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Thread: Is there a reason to stay alive

  1. #21
    Senior Member GoTWHeeLs's Avatar
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    Do you think the money your family would receive could actually replace you? No way...stick in there. Nursing home doesn't have to be an option, does it? Surely you have home healthcare in NC. Anyways...There's always options. Be strong for your family, The stronger you are the stronger they'll be.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Acarson
    -I am paralyzed from the shoulders down
    -I am in constant pain
    -I had a successful business
    - in six months my assets will be depleted
    -I will be sent to a nursing home
    -my wife and three children will be on their own
    -I have a large life insurance policy
    -it will take care of my family for many years
    - is there any reason for me to stay alive
    -thank you for your response
    Acarson,

    I think that you know my answer already but here they are again:

    1. Because your family loves you.
    2. Because you love them.
    3. Because they need you more than they need the insurance policy.
    4. Because you are not going to let the spinal cord injury beat you.
    5. Because you would like to see what happens.

    Wise.

  3. #23
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Quad
    Hurricanes tickets?!? We're trying to discourage suicide here.

    Black humour also helps.
    LOL! Yeah, unbelievable playing from the friggin' stanley cup champs. *sigh*

    So ya in or what? Call, email me - I've misplaced your number acarson.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  4. #24
    acarson,

    Another reason to hang on is that Dan, Ami, Chad, Small Boy, myself, and Daisy (among others) are all in NC, and you never know when we will do a NC Roll call, and you have to answer!

    Seriously, though...one of these days we are all gonna plan to meet somehow...somewhere...and so you are already surrounded by friends that care and a family who loves you.

    Better days are around the corner...we just don't know WHICH corner yet...it could be THIS corner...but you have to stay and go around the corner...

    Praying for you,

    Teena

  5. #25
    I've been a vent dependent quad for nearly 90% of my life. There are always challenges, battles and tough days, just as any AB. Give it time, there are many options to explore and do. With your background as an attorney, you can definately continue to work. Take it slow at first, but a new routine will come and work out. As has been said, your family still wants you to be there as well.
    C2/3 quad since February 20, 1985.

  6. #26
    I'll throw a shekel your way and say that I empathize with your yearning to let go of a life ravaged by spinal cord injury. Life is difficult enough without severe limitations and routines just to do the most basic necessities of life. Human beings weren't designed to live with a spinal cord injury and we're surrounded by able-bodied normally functioning people; depression and even despair are completely understandable.

    Try to hang on to hope that medicine will indeed make life better for you in the future.

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Acarson
    -I am paralyzed from the shoulders down
    -I am in constant pain
    -I had a successful business
    - in six months my assets will be depleted
    -I will be sent to a nursing home
    -my wife and three children will be on their own
    -I have a large life insurance policy
    -it will take care of my family for many years
    - is there any reason for me to stay alive
    -thank you for your response
    The fact that you are now SCI'ed did not alter the fact that your knowledge of the law is great. You are the same successful attorney. There are many reasons for you to remain with us but one of the most important ones of all is this ..
    You can fight for yourself and all of us in the fight against remaining in these wheelchairs. Yes, you are the answer to getting to where we can get the care and most of all the right to have research advanced for us. US means you and others like you. I don't know much about the law and am sure many here don't either. But you do. Now it is up to you to use that blessed knowlegde to our advantage. I know you have been blessed with it and can use it for good. Now it is up to you to push forward. You can do it. Don't give up .. there are more things to do and to make happen. This is one good reason to keep on going.

    Raven

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Timaru
    All of the above, plus....

    ...CURIOSITY!
    Hi Acarson,

    If I had to answer this question with one word, CURIOSITY would be it. Timaru is a bloody smart mate from across the pond. Like him, I wanna know what's going to happen tomorrow and next week etc and if I were dead I'd be outta the loop.

    I get kinda bored at times (I live alone... well with my dog) and become envious of all those healthy competitive golfers playing on those perfectly manicured courses I watch so often on TV. Fuckin' Golf Channel. And all the walking crowds in the background that look so happy. It especially bad on the weekends when it's broadcast in 1080i Hi-Def. But so be it.

    I think if you can get your pain under control without using narcotics you'll be on your way to a happier life. Have you tried Neurontin (gabapentin) and the other drugs in that class to get your pain under control? You may need a quite high dosage. I take 2000mgs a day (5 x 400mgs) of gabapentin and to my surprise it has taken away all of my neuropathic pain. Most of the time.

    Find a good SCI pain doctor and try to stay off the narcotics if you can as they are permanent Merry-Go-Round of ever increasing dosages. But if you must, use whatever drug or drugs that takes your pain away but try not to abuse them.

    Hanging around for your family is a good idea too.

    On CourtTV I once saw a defense lawyer who tried to kill himself with a shotgun. But he ended up just blowing his whole face off leaving him with a horrendous facial deformity that surely isn't a picnic to live with. Especially when you have a career that makes it necessary to "face" the public everyday. I believe he became an attorney after he deformed himself... it must have awoken something in him. I don't know the whole story of his life but it takes balls to do what he does. I'm sure he gets more stares than a person in a wheelchair.

    Get your pain under control and you'll probably develop a better outlook on things. And as many have already mentioned, time is a great "healer".

    Hang in there Acarson. At least give it another year and then lets talk about it again.

    Excuse while I put my thrice washed and bleached sheets in the dryer. Grrrr....

    Bob.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  9. #29
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Van Quad
    But primarily you've got to hang in there for the kids. Insurance money doesn't replace dad. Wives come and go, but how you handle your disability can be your kids greatest life lesson.
    I couldn't have said this better ... best advice given.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  10. #30
    Hi Acarson,

    I recognized you from your very handsome picture on Apparelyzed. I'm sure that your wife must see that same very handsome man wheelchair or not. I for one think that she's a very lucky lady!

    I'm just a few years older than you, born in 1950, and I like you can't believe that I'm going to live what's left of my life in this chair. I can't believe that I can't run out on a hot summer night and jump in my cherry, red and white '69 Ford pick-up truck and go for a midnight ride and listen to music whenever I feel like it. Yeah, I know that's the least of my worries but I had a whole lot of living to do with my life basically 2/3 over.

    I didn't have an accident, nothing and nobody to blame it on. Mine was a malformation of blood vessles on my spine and maybe had I seen a doctor sooner they would have found it but then who knows how that would have turned out. I could have suffered more damage from another surgeon than I did from the actual problem and the way that it happened.

    I didn't have much when this happened but it was all mine. I had my own home that I worked in a factory for 25 years to pay for. I had to give it up and come live with my mother when this happened because it was too small for my wheelchair and medical equipment etc. I had gotten out of that dismal factory and had my own small business for 2 years which I lost when this happened.

    I know one thing for sure and that's nothing stays the same. Things won't always be the way that they are today. Who really knows for sure what 6 months or a year will bring, how circumstances will change or what answers might come and what problems will be solved.

    Suicide is selfish and so cruel to those who love you. Do you think that the big insurance policy would make them happy in the midst of the pain of losing you? I don't think that anyone in your family would want to hit that lottery.

    Get yourself to a good pain management clinic and get some real help so you will feel better. When you feel better physically you feel better mentally. Pain is demoralizing and we certainly need that.

    Take heart and a huge leap of faith and just wait on tomorrow.......

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