but I am working on my funeral arrangements and obit. There is no one that I can leave this for. So it must be done before I die. Whenever that may be. Although I hope to live a long and happy life, I did receive Last Rites during my last major hospitalization and with my track record, it would be irresponsible to put this off.


    I am not a religious person although I am deeply spiritual. I also believe that funerals are for the living because, well, I'll be dead. Hard to enjoy a good wake that way.

    My plan is to be cremated and have my ashes privately disposed in a manner that is meaningful to me (although probably technically illegal). There are a couple of poems, a few pieces of music that mean something to me that I hope bring some comfort. I have also decided to keep everything as inexpensive as possible.

    Has anyone else planned their funeral? Has anyone written an obit? I've planned a lot of events but this is my first funeral and I'm looking for any advice. My best friend will have to do all this alone and I want to make it as easy as possible.

    Please be nice... I'm struggling a bit with this.
    Hi JenJen,

    Planning for one's demise is the responsible thing to do for those you leave behind. I haven't got around to it yet but.... well, hopefully someday soon.

    An inexpensive funeral is definitely the way to Go. I think Lucinda Williams says it best in her song "Fancy Funeral". It's a 5.81MB download and maybe you'll enjoy it as much as I do. It's from her "West" CD... my favorite CD as of now. I like every song on it except perhaps one. Here are the lyrics:

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucinda Williams

    Fancy Funeral

    Some think a fancy funeral will be worth every cent
    But every dime or nickel is money better spent
    Better spent on groceries or covering the bills
    Instead of little luxuries and unnecessary frills
    Lovely yellow daffodils and lacy pillow fringe
    Pretty little angels for everyone to see
    Lily of the valley and long black limousines
    It's three or four months' salaries just to pay for all those things
    So don't buy a fancy funeral, it's not worth it in the end
    Goodbyes can still be beautiful without the money that you spend
    There's no amount of riches that will bring back what you've lost
    To satisfy your wishes, no way to justify the cost
    And here's the mp3 if you're interested:

    Fancy Funeral

    Good luck with your project.

    Bob.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  7. #7
    Senior Member darrel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Macomb, Il
    Posts
    2,063
    I'll be cremated also, but I have requested two songs from OZZY "see you on the other side" and "Momma I'm coming home" afew lies saying what a nice guy I was and then a picture of my ass pointing right at every one so they can kiss it good-bye....LOL.. no, really there will be a few words said, I have a family plot that is already in my name. so I'll be planted there after being cremated. I will be the last Mears to be buried.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    south central virginia
    Posts
    273
    i have done this. i wrote out all my wishes and my obit too. i did this after my doc and i had a very candid conversation about my health. i had some very specific things i wanted done and i knew if i put it into writing my family would have something to follow. i didnt want to put my husband and kids through having to sit down and talk about it or leave it for them when they would be going through a rough time. i know what i want and i also knew what i wanted to say in my obit. so it is all typed up and in an envelope in our fireproof box. i say just think about what you want and write it down and if there is anything you dont want, put that in too. doesnt matter how different what you want from someone else as this is about sending you out the way you want to go. for example, my ex cheated on me, mistreated me and our children...well i could write for hours on the things he did...and he hated me for having to be in a wheelchair. but he is the sort who would show up at the funeral home out of curiosity. so, when i wrote my will i had the attorney attach a legal document that said he was not allowed at the funeral home, funeral or on my gravesite. if he shows up he will be told to leave or legally removed. i know that is extreme but i dont want him there and neither do my children. i have written down what music i want...only "go rest high on that mountain" by vince gill. and i wrote my obituary the way i wanted it to read. guess that sounds morbid to some but i know what i want my obit to say and i wrote and they have said they will print it just like i have it typed out. in some ways it is very theraputic. i cant control when i die but i can still have some sayso in how it is all carried out. i have said that i want to be cremated and my ashes spread because i would rather leave the insurance money for my family than put it into the ground. i have, however, been giving a lot of thought to donating my body to science. no one knows much about rsd, there is no cure and no one really understands anything about it. when i die, my soul will leave this body and i have been thinking, if i leave it to science maybe i can help someone else if they can study this body and find anything clues to the answer to rsd. i have talked to the family and they are good with this so i might. i say just think about what you want and write it down and put it in a safe place. it isnt fun but it wasnt so bad for me.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by orangejello
    Off topic and sorry about the brief highjack with this last paragraph JenJen but I think it's really shitty that somebody needs to request that others be nice about a thread. It shouldn't be necessary but I understand why you felt you had to
    I hear ya there, OJ.

    I never really thought much about a funeral, though I have a very few intimate friends I know plan to get up and speak about me, so I rest easy about it.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Hampshire, England.
    Posts
    5,004
    A sobering thought and something that shouldn't be put off, on a lighter note, a line for your head stone........

    See! I told you I was ill!

    Joking aside JenJen I think I must be in some kind of denial about this, I haven't even made a will let alone given any thought to funeral arrangements.
    Last edited by Timaru; 01-25-2008 at 08:51 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •