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Thread: The pros and cons of a fresh start?

  1. #1

    The pros and cons of a fresh start?

    The last few months I've been mulling over the idea of moving with a couple of friends from England to Ireland. I think maybe it would be easier to move on with my life if I moved to somewhere new?
    I pass the place where I had my accident nearly every time I venture outside my house, I live near the same town I've lived in since I was a kid, the people I used to party with walk past me in the street, I feel as though every place reminds me of how much my life has changed since I dot injured. Part of me thinks that maybe I'd be more confident and happier if I was in a new place with people I didn't know before? That people might accept me rather than comparing me to the person I was before I got injured?
    Another part of me wants to show the people who walked out on me after I was injured that I've moved on that I can be successful in every area of life. I know that I will really miss my home, the friends who stuck by me, the familiarity of my life.
    I would really like some advice from people who still live in the same town as they did before they got injured and also those who chose to make a fresh start somewhere new. What are the pro's and con's in each case?

  2. #2
    butting in..
    Do what you want.
    If you feel you want to move, to make a change, then do it.
    It's your life. Live it the best you can.
    My life changed in 1977 on my way to work after school.
    I lived in the hill country in central Texas.
    I've since lived in many places, typically 3 years at at time.
    I'm glad to have met and made new friends, and seen so many places.

    Follow your dream, even if your doing it in a different way.
    Rick Brauer or just call me - Mr B

    http://www.riseadventures.org

  3. #3
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
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    I think your first move is to look at the support services you now take for grated and will be leaving behind.

    I know nothing about your financial position so this caveat may not apply - BUT....

    I was in Cork on the 27th. April and Dublin on the 28th. despite having an Irish brother in law (now living in London) who has kept me abreast of the changes since I was last there 15 years ago I could not believe my eyes.

    A 2 bed flat in Dublin will cost you £400,000, a basket of groceries will cost you 30% more than it would here, what there is of the Irish health service stinks unless you go private. I could go on.

    Unless you want to live in the Midlands, which no one does, there is no escaping the astronomical cost of living, Kerry, the west coast, forget it the whole area is geared to rich weekenders escaping the two cities.

    Also remember you can't claim UK benefits in Ireland and there is no way you could survive on the Irish equivalent.

    Having said all that I am a believer in "a change is as good as a rest" and there are plenty of other places in Europe.

    What ever you decide I wish you luck.

    All the best,

    Jonathan.

  4. #4
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    When I was 18, I moved an hour away from my family home. It was cathartic. Wonderful. I'd choose to do it again.

    Over the years I've lived in Windsor, I've been so tempted to pick up and move again, but the timing has never been right.

    I'd say go for it.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #5
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    Hey Loco

    I am pondering this same question. I have been in the same town all 38 years of my life and 18 of them as SCI. I know how you feel about friends who have walked out on you. People here still see me as helpless and hopeless and as someone who needs help.....

    I am long past the "remembering what life used to be like" stage. I was thinking about that the other day. My daughter who is graduating tomorrow has never known me as able-bodied. It is hard for her to understand that I used to do all the things she does at her age including pool hopping and mischief...LOL

    I have a phone interview with a hospital in Wyoming tomorrow. So I am considering a cross Continental US move. I live in North Carolina so it is going to be a major move. I really want to do this because I love the west and I want to show all my friends and family that I can do it. It has been a dream for the last few years to make it to either Wyoming or Montana.

    Part of me thinks that maybe I'd be more confident and happier if I was in a new place with people I didn't know before? That people might accept me rather than comparing me to the person I was before I got injured?
    I have been thinking this same thing for a long time. My hesitancy has been my daughter because I wanted her to finish high school here. I kind of know that the confidence thing is true. I work in the next town over. I originally went into a job where no one knew me or anything about me. That boosted my confidence because I excelled at my job and the people I worked with did not know my past to be able to judge me for it. My Managers and my co-workers judged me on my abilities not my looks. I think the VP had her reservations at first about hiring someone as disabled as I was the first that they hired. Yes..... it was a very small town. It felt really good to get notes from an Administrator telling me what a great job I was doing.

    I had to give that job up in 2004 because of an out of control pain issue. I just returned to work at the same place about two months ago but I struggle because I had to take a different lesser paying job. I hate being at home so I took it.

    Now that my daughter is graduating....I am really feeling the urge to relocate and find another Director of Medical Records position. I love my job now but I really hate to work for the same amount that I draw in disability every month. Like I said I took a pretty big cut in pay just to go back to work......

    So I say.....if you want to move. Go ahead....you can always go back if you find you have made a mistake but if you never take the chance you will never know what you missed.

    Good luck and I wish you well in what ever you decide....

    (sorry so long)
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  6. #6
    Hi Loco,

    It seems like Timaru has a line on things there in the UK. I'd give it a good mulling over before you burn any bridges. Maybe you could move somewhere else in England so you'd still have the same healthcare services (NHS) and the cost of daily living wouldn't be so inflated as Timaru says it is in Ireland.

    I'm surprised that it costs more to live in Ireland. For some reason I thought it would be cheaper. I guess the vivid pictures of the hard life in Ireland that were depicted and recounted in "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCourt are still alive in my mind. Ireland sure has begun to prosper (and I guess inflation along with it) especially after "The Troubles" were peaceably and successfully negotiated. Thank goodness.

    I'm half English and half Irish and would love to visit both countries. But especially Ireland.... I want to see the fields of heather..... although that new "no smoking" ban in Irish pubs seems so out of place in Ireland. I can't get drunk without smoking a few packs of fags... er ... I mean cigarettes. Wouldn't want to offend a certain person here. Todd, are you here?

    Bob.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  7. #7
    Nothing wrong with the Midlands

  8. #8
    I've been in the Raleigh, NC area almost my entire life (including the past 4 years post injury). Next month, it looks like I'll be moving an hour west....to make a fresh start..for many of the reasons you listed above.

    Maybe try somewhere that is away from everything that you know...yet close enough that you can go back if you need support from time to time.
    "Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me" ~Sarah McLachlan

  9. #9
    It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only person to feel this way and to hear about others experiences.
    I am surprised that living costs are higher in Ireland than in England, my brother lives in Dublin and still swears that everythings cheaper including the houses, I think he is probably biased though
    There seems to be a far greater number of houses in Ireland that could be made easily accessible without too much work and they seem much more reasonably priced than similar houses in England.
    Timaru, I receive some financial support from my parents and work part-time from home so wouldn't be completely dependant upon benefits.
    One of the two friends I would be moving in with is my main carer at the moment but would probably be my only carer if I moved to Ireland, at least until I could find somebody suitable and I am concerned about the strain this would put her under.
    I love Ireland and have visited it many times, also I would like to live closer to my brother (we are looking at houses that are under a two hour drive from Dublin city centre).
    There isn't any where in England that has really taken my fancy and that we could afford sorry Bikeracer but the Midlands don't really appeal to me
    Sorry for rambling
    Last edited by loco; 06-14-2007 at 01:06 PM.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
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    Sorry Loco, I didn't make myself clear, I meant the Midlands of Ireland.

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