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Thread: Just venting about family

  1. #1
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Just venting about family

    Well, I won't go into the gory details but Chad and I had a horrific fight with his mom and some of his family. There is a LONG history of tension between his mom, me and Chad, and he has had a contentious (at best) relationship with his mom even before I entered the picture several years ago. There was an event that has now made it very clear how people view us/him/me and we are all going out separate ways out of mutual agreement, I guess is how I'll put it.

    This means that we are going to not be able to use his trust fund that is intended for his medical care - both because we won't ask for anything from it anymore and becuase it would surely be "denied" if we did ask, and that is going to be really, really, really hard on me. But, we move on, we will figure it out.

    Please no flames or advice on how to patch things up, or that we should. It's a very long story and I just need a little moral support I guess.

    Ami
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  2. #2
    I see the key word here as HIS...as in his trust fund.

    He is entitled to that which is his, Ami. Unless they can legally deny it, I'd be damned if I'd let anyone be deprived of what they need and is legally theirs.

    No matter what, you know I wish you all the best.

  3. #3
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betheny
    I see the key word here as HIS...as in his trust fund.

    He is entitled to that which is his, Ami. Unless they can legally deny it, I'd be damned if I'd let anyone be deprived of what they need and is legally theirs.

    No matter what, you know I wish you all the best.
    It is indeed his, it is very clear in the will. But, we would have to sue to get legal rights to it as his mom controls it right now, and at this point, I don't think we can deal with that - finacially (if we can't afford a PCA we can't afford a lawyer!) or emotionally. Maybe at some point in the future. It is really a f**ked up situation all around. But for the first time ever, Chad has stood up and said "ENOUGH" and realizes that it is not his fault, that its a two way street and sometimes you just have to get off the street and take another route. If that even makes any sense.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  4. #4
    You didn't ask for advice...LOL, like that ever matters. I would call Legal Aid or whatever the pro-bono equivalent may be where you live, and get started. It is HIS. No judge or jury will deny it, or deny him of it. It's an advantage of quad-dom...people feel bad if they allow you to be robbed. The other alternative is to sue and make the fam pay the legal expenses. I doubt it would get far unless they are raving idiots.

    I understand the emotional issue, and that you are spread too thin just now. You and I both know that poverty is pretty g-d draining in its own right, though.

    Just saying, I think you should do it, for all concerned, for your health and for your marriage and your family. There is nothing noble about poverty, it outright sucks. I don't think it would take much more than a start to make them relent. Your hubby should start the ball rolling, actually.

    I would do it, fwiw. I wish I had a trust fund LOL.

  5. #5
    Ami my heart goes out to you.I don't deal well with family either.I pray that everything works out somehow.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
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    Sending lots of moral support from the UK and giving no advice.........

    ...... just follow Beth's.

  7. #7
    Family sure can sux. I can't think of one family that doesn't have their share of turmoil. I mean this from the bottom of my heart====you and Chad are very blessed to have found each other and even though they say love doesn't pay the bills what you two have is worth much more than a trust fund. The only thing I ask is if I could have the male clone of you Ami.

  8. #8
    Sorry you're going through this Ami. Family is why I'm an orphan by choice. Legal work, no money, sounds like a job for ACarson. or, contact the legal clinic at the closest law school.
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  9. #9
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    Oh Good Lord Ami!

    Everything that Beth said........

    What kind of a parent would deprive her son of a trust fund intended for his medical use ~ given Chad's circumstances? I just cannot imagine.

    Wishing you guys all the best, and a swift solution.


    Shelley

  10. #10
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Ditto .... what everyone else said .... oh yeah and when you're a little bored .. and have some time on your hands you've just gota fill us in on this one ... I'm with Shelley on the wtf's the idea of denying someone what's rightfully their's (and given Chad's situation).... holy cats ..... always wishing you the best Ami !

    Obieone
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