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Thread: Nurse, question for you or anyne else that may know

  1. #1

    Nurse, question for you or anyne else that may know

    This is about my mom who is ab and I am the one with SCI, but thought that you may know from your experience. I moved near Lansing MI from Southern Indiana recently. My parents are selling their house in Indiana and I have askd them to consider moving up here with us for a variety of good reasons besides our 2 year old son. She says that her fibromyalgia would worsen if she moved here because of the cold weather. I did some checking and it appears that the temp difference is only 3 to 6 degree depending on the month and we actually get less precip here than there. Being that the temp difference is so small, would her condititon worsen? She says that her pain would be intensified and other things. The way that I see it is she hurts where she is now and being that the temp is so close to where she is now, it would not be any different if she moved here. Any insight Nurse, or anyone?

    Thank you

  2. #2
    Alert: I'm reading a lot into what you've written. Given your hx with your wife, her family, your go at law school, dropping out, etc., I have more questions than answers about anything fibro related.

    Are you asking your parents to move in with you or just closer?

    No insight on fibro from personal experience (a friend has it and he says the fatigue wipes him more than the pain), but your Mom may not wish to move closer to you for a variety of her own good reasons. The fibro may be a convenient and polite "excuse" for not moving to MI.

    If their lifelong home has been in Indiana or they've lived there for years, your parents likely have more social supports there. (Religious affiliation, friends, etc.). At their ages they may not wish to uproot and begin again in a new city.

    You can see good reasons they should move to be closer to you or live with. Your Mom can see reasons of her own for not wanting to do so.

    You've let your Mom know the pros of MI. She may or may not share all of her cons. Respect her decision and her possible need for what she may deem healthy distance.

    How does your wife feel about your request of your parents? Was this her idea or yours? Did you make the decision mutually to ask your parents to move closer or live with?

    You and your wife have had a difficult relationship from what you've written in previous posts. Having your parents really close or even living with could hurt an already tenuous situation with your wife.

    Given how you feel about your wife's parents and how vocal you've been about her parents, your wife may resent that you want your own parents more involved in your lives.

    In-laws (in this case your parents) can make things difficult even when they're not especially difficult people.

    I wish you guys the best.

  3. #3
    Fibromyalgia is very complicated and can be very debiitating but I am not sure about how cold affects it. I think it varies from person to person.


    CWO

  4. #4
    Lamen:
    It is niceto see that you have followed and kept up to what is happening with me. And you must have a great memory.
    But as to your questions. I suggested to my parents that they move closer to us for the simple reason of being clloser to us and the gchild. Close to us not with us.. There are many more reasons other than that. The fact of it is is that my dad is getting older and maybe losing my memory, alziemers(sp). And the other main reason is that they have lived there for many many years but, they have no one down there for them. There are my mothers family but they are not close in any sense of the word and my sister who comes around 2 to 3 times a year. So they really have no one there. And they have maybe one or two friends that they do things with every blue moon.
    My wife loves both of my parents, they really have been her parental figures in her life since we have been together. And they both love her to death. She would love for them to move here.
    And my wife and I do have a weird relationship but have made it work by keeping those that are not advantageous to us away. Which is fortunate for us as a married couple with a child now but also unfortunate in some ways. You know I really hate the fact that her parents are the way that they are but they are in their 60's and that is the way that they will always be. So, the farther that they are awawy from us the better because they are nothing but problems.

    And as far as my parents being difficult by living closer and that could very well be true. My old man still tries to around the way tell me what he thinks is right and wrong and what he would do.

    Ya know, really the main reason that I would like them here is because my dad may be developing alziemers or some other mental condition and my mom would have no one there to help her. And it would be nice to have them a few minutes away so they can see my son and take care of him.

    But, the main reason for the post was to try and find out whether what she was saying about the cold weather was true or whether she was just being nice. Thats all.

    Thanks for keeping up Lamen.

  5. #5
    Hey Sebastian. Had wondered if your Dad was getting Alzheimer's or another form of dementia or had another health problem. There was much you were and weren't saying in your post, but that's the way of message boards, eh? I'm sorry to hear it's thought that is what's happening with him. I feel you him, for your Mom, for you, for all of you.

    Has he had a medical eval for it? Other conditions can mimic Alzheimer's. A vitamin deficiency can look like AD as can severe depression. HE may well have AD, but better to know than not.

    Also, there are drugs which can slow the progression of the disease, providing more time with your Dad cognitively intact.

    If your Dad has AD and your Mom has fibro, that's pretty complicated for both of them, for you. I understand why you want tem closer to you. THey may both need help as time passes in the not too distant future.

    I saw what happened to my Granddaddy when he had Alaheimer's. AD took him more and more away from us until his death. He went from being a quiet man who enjoyed life to a man who was frightened and confused by everything.

    My Grandmother has advanced Alzheimer's, is in a nursing home. She still knows who we are, but has trouble remembering how to swallow some days. I've watched her go, leave bit by bit. To say it hurts is an understatement.

    As for fibromyalgia, the temp differences matter according to a friend of mine. Clay says he can tell a ten degree shift, that it can amp up his pain when the mercury drops. As I'd writen earlier in this thread, he says the fatigue is what zaps him. There are days he just "is." He's too exhausted to do much of anything other than to just be.

    I hope you and your family find what works for all of you. It's never easy as those we care for get older, begin to have declines of varying sorts.

    With Alzheimer's, if your parents are going to make a move it's better to do it early on than later. As dementia progresses, a person is less and less able to compensate for any changes. A move or other big life change in mid-stage Alzheimer's seems to exacerbate the disease, to cause further deterioration for many.

    I wish you guys the very best.

  6. #6
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    My coworker has fibromyalgia. Like with spasms, she does notice a difference when the barometric pressure changes, but I don't believe a temp change of just a few degrees makes a difference. I think the biggest question would be how wet or dry the 2 climates are (here in MI and wherever your mom is - I'm in Detroit suburbs). That would make more of a difference than actual temp from what I've learned from her.
    Tina
    C5-C7 Walking Quad - Very Incomplete
    Aug '03

  7. #7
    Senior Member Broknwing's Avatar
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    Temperature changes(Hot OR Cold) with Fibromyalgia are very intense & difficult...And as someone else mentioned humidity wreaks havoc as well...The cold is horrible, as is the heat...add in excess humidity(I'm familiar with MI summers, I know how bad it can be) and it ramps up the pain factor tremendously.

    NOW, on another note...travel in & of itself can cause Fibro pain to flare...as can other barometric and atmospheric changes...Your mom may be using the temperature as a "simple" explination but the entire moving and changing climates(yes a few degrees is a climate change)
    could cause her a severe fibro flare up that she's trying not to have to explain in great detail. Stress also is a huge factor in causing flare-ups and pain. A huge move like that can also be very stressful...

    There are A LOT of factors that can lead to/cause/contribute/etc Fibro pain & flare-ups...She may have chosen the easiest to explain so that she didn't have to go into full detail with you...She probably DOES notice a 2-3 degree temperature change...You may not, your wife & child may not...but she probably does...

    If she's computer savvy and wants some resources on Fibro & research, I can pass on a ton that my mom has...My mom also has Fibro, & I most likely do, however I have never been formally diagnosed...
    'Chelle
    L-1 inc 11/24/03

    "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

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