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Thread: What the H*** do I do with this?????

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    SW Florida
    Posts
    2,698
    Becky if your going to continue to live with your parents, then you're going to have to be strong and stick-up for yourself. I suggest that you give yourself a goal--to become independent--and then work toward that goal. Be patient, be persistent, and come to CC for support and advice when you need it. But keep at it.

    As for Disney World, I have been there 3x, once in a wheelchair. It is accessible, the people working there are really nice, and you do get to go to the front of the line with your family.

    When we were leaving Disney we saw three teenage girls in the parking lot. One of them was in a wheelchair. They were laughing about something and the one in the chair suddenly jumped up and ran around. One of the other girls jumped into the chair and said "next time it's my turn." Damn. I'll never forget that scene.

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    3,878
    Gee, your mom is a controlling bitch!

    Well, w/ that hanging over your head, can't you just get up and do it? No need to disapoint the family!

  3. #13
    You tell her, darn it! Tell her that in braces you MIGHT get to the front gate. That in your chair you will outrun her, and the whole family gets to the front of the line.

    Tell her "I have no interest in going to the front gate of Disneyland. I'd like to go inside, though. If the family wants me to go, I'll be the one in the wheelchair. If the family doesn't want me, I'll be at the bar with my friends, chatting to cute guys." A little "And I will never speak to you again" would not be out of line.

    When you say family, do you have siblings? A father? Somebody must see that this is crazy. Get their support and work it.

    There comes a point when you are less a victim than a partner in your own torture. This one is ridiculous. Don't play this stupid fu**ing game!

    Print off, post all over the house, the diagrams of what is innervated at what level of the spinal cord. Draw a big star with an arrow to your injury level-THIS IS ME!! Get quotes from your therapists "B has worked hard, her spinal cord injury does not allow her to walk." Post them all over the house! Change the answering machine message to say it! Make it her screen saver! Talk to her friends!

    Is she crazy? Seriously? You have to kind of go around the truly crazy, they can't help it. If she's just a stubborn bitch, you'll have to go over her. Get obnoxious back. Make her GET IT. You can't make her like it but you can make her understand.

    Jesus. I might wind up living in a box, but this would never happen to me...

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    connecticut
    Posts
    8,272
    You have (i believe) mentioned younger siblings. DO you mean that she is actually implying that if you aren;t walking by then, she will "punish" them by not going to disney?

    Honey, I think you may just have to give up on this. Find a way to move out. Because I don't think she is ever going to get it.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by sjean423
    You have (i believe) mentioned younger siblings. DO you mean that she is actually implying that if you aren;t walking by then, she will "punish" them by not going to disney?

    Honey, I think you may just have to give up on this. Find a way to move out. Because I don't think she is ever going to get it.
    I believe that's exactly what mom is doing. Without intending to sound too harsh, I think this is horrifying. To somehow guilt becky into curing herself of this SCI? Maybe Mom will turn around, maybe she won't. Either way, counselling can't hurt at this point.
    Daniel

  6. #16
    I'm responding to multiple posts in one. Hope it's okay, Becky.

    Skip the trip. Not worth it. Disney will always be there. The emotional blackmail won't if you stop responding to it by acquiescing to Mom's thinly disgused control attempts.

    If the family doesn't go to the Magic Kingdom it won't be your fault. It will be Mom's for attempting to hang a family trip on what you do or don't do.

    Continue p/t at RIC. If the routine needs adjusting, talk with your physiatrist in person or by phone. If spasms are the barrier to good p/t, talk with your doc about anti-spasmodics or an adjustment in these.

    Dan's right. Find a counselor and enter therapy. Mom can participate or not. You need it for you. If you are open-minded about it, a good therapist can help you deal with what's happening at home, can help you set goals, your goals, develop a solid plan to achieve those goals, encourage and support you as you get on with life, your life.

    Check into peer counseling at RIC. There are fellow and sister SCIers who can encourage you and lend support as you make changes in your life.

    Keep your Type I Diabetes in check. If you don't have good control, find a way to improve it. If you have good control, keep it. Find ways to de-stress from the chaos between you and Mom. That stress can bounce your numbers and cause problems.

    Don't let your dog be the reason you don't move away from Mom and into the next phase of your life. You cannot have your pet on campus, but you can in many apartments which are near campus. Find a roomie, split the bills. There's more than one way to achieve personal autonomy.

    Return to Voc Rehab. Get what you need financially to live near campus and attend school. Get a roomie to split the bills.

    Also, if you are footing your own bills for school once family members know you're moving, re-apply to financiual aid. You can often receive grants covering tuition. If you are suddenly without financial assistance from your family, you may be eligible for financial auid through grants.

    If you receive grants, VR could assist with housing needs, books, living expenses, etc. depending upon the VR resources and guidelines in your area. It depends by VR office and isn't uniform in this country.

    I'm guessing from your location and from your interests and activities outside school, your family is financially comfortable. That's great. Just be prepared that your family may cut you off monetarily when you go your own way. They may do this for a time, but probably not permanently.

    If living with Mom is so horrid (sounds like) and being independent is your goal, you'll have to weigh it out. Is your current lifestyle more important than being away from Mom's control or vice versa? The Bank of Mommy and Daddy may not close your account or it may. I'm not being disrespectful, just stating what may happen, why the choices you're making day to day may be more loaded.

    You drive, have a car. That's great Now use that car to get you where you need to be to gather the resources you need to move and live independently.

    Keep posting here. We help each other when it seems no one else understands or can.

    You have more options and opportunuties in you life than you may realize, Becky. Decide what's important, make a plan, execute it.

    All the best.

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