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Thread: I need encouragement or a kick!

  1. #1

    Cool I need encouragement or a kick!

    Okay, I'm on a great Hawaiian vacation with very understanding friends and a great husband who have helped me swim, snorkel and even snuba off a boat. I'm in Kehei, Maui now. I am SO BLESSED, but I'm right on the verge of feeling sorry for myself because of all the difficulties with goint to the bathroom and pain, yada, yada. You guys know. I don't want my attitude to spoil a minute of this, but I'm just so tired of being so different than everyone especially in the bathroom. I just want to hear something from someone who knows what I mean. Just a word of encouragement or a kick that says "appreciate what you have. THANKS. Aloha!

  2. #2
    I'll do you a favor and switch places with you for the rest of your trip.

    Send me a ticket to Maui... and I'll feel sorry for myself, for you!

    I'll even piss in the ocean while snorkeling in that clear blue water, and feel like shit, while watching beautifully amazing creatures swimming beneath me. I might even feel bad for myself for getting a nice golden tan while I'm at it, just for you!


  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    last house on the left
    I'm certainly not going to give you a kick, or tell you to appreciate what you have, but I will tell you I understand completely. I am going on vacation to Europe at the end of this month with a dear friend who only knows a little (very little) about my bathroom routine. We have rented a house, and I can tell from the pictures that the place has no stairs, one bedroom on the ground floor (mine!!) and one upstairs. The only thing I can't tell with absolute certainty is about the bathroom, so I a concerned. I know they have a huge shower and that they have patio furniture, so one of the patio chairs will mysteriously disappear into the shower until I am ready to leave. Hey, if it can contend with rain it can contend with a few showers. No one needs to be the wiser. But I am concerned about how long it takes me, if I will be able to reach things, how much help I will need to ask for. All my friend talks about is how the dollar is crashing and we are going to be screwed financially......little do they know what my real concerns are, which all revolve around the bathroom! Solidarity.........enjoy what you can, and it is wonderful that you have people who want to make sure you get to enjoy everything......but yeah, it sucks about the bathroom stuff.

  4. #4
    Sometimes I find that it is when I am happiest that my SCI crashes in on me the hardest. For me the juxiposition of the perfection of the moment and the limits of my injury creates such a stark contrast. I try to stay completely in the joy of the moment and force my mind to forget all the crap that goes with my SCI. Having another drink sometimes helps too.

    Good luck and I hope you can find your joy for the rest of your trip.
    My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

    Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

    "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

    Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

  5. #5
    Hello, Darla.

    Those negative, compare yourself with abled-bodied people thoughts are always going to pop up.

    My philosophy is: if you're not sick, don't have a UTI, bladder leakage, bed sore or bowel accident, you're having a great day.

    Time to go. "Family Guy" is on the TV.

  6. #6


    How could you ask any para or quad for a kick in the ass. LOL

    Well I guess we would have to start by dumping you out of the chair and so on. You know the whole story, I wont go into the details.

    Is your Mai Tai half full or half empty. Let your group know you need some down time. Always remember, how you would react if it was someone else in the chair. You would give them the rest they need. The bathroom stuff suck but if you need a hand get one.

    In your down time you could always get one of those really cool tribal tattoos.

    Aloha Darla!!
    Feelin good is good enough!

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    SW Florida
    I'd give you a little kick if only I could. I have the same level of injury as you and have been at this a lot longer than you. You need to experiment with what works best for you in the bathroom. You can get more efficient and save time and cut down on accidents.


  8. #8
    Banned adi chicago's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    near dracula castle
    enjoy the trip ....i am out for tiger sharks ..hehe.plenty in hawai .
    • Dum spiro, spero.
      • Translation: "As long as I breathe, I hope."

  9. #9


    Thanks for the indulgence, the understanding and for the metaphorical "kicks". I was injured in Hawaii and I think the comparisons of the how I loved carefree walks on the beach, etc, etc. before a drunk driver changed my life adds to the difficulty, but you know what my mai tai is more than half full.

    We drove up the tallest mt here tonight and saw an awesome view, sunset and more stars than sky. We laughed and sang all the way home (without ANY mai tai's). Why do I always want to add the other side of it? like: I sat in pain most of the way, wondering if I was going to have to do some difficult stuff in the bathroom & if there'd even be one I could use, having to twice while everyone waited, not being able to hike up to the highest point, and knowing while I was laughing that I was overflowing my pad.

    I feel so negative when I add those things, but so misunderstood when I don't say them and people don't know how hard I work. The reality is that I have the most important good things in my life and I'm so grateful. It just helped me to vent to people who understand and then I remember that to many of you I AM the one who doesn't understand because you have many more challenges than me. God encourage and strengthen us all to find the true joys.

  10. #10
    I'm going to Cozumel Wed. for my first diving trip post-sci. I fully expect a few "Oh sonuvabitch I'm stuck in the sand again" moments. A few "I wanted to go see that fish but you guys are in charge and you made me got look at this fish instead" moments. I hope to keep in mind that I'm darned happy to see any fish! I know I'll have the usual "Oh damn, you really want me to take off my shoes and AFO and put them back on, with THESE fingers?" because that is part and parcel of air travel post-sci post 9-11. HUGE hassle. On the other hand I am truly grateful to be able to get on a plane alone.

    I'm so glad I'm going with my friend Jill, and with Cody and Shelley Unser. I meet up w. Cody at the Houston airport, and everybody else down in old Mex-i-co. I rarely get to spend time with females. I'm looking forward to that as much as I am the diving!

    Hope the rest of your trip is great.

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