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Thread: not been a good Dad

  1. #1

    not been a good Dad

    Well just in the last couple of weeks I have learned what a piss poor job of being a Dad that I did. Things I done,and didn't do, things I said, I had always said I knew that I had not been a good Dad, So let this be to you young Dad's out there. Try to be the best Dad that you can be, other wise it will come back to you in forms that hurt you very bad inside. You will get reminded of it later in life and you can't argue with it. My little rant.

  2. #2
    Cheer up! "When you know better, you do better." - Maya Angelou


  3. #3
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    duge . . . we really are all doing the best we can, and if your kids don't know that today, they surely will sooner or later.

    my own parents were--sorry to say it--pretty terrible. still, they got a lot of basic stuff right--they must have, or I wouldn't know terrible from terrific, would I?

  4. #4
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    If someone told you off, I went through that phase. My niece is going through it now. From age 17 until just before my mother died in December 1996.

    My niece just turned 22 and has been giving the 'you don't know, you're so rotten and why didn't you do this' schpiel to her parents for a couple of years now.

    Don't take it personally. Really.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #5
    Duge
    Please do not be so upset ..
    When one of my sons told me how much better I could have done things as a Mum,I have reminded him that none of them (6) came with a manual instructions and he has the perfect opportunity to learn from my mistakes and be the perfect parent.
    That was 7 years ago ( He is now 27 ) & so far so good ,no repeat.

  6. #6
    You know, I realize that I didn't do a good job as a kid. My dad passed away too soon, I wish I could have been a better role model for my younger brother. I wish I could have heeded my parents' advise more fully, but alas, time flies and it will never have been used the way we intend in hind-site. Even right this minute.

    So don't fret. The most important thing I realize is love. We will all make mistakes, as it is a given. But the providing of a loving environment is important.
    No one ever became unsuccessful by helping others out

  7. #7
    Aw, Doug, we all do our best. Did you work your butt off, so they always had food and shelter? I bet you did. Did you love them? I bet you did.

    All we can do is try. At a certain point, all they can do is judge. My stepson has been in that stage for a while now. It sucks, when you did the best you knew how to do. I know you tried. Try now to not take this stage too personally.

    Here at Carecure, we love ya.

  8. #8
    Banned adi chicago's Avatar
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    my parents always loved me even if i was the black sheep[rebel],i love my family as well.....nobody is perfect and we must learned from mistakes.
    • Dum spiro, spero.
      • Translation: "As long as I breathe, I hope."

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by betheny
    Aw, Doug, we all do our best. Did you work your butt off, so they always had food and shelter? I bet you did. Did you love them? I bet you did.

    All we can do is try. At a certain point, all they can do is judge. My stepson has been in that stage for a while now. It sucks, when you did the best you knew how to do. I know you tried. Try now to not take this stage too personally.

    Here at Carecure, we love ya.
    Yeah Betheny, I always made sure they had food, and no-matter what made sure they always had a good christmas. just the things thats being told to me are true! I could have been so much better, could have done alot more things with them. I guess the reason it hurts so much is because I love them so much!!!! the youngest is 21 he's old enough to know what he's saying, and it is true. I was 19 when we got married, way to young! but you pay when you play so.........

  10. #10
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    Hindsight is 20/20

    There is not a perfect one among us ~ parents that is. And nobody can cut you to the core like your kids can.

    Mine are 22 and 24, and they still can make me feel like I'm soaring with the eagles, or like I'm the worst failure that was ever put on the earth.

    It's just something your kids can do, and it's because of what you said ~ you just love them so much.

    We could all have spent more time with them, did more things for/with them. Not yelled so much ~ whatever.

    I know how you feel. I look back and say to myself, geeze if I could only do it over again, I'd be so damn good at it this time. But you know what, we'd still make mistakes. We're only human. We get tired, mad, act immature, do things we regret.

    Cut yourself some slack. You may not have been the best, but I'm sure you weren't the worst. You were trying, and you love them, and that's what really counts. They know it too ~ but they also know how to push your buttons.


    Shelley

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