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Thread: Depression

  1. #41
    Quote Originally Posted by Beth29
    cymbalta again - hmmmm?

    I've tried zoloft and lexapro and while zoloft worked a bit (used it in the 90's) I always found myself wanting to be off of it (consumingly so). Lexapro made me irritable. Short fused type stuff - so that was worse than depression.

    I'll talk to my doctor about cymbalta - Thanks!
    How is it with insomnia issues? My sleep is greatly affected these days.

    BTW - JB - I LOVE your avatar - that little face right next to yours - mmwahh
    way COOL

    I have no side affects with Cymbalta. I am on 90mgs a day and the sleep department is awesome. I can dream again and go into REM sleep. I love to dream. Cymbalta at higher does around 120mgs helps with depression and Neuropain. Just my experience with it. It is nice just to take one drug instead of the drug cocktail.

  2. #42
    Quote Originally Posted by adi chicago
    honestly when i see AB depressed i simply dont understand why? ,love,job, sex ,carrier,etc issues?.i was AB and i never was depressed..sci sucks.
    As an AB, I guess I can answer this. I have very severe depression and anxiety. I'm getting regular counseling and taking 120mg of Cymbalta everyday. I'm nowhere near 'being happy,' but I'm getting there (hopefully...). The depression become far worse once I started grad school, but it's definitely been there all my life (or at least as far back as I care to remember).

    Now to your question, why? I don't know. I can point to one thing that happened to me at the beginning of grad school that start me down this latest road, but I can't account for the overwhelming anger from what happened. I can't account for the loss of my goals, my vision, my passion, and my excitement for what I was doing. I can't account for the complete helplessness to do anything about it. And I can't account for the deep rooted fear I have for just living. Just getting out of bed is next to impossible some days. The fear of going to class, doing homework, and taking tests literally stops me in my tracks. Which is very, very unusual for me because I've always been a very good student who's been able to take all of that in stride. It's like a complete, uncontrollable cascade of negative emotions.

    I know in my heart that one thing that happened is NOT the cause of everything that's happened since. Intellectually, I know the problem is in me and how I'm percieving things and reacting to them. I know the problem isn't because anything has happened to me (and a lot has, just not SCI), but simply how I chose to deal with what happened. To make it short, both the problem and the solution are within me. Unfortunately, the search for the solution is a long and hard one. Emotions and perseverative thoughts that occupy 95% of my concentration are far harder to deal with than what I know logically.

    Maybe it will give you some small bit of comfort that people with severe depression are often just as lost and confused as to 'why' as you are. From what I've read of your posts though, we aren't that different.


  3. #43
    On the morning of June 5th, 1977, I was a 25 year old lean-mean-fluffed-buffed-fun-loving-indestructible-machine. By four-something that afternoon, they pulled me out of the Atlantic ocean a mere shadow of my former self. A baptism, if you will, in the fires of Mount Doom... I am now a slave to the Lord of the Wheels...One of the "Spazgool" A "Wheel Wraith" not quite dead, yet not quite alive....always subject to the wheels of power...

    I exist, not live. Perhaps, with the new drugs out there, I should consider taking something... though I'm not sure that they would make much of a difference now. At my age and the number of years past injury, most everything is all gone...dreams, desires, future plans, relationships, career. And, though I seem to be terminally healthy and everyone says how great I look, I don't feel at all as good as they say I look. I'm sure that it's not all mental because there are enough physical parts that aren't nearly the same as they were just a few years ago.

    I would like it all to change for the better before my number days are over, but I've tried many times over the past 30 years and it becomes harder every time. They say things like: "it's never too late" or "where there is life there is hope"...nice clich├ęs but not necessarily applicable all the time to situations like ours.

    I still believe in miracles. The question is: where do I get one?

  4. #44
    Banned adi chicago's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    near dracula castle
    before my injury i never was depressed...i was happy,active [great job,friends ,sex etc.]...after the injury everything changed worse enemies are NEUROPAIN ,UTI`S AND SEVERE SPASMS.
    ps. i try and fight hard to avoid depression ...i meditate a lot .
    • Dum spiro, spero.
      • Translation: "As long as I breathe, I hope."

  5. #45
    Senior Member GoTWHeeLs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Oklahoma City
    Quote Originally Posted by UKsufferer
    Shit mate, depression is hard. Being active helps but depression makes you want to be inactive. In fact want is the wrong word because depression just stops me from wanting, just makes me indifferent, dunno about you.
    Bit of a paradox really.

    The best advice I can give is to talk to people about it, which you're doing anyway it seems.

    I'm not the best person to give advice on this though, I tend to keep it all to myself and beat myself up over it, just making it worse.
    I just came out of a bit of a bad patch myself, last few weeks I've been feeling better (this forum has helped). I just lay in bed for days, didn't care enough to go out but still put on a happy face for everyone. Someone asks "what's up" and I quietly respond "nothing" while my mind is screaming "EVERYTHING!!!!". I care so little about life that I don't even care enough to end it. Just let the days happen and pass me by.
    That's exactly how I feel.

    I haven't been very active due to some symptoms i've been having that I cant figure out. Dropped my classes this fall, quit pushing for exercise, quit trying new things to gain some independence. Basically it's like this, Im sweating constantly and its very unsettling and causes me to loose focus on anything and everything, i'll literally sit on my computer and putt around for hours not doing shit waiting for evening so I can get a cocktail in me. The liquor numbs me out, the weed eases my mind then I go to bed and wake up the next day to do the same thing all over again. It's become a ruitine I have come to hate. Maybe this is why im depressed.

    I appreciate all the responses and PM's and its nice knowing people out there understand. Hopefully all this will come to pass and life will go on.

    Cheers, and Happy Holidays.

    Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.

    My Myspace

  6. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by GoTWHeeLs
    Cheers, and Happy Holidays.

    Merry Christmas mate.
    This machinery,
    This defective mechanism,
    Twitches and shudders,
    From weak signal...
    ...To broken servo

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