Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: What can YOU do?

  1. #1

    What can YOU do?

    I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting pretty tired of reading topics where someone asks for help, and there's a pile-on saying things like - oh, well you're a C7 - or T12 - or whatever - you SHOULD be able to do this or that.

    All I have to say is that there's not a person here who can make that kind of judgement on another person - especially!! based on a few posts.

    And furthermore, no one here has the right to make those sorts of judgements. Without knowing all sorts of factors that may or may not play into a person's dependence on others, or their independence, there is absolutely no way any of us can make these calls.

    When someone comes on here asking for help, please don't make judgements - if you can't offer them constructive help, stay out of the topic. If your intent is voice your own views, start a new topic. If your intent is to hijack the topic for your own means, again go start a new topic.

    There are some incredibly selfish, narcissistic people on these boards who have chased off other folks who are just trying to get an honest answer, opinion, or assessment. They don't ask questions to be belittled or made to feel lessened in any way.

    If you're confused about what the caregiver's forum is about, please read this:

    http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/showthread.php?t=81650

    Thank you for listening. You know who you are.
    _____________

  2. #2
    Good rant, marmalady, well said. I've been guilty of this myself, sometimes I don't even realize it until I go back and read my own posts. I try to wedge my own problems into the thread when the whole point of the thread is to help the original poster.

    It's really hard to think of others when you're in so much pain yourself. Compassion doesn't come naturally to most people I think, selfishness is sort of the default human behavior. Yet at the same time compassion should be easy for us, realizing that other folks share the same sort of pains we do, some more, some less, but it's all shades of gray.

    It's all about compassion, I try to remind myself of this every day.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by marmalady
    I don't know about anyone else, but I'm getting pretty tired of reading topics where someone asks for help, and there's a pile-on saying things like - oh, well you're a C7 - or T12 - or whatever - you SHOULD be able to do this or that.

    All I have to say is that there's not a person here who can make that kind of judgement on another person - especially!! based on a few posts.

    And furthermore, no one here has the right to make those sorts of judgements. Without knowing all sorts of factors that may or may not play into a person's dependence on others, or their independence, there is absolutely no way any of us can make these calls.

    When someone comes on here asking for help, please don't make judgements - if you can't offer them constructive help, stay out of the topic. If your intent is voice your own views, start a new topic. If your intent is to hijack the topic for your own means, again go start a new topic.

    There are some incredibly selfish, narcissistic people on these boards who have chased off other folks who are just trying to get an honest answer, opinion, or assessment. They don't ask questions to be belittled or made to feel lessened in any way.

    If you're confused about what the caregiver's forum is about, please read this:

    http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/showthread.php?t=81650

    Thank you for listening. You know who you are.
    Well said Marmalady!!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    534
    right on! Thanks Marmalady!

    Sieg

  5. #5
    Tx for allowing my little rant! I just get so angry when judgement calls are made. Especially here in caregivers, where we're dealing with the issues of being a family member/caregiver. We're not welcome - as has been proven many times in the past - to jump into a topic on one of the other forums to attempt to offer advice, or give opinions. I would say the same thing here - SCI issues and family/caregiving issues, although they are intimately entwined, are not the same.

    To the rest of the community; we absolutely welcome your input, but please - don't hijack the topics here with your own agenda; don't come in here and criticize; don't come in here and pontificate what many see as narrow minded views.

    I'm going back under my rock now!
    _____________

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by marmalady
    I'm going back under my rock now!
    Why?

    JimmyMack
    JimmyMack
    Member: New Jersey Commission on Spinal Cord Reasearch
    http://www.state.nj.us/health/spinalcord/index.shtml

  7. #7
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    North Carolina, USA
    Posts
    3,399
    ** clap, clap, yay, yay **

    ETA: after I went back it looked like I was clapping about you going back under your rock, lol .... just to be clear: CLAP CLAP YAY YAY about your original post!
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by zillazangel
    ** clap, clap, yay, yay **

    ETA: after I went back it looked like I was clapping about you going back under your rock, lol .... just to be clear: CLAP CLAP YAY YAY about your original post!
    Don't worry - I got it!
    _____________

  9. #9
    I've worked with lots of different people with SCI's and you can't judge a person by their level of injury!!

  10. #10

    Angry

    I am new to this forum, but not to caregiving. Our son was injured in 1984, and I have been his caregiver ever since.

    People sometimes cannot understand why he is not in the "work force" as other wheelchair folks are, or why I have to be with him so much.

    I know in todays age, there are a lot of new things that can be done, but in 1984 and in Bismarck NDakota there was just a three month rehab while your neck healed. He is an incomplete C5/6 and back then there was not much he could be trained to do. No Computers!! No accessible areas in workplaces.

    I am venting, aren't I, sorry! But reading this thread sorta brought my thoughts to the hands on the keyboard.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •