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Thread: SCI Parents roll call

  1. #41
    One of my biggest parenting frustrations right now is that other people think I'm not capable of caring for my kids by myself. My wife, mother, and mother in law seem hesitant to leave the kids with me during the day, and refuse to leave them alone with me at night! "What if there was a fire! A tornado! etc..." My wife and moms arrange schedules so there's always someone here. It's highly unlikely anything would happen that they could handle and I couldn't, especially since both the moms have significant mobility problems of their own.

    Now I certainly appreciate the help with cooking and cleaning, but at the same time they're sending the whole family the message that I can't handle it alone. I do not like this at all, and it's going to have to stop.

  2. #42
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    connecticut
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    8,272
    Zero, I had to look back and see what ages your kids were. I imagined babies and toddlers. Your oldest is almost old enough to baby sit. I would think you could certainly safely take care of your children when you are up in your chair. As far as at night, what is involved in getting up and into your chair? Feom your level, I am assumming it isn;t too involved. Can you get to the kids bedrooms (ie are they upstairs while you are down?)

    I think you and your wife need to sit down, without the Grandmothers, and talk this out.
    Last edited by sjean423; 06-06-2008 at 09:41 PM.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  3. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by sjean423
    Zero, I had to look back and see what ages your kids were. I imagined babies and toddlers. Your oldest is almost old enough to baby sit. I would think you could certainly safely take care of your children when you are up in your chair. As far as at night, what is involved in getting up and into your chair? Feom your level, I am assumming it isn;t too involved. Can you get to the kids bedrooms (ie are they upstairs while you are down?)

    I think you and your wife need to sit down, without the Grandmothers, and talk this out.
    It's true I can't get to the kids' upstairs bedrooms, at least not very quickly. Maybe that's all it is, but nonetheless it's difficult to imagine a scenario where the kids would face a mortal danger I couldn't deal with. Maybe a Hollywood-style raging fire where the hero needs to leap across a flaming rift to rescue a child. Of course, the chances of that are so remote it's not worth worrying about.

    Besides, neither my mom nor mother-in-law would be much help in a dramatic rescue, since they both have difficulty walking across a room. Even my wife occasionally drinks to incapacitation, so that she wouldn't be able to do anything in an emergency either. But nonetheless I, being in a wheelchair, am incapable of caring for the kids on my own.

    I do plan to tackle the issue in the next week, we'll see where it ends up.

  4. #44
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    connecticut
    Posts
    8,272
    I think my main concern would be getting to the kids rooms. My concern wouldn;t be a disaster, but something more mundane like a sick child in the night. I would want to work out a plan for that. (Even if it is "If you don;t feel well, go downstairs and get Daddy"). And I believe you can bump up the stairs if you really had to.

    It certainly doesn't sound like the females here are any better "protectors".

    Like you, I wouldn;t ;like the message this is sending your kids. "Daddy can;t take care of you".

    I don;t know how capable or responsible your kids are, obviously it is different for everyone. But at 10, my daughter used to watch her young cousin while his mom (nurse, worked nights) slept. And they all babysat by 12. The Red Cross has a good babysitting course, I think you need to be 11 to take.

    How about you approach it, that you start with a short time, and show her that you will all be ok. You haven;t been hurt all that long, she is probably still in "overprotective" mode here, worrying about you as well as the kids.

    (My husband was a wreck the first few times I was home alone .... it's just the way it is.)
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  5. #45
    I'm a T-12 complete for 14 years
    and I'm not quite a mom yet --
    5 months pregnant due end of October.

    Kristy

  6. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by glittergirl
    I'm around

    Priscilla - L1,2 Para
    Mommy to 3.5 y/o boy and about to deliver another boy in May 08.

    almost 9 years post
    Priscilla, you have this URL in your signature: http://www.parentsonwheels.com

    Looks like a placeholder, what are your plans for the site?

  7. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by cheesecake
    C3 incomplete walking quad. 17 years post. At home boys 8 and 14 (15 this month) only known me as SCI and 2 kids out of home 21 and 23 (step children who had lived here full time)
    Boy, this thread has kept going, by boys are now 10 and almost 16, or as the eldest says, ready to get my drivers license. Glad to see ithas kept going.
    Every day I wake up is a good one

  8. #48
    C8-T1 incomplete. New mom to 3-month-old boy

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