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Thread: Exsister-in-law question

  1. #1

    Exsister-in-law question

    I have a situation here that I would appreciate all of you info and opinions. My brother has just recently got a divorce and his wife still wants to rule the show. They have two kids together (6,10) and she keeps telling him that its against the law to leave them alone with me while he goes to the store just b/c I'm a quad in a wheelchair.

    Now my nephews from my previous marrige always stayed with me and we was fine. Plus, I feel it's ok b/c I have my emergency button in case I need the ambulance, police, and fire company. Also I have my neighbor next door who's my PCA and she checks on me all the time.

    What do you guys think about this situation?

  2. #2
    Senior Member GoTWHeeLs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Oklahoma City
    I watch my son all the time by myself and he's only 2 1/2. I dont think its a law, shes just being a bitch.
    Say what you mean and mean what you say because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind.

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  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    It certainly is not against the law! But be warned, she might try to get something in custodity agreement about it. Then it would be against the law.

  4. #4
    That's insane. I've had my kids every weekend by myself for over 4 years, since they were 3 and 5.

  5. #5
    Unfortunately there was a precident set in Florida not all that long ago. A quad woman got her child taken away because someone decided that being a quad, she couldn't take care of the baby, even though she wasn't living alone.

    Since you're not in Florida, though, it's probably not precidented or actually against the law - and she really is just being a bitch. Legality or no.

  6. #6
    I have my 2 kids now they are 7 and 12 but when my ex and me seperated they were 3 and 8. My kids are with me full time.

    Your nieces or nephews are at a age that they can do most things them selves she is just being a pain to put it nicely. anty
    Be always determined in Life and Love

  7. #7
    I'd stay out of the info loop with her. If your brother brings the kids by and they're with you, that's his choice and yours. You're not obligated to talk with your ex-sil. In fact, I'd advise against it.

    She may try to pump you for info which could be twisted and used in a custody battled. Just enjoy those children and limit any and all communication with her. Keep discussions about the children with your bro.

    I had a similar problem with my former m-i-l. This was pre-SCI, when I only had to deal with mild cerebral palsy. I picked up my toddler nephew when we were at a street fair, when the little boy reached for me. She began screeching I'd drop the baby. People began looking to see what the disturbance was. I ignored her, continued to hold my nephew and talk and laugh with him.

    Later, away from everyone else, I told her it wasn't her decision as to whether or not I held the boy. It was up to his parents. My nephew's parents had zero probs with me playing with and holding their son. That baby adored me and I him.

    Skip discussions with your ex-sil as to what is and isn't legal. Just skip all discussions with her.

    Enjoy your time with those children.

  8. #8
    Are they safe with you? (I have a feeling the answer is yes.) If I were you, I'd have a few rules. No kids unless I'm up and in my chair, mainly.

    I say this because I was at the gym with a friend and his daughter once. She was 3, I think he is c5. She is a well-behaved, adorable child that loves her daddy. It was so funny tho. When the therapist put ol' Josh on the mat, that kid squealed and said "Daddy! You can't get me now!" Of course she didn't do anything bad, was just letting him know that she realized she COULD.

    So no kids when you're in bed is fair. Anything beyond that is her being a bitch imo. I'd be glad they divorced if I was you, except it probably sucks for the kids.

  9. #9
    10 years old. He's almost old enough to watch the six-year-old.

  10. #10
    I don't talk to the sil. My brother lives with me and she asks the kids if he leaves them with me. Yeah she's one of them moms that tells her kids to come over here and boss my bro around. It doesn't happen though . He tells them like it is. The sil told my bro that she approved of one of his girlfriends beings she grew up down the street from her. But the sil went off and married a knucklehead 2 weeks after they got their divorce papers. She never asked if my brother approved of him. lol Even tho the knucklehead abused his exgirlfriend. And she knew it!

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