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Thread: G/F may be getting a new job

  1. #1
    Senior Member darrel's Avatar
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    G/F may be getting a new job

    I know this may sound mean but I really do hope she gets a job..she is my care provider and she is my main source of transportation..but being around her 24/7 is starting to drive me nuts, and I think she is getting real bored..she used to baby sit here at home before I got hurt and due to stress levels she gave that up..she feels that she is not pulling her weight as far as bills are concerned..we make ends meet but don't have much left over..so she is wanting to find another job that will work around my trips to Peoria..most are done now, just a few follow ups and then my theropy Dr. which is every 3 months, normally..I do feel that I have been a burdon on her and would like to see her get out and meet more ppl just for the conversation and that...she has been cooped up in this house to long.. my case worker did tell her that it was okay for her to get another job as long as I wasn't left alone for more than 6.5 hours at a time..

    am I in the wrong to feel this way? I want her to be happy and not feel that she has to be at my side every minute but I don't want to drive her away either..

  2. #2
    I totally agree with what you are saying and dont feel you are in the wrong one bit. It will do her some good and help contribute around the house. Even if its only part time.
    Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody's watching, and love like you've never been hurt, even if you broke your neck "

  3. #3
    Senior Member darrel's Avatar
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    what money she brings in she says is going in to savings for our motor home..

  4. #4
    everyone needs some space... you're not in the wrong at all.
    I think this will be good for both of you, and I think she might realize that she likes having some time away as well
    Heather
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    I understand completely what you mean, and think it would probably be good for the two of you to have some separate space. I think everybody needs separate space, with or without a disability. I was once in a very long (15 years) relationship, and we were pretty much "joined at the hip" in terms of doing everything together 24/7. I would never do that again, and have come to really value my own space. I also think the motorhome idea a great one. How nice to be working towards a shared goal that involves fun and travel.

  6. #6
    I think this would be good for both of you. anty
    For every minute you're angry you lose a second of happiness

  7. #7
    Sounds like this will be good for both of you. Can you drive Darrel? It sounds like it's time for an eval if not.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member darrel's Avatar
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    no, I'm not sure if I would trust my self even if I could have hand controls installed. I would never forgive my self if I was to hurt some one..

  9. #9
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    I don;t think you are wrong at all. Havinging your signifcant other as a care giver, while sometimes practical isn;t always the best thing for a relationship. You need some space, and are ready physically for her to be away for a large chunk of time.

    As far as driving, I can see your point. I am just now getting back to it (2+ years post.) I wasn;t ready to even consider it until last year. I think you should start the process tho'. I don;t know what the procedure is in your state (it varies from state to state) but the process can take a while. In CT you have to be trained and tested by the DV and it took almost 11 months from my first phone call to start driving.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by darrel
    I know this may sound mean but I really do hope she gets a job..she is my care provider and she is my main source of transportation..but being around her 24/7 is starting to drive me nuts, and I think she is getting real bored..
    That doesn't sound "mean" at all. It sounds totally realistic. If you were AB, you wouldn't be expected to spend 24/7 with your girlfriend. It's wonderful that she's been willing to support you and care for you, but she needs to maintain a separate life. And so do you. Otherwise, you guys will burn out on each other very quickly. Her finding an outside job is great. Now, what about you?

    C.

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