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Thread: Finding spark & passion in life

  1. #1
    Senior Member mk99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    toronto, canada

    Finding spark & passion in life

    I'm almost 7 years post injury. (T4 "complete").

    The first few years of my injury I was angry & depressed a lot of the time. The last 2 years or so, these feelings have died down a lot. The problem is that I have become somewhat numb and indifferent towards life.

    I used to live only for hope of a cure. Now I'm not sure what drives me. Other than working out, I'm not much into physical activity anymore... tried new things like learning guitar, swimming, etc. Again - OK but nothing more and I soon lost interest.

    I'm married and have 2 young kids who I love very much. Recently I went back to work because I needed something to do. I don't hate it, I don't love it... just like life in general - it's just "OK".

    Prior to injury I was so passionate and full of life. This is no longer true and I don't see anything on the horizon to make me excited about getting up in the morning. My wife is getting a bit fedup with my low grade apathy towards life.

    How can I find spark & passion in my life again? Sportbikes, snowboarding & orgasms no longer exist. Nothing else I've tried comes close to what life used to be and I don't much believe in a cure for my sci. (and never believed in God)
    "Oh yeah life goes on
    Long after the thrill of livin is gone"

    John Cougar Mellencamp

  2. #2
    Suspended Andy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Chicago IL
    Hey there fellow adreneline junkie. I kind of know the apathy thing you are talking about, I'm in the same boat. Seems like some weird limbo, eh? Kind of hard to get worked up about something if the body isnt cooperating. I dunno how to solve it short of a new spinal cord, or maybe this is part of becoming an 'adult' ? (in some twisted highly accelerated fashion).

    You mentioned bikes and boards. I dunno if this would help, but try careening downhill in a parking garage, that gave me a shot of adreneline once, kind of took me by surprise post SCI as it was so long since.

  3. #3
    T4 also, and 7 years post the week before last. This time round, it hit me quite hard - monday was the anniversary and then friday my birthday - the whole week weighed heavily and I couldn't seem to change it. I just rode through it, hoping it wouldn't last and now it is thankfully beginning to lift.
    I have no good answers - I imagine that your 2 kids do a lot to help lift you when you are down. Treasure them.
    One thing that I find inspiring is photography, particularly focusing in on the small things in life, the little miracles of nature all around or the details of our daily living. It helps to shift perpective, look at things differently and perhaps appreciate more all the things that are left, rather than what is missing.
    I hope you find some answers to bring you back to what you feel is more your 'old' self. Keeping looking is half the battle, so you're bound to get there soon.

  4. #4
    Senior Member KVP612's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    dead center
    Go skydiving..... I think it would be hardto keep that ho-hum apathy while hurtling towards the earth at high speed.
    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
    Winston Churchill

  5. #5
    how can snow skiing be out of the picture for a T4? look at this link and try all of these first.

    "if you have found that your life has become dull and boring, BECOME more interesting."

  6. #6
    Welcome back Mike. Sorry to hear that you're down.

  7. #7
    I bought some on eBay. Or I would if it was possible.

    Good to see you around. I always admired your drive, especially back when I posted as cjo and had a huge, angry, depressed chip on my shoulder.

  8. #8
    OMG, I didn't know you were CJO, welcome back dude!

  9. #9
    Hello, Seneca.

    I know the feeling, Mike. Friday, April 13 will be 6 years from when I had a really bad Friday the 13th.

  10. #10
    Suspended Andy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Chicago IL
    cjo...good to see you back!

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