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Thread: Introducing ourselves

  1. #1

    Introducing ourselves

    Hi to all CC members

    My boyfriend Brett and I have been a member on here for a while now but I must admit to only ever posting when I needed help with medication questions etc, I guess I didn't want to come over as being too forward, but thought it was time to bite the bullet so to speak and let ourselves be known to you all.

    Us in a nutshell:-
    Brett is C5-6 13yrs post (just gone) functions more at C7 though I think,his SCI is the result of a MVA, turning 41 soon.

    Me:- I am Brett's caregiver and have been since his injury, we have a PCA that comes 5 nights a fortnight to help us out also.
    We have a daugther that is 2 and a half conceived through IVF and are due this coming week with baby #2, btw I'm 37.

    I guess one of the main reasons I've finally found the courage to post is because I'm struggling with other people's expectations of me lately, I love my life and my family and love spending all my time with them, but I'm finding it frustrating when people (ie friends usually) don't get that I can't just drop things and go running to them, obviously I'm not going to go into detail with them what Brett's routine is on a daily basis and have no intention of doing so as its Brett's business, but sometimes I just want to explode and tell them"come and stay for 24hrs and you'll see where our time goes" but I know that will only make the friendships more strained and thats not what I want either.
    Its something since Brett's accident thats never been a problem but for some reason now its starting to get to me and I really don't know why.

    We socialise and spend a lot of time out and about but sometimes people expect more and I just don't get it.

    Anyway thats enough of my whinge, I hope that Brett and I can become part of your community, I love reading the boards because they make me feel like I'm not alone if that makes sense.

    If you got this far, thanks for reading and I look forward to getting to know you all and hopefully have a few laughs along the way.
    Girlfriend to Brett (c5-6) for the past 12 yrs, mum to Marli & Tayli

  2. #2
    Welcome Lynne,
    You are in the right place and you are not whining. There are so many here who understand how you feel it is such a great community. I wish I had an easy answer for husband is 5 years post and I have received support from my friends and family but no matter how well intentioned...they do not understand how this injury impacts your ENTIRE life/lifestyle....people here do understand. So type away and let everyone lend an ear and a will feel better...I promise

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    last house on the left
    Welcome to you both! Aspen is right, people here "get it" in a way that others just don't. I am glad you are making yourselves known, and no one will think that you are whining. Besides, a certain amount of whining is needed by us all at times, and this is a good place for support.

  4. #4
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    bellevue, wa, usa
    Quote Originally Posted by Brett'n'Lyn
    for some reason now its starting to get to me and I really don't know why.
    Welcome to this forum, Lynne! I'm just guessing, but maybe it's starting to get to you because you have a toddler and you're 9 months pregnant? It's been 17 years since I was in that mode (and I didn't have a paralyzed partner at the time) -- but I think I remember it was pretty exhausting and time-consuming.

    Congratulations on the new baby, and keep us posted ~

  5. #5
    Welcome and blessings to you and your family.

  6. #6
    How exciting! Rational people should not be expecting you to do a damn thing. You have a toddler and are due to give birth any minute! Any of those conditions are grounds to drop off the planet for a while...Not to mention the quadriplegic husband!

    It is very nice to meet you. Good luck with the new family member. You're a lucky lady...and I remember well how hard it is to realize thatwith all the expectations placed on moms. Stand your ground!

    I just remembered something. One morning, I'd worked all night. Was out in the yard planting spring flowers, and hollering at my 4 year old to get out of the street. An elderly woman was taking her daily constitutional. She stopped, smiled and said "You are very lucky." I looked up, sweat in my eyes, and said "Why? Because I'm wallowing in the dirt?" She said "You're doing what you love, and who you love is running around the yard. We only get to keep them for 6 years. After that, they belong to the world."

    You do what you love, with who you love. All the rest of the world can get it or not, but you'll be doing the right thing.
    Last edited by betheny; 10-26-2007 at 01:10 PM.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Welcome, you lucky gal, you! You can talk until you are blue in the face with the friends who just don't get it. A few weeks ago our entire family were visiting for a special birthday. It was the first time all of us were together in 6 years. Our single daughter got all pouty that our married with children daughter didn't drop everything and run around town with her. Any attempt to explain the facts fell on deaf ears. It would be the same with your friends.

    You keep doing what you love doing. It is also the right thing to do. Good luck with your pushing party next week, too!

  8. #8
    Welcome to a group of friends that do understand.We all know how time consuming things can be and how hectic life is w/ this disability, let alone w/ kids in the equasion!

    When life hands you lemons,just come here and make lemonade!

  9. #9
    sorry, double post. oops.

  10. #10
    Senior Member darrel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Macomb, Il
    Quote Originally Posted by quad79
    sorry, double post. oops.
    HA,HA!!! thats funny, I'm the one that does it normally...welcome to the sight, feel free to get involved with the threads there is always a topic going on, or start on if you feel like..some one will be glad to throw their 2 cents in even if it is a smart ass remark(I think I just described me)

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