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Thread: someone to talk to who understands....

  1. #11
    yeah I think that you are exactly right. But he causes stress about our bills and his wife, Micheal's step-mom. I don't think there are any financial problems, unless they come from her stress.....its just a hard situation. I think his son has always come first over second wives and hopefully this will continue.
    I know my injury was killer on my dad. My mom stayed beside me in the hospital the entire time and through therapy etc. She would probably really like to talk to you. now of course she is here for her son in law also.

  2. #12
    Senior Member
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    Jen...

    Welcome! My hubby is about 2 years out from injury (T11 complete) and he was pretty angry too but he's better now. We are happy you are here! There are alot of wonderful people here and they have alot of knowledge to share. Please keep coming back!

    Love, Sieg

  3. #13
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    I'm so glad you found us 99 .... all I can offer is support cause I'm way up north here on the prairie in Canada but I know you will get lots of help from the others closer by who are familiar with how things work in your neck of the woods !
    If you read through this forum you will find many threads that I'm sure you will find useful ...... visit often ... we have ice cream and a pipe and we've been known to share both !

    Obieone
    ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


    " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
    Jane Siberry

  4. #14
    Sounds like it is time (overdue) for a family meeting. Helping with money is great but as you know, that may not be enough. Being close to family is great but not as signficant as getting help, esp. if they are not helping much anyway. They can pay the bills long distance too. See if your pastor or other family friend would help moderate a family meeting. Insist that everyone come. Lay out what his care involves, and tell them you need help. They, and he needs to know that if you burn out and go up in flames (health problems, for example) he may have to go to a nursing home.

    Divorce is so common after SCI, and it can happen due to burnout. Don't pretend that this won't make a difference, or that you will hang in there "no matter what". Everyone is going to have to do their part. That includes him, you, AND his family.

    (KLD)

  5. #15
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    Even tho I really appreciate all of the great knowledge and advise that KLD offers here every day, I am here to say that a mother can be the only caregiver and survive very nicely. I am hanging in there "no matter what" and it is 5 years post injury. I think it is great that you have your mom to help you. My son's great attitude and kindness to me dispite all the pain he is in is one of the keys to my being able to do this job.
    "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner"

  6. #16
    Hang in there sweetie. My wife was injured in may 06, c 5 & 6 incomplete and I was with her 24/7 until last Feb. Thats when I finally let her get home health care. Her therapist told me that I might be hindering her rehab because I would try to do everything for her. Things will get better. Remember your little one needs you to be sane. Also talk with his Dr about this, meds might work. Hang in there.

  7. #17
    Senior Member reedyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 99ss00ws6
    yeah I think that you are exactly right. But he causes stress about our bills and his wife, Micheal's step-mom. I don't think there are any financial problems, unless they come from her stress.....its just a hard situation. I think his son has always come first over second wives and hopefully this will continue.
    I know my injury was killer on my dad. My mom stayed beside me in the hospital the entire time and through therapy etc. She would probably really like to talk to you. now of course she is here for her son in law also.
    You recovered your SCI and he did not. I can see where he might feel like maybe he did not try as hard to recover or any number of things. The ego can be very fragile. You have said you know he will recover. What if he does not? That is a lot of pressure to be under.
    i have seen people just give up instead of facing the reality of paralysis from SCI.
    it is hard sometimes to see past our own all consuming pain.
    much less see or understand anothers
    i think your man is a lot luckier than he knows


    just some thoughts you might consider

    good luck

  8. #18
    i'm really sorry you have to deal with such situation , but i do admire you for your strenght and the fact you recovered from your injury

    i am a C5-4 and i know all the hassles that quads have to go through. it's hard for me and for the people who take care of me , my friends who i live with.

    hang in there and good luck

    hugs, lola
    Last edited by Lola_wheelie; 03-25-2007 at 06:30 PM.

  9. #19
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    We understand, welcome to the sanctuary... more later, too tired to type anymore (I bet you understand that too!) -- Ami
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  10. #20
    Thanks everyone.

    and Reed YD.....Yes I know for a fact that he will recover, i cannot tell you when or exactly how but he will. His hands, his legs they will all work maybe not as strong as before but he will walk and hold me again and do everything like before. I know this because I have been there. Unless the cord is cut and is 'complete' which he is not, he will do it.

    God put me with him for a reason. My left hand is a daily reminder of my injury and it will never work correctly again. I believe this is God's sign to me not to forget, kind of like the rainbow......anyway, he will do it. When he does we are going to help as many people as possible to do the same.....to everyone, PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

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