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Thread: New thread: how to be smart as caregivers

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by BeeBee
    Allow the person being cared for as much independence as possible. Don't do things for them they can do themselves, even if its easier for you to do it.
    I wanted to double emphasize this. I don't care if they don't want to do it, or it takes a long time, or it's hard. If they're not children (or brain-injured), adults should be treated like adults.

    If they have nothing else to do all day, and it takes 3 hours for them to dress themselves, let them. Nothing but good will come from a day spent that way.

    I firmly believe any injury over c5 can fold kitchen towels and washcloths, usually bath towels too. I also firmly believe it is good for the fingers and the self-esteem to do so.

  2. #12
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    hang out with people who don't feel sorry for you. nothing kills the spirit like pity, and nothing lifts it up like respect. (cc is a great place for this!)

  3. #13
    Senior Member taj2002's Avatar
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    Early in my husband’s injury, I felt like I literally had no life. My entire life was all about his life and 100% consumed with SCI. That is all I thought about. My new strategy is to pretend I’m not a caregiver sometimes. I go to work 3 days a week with colleagues that I have known for 16 years. When I’m at work, I block out my job at home. Yes my colleagues know that my husband is paralyzed, but they have no idea what that means for me. I have come to work after changing a cath, cleaning a gallon of urine off the floor, or doing the bowel program. Nobody has a clue. Sometime I snicker to myself when I walk into my office; if my colleagues only knew what I was doing an hour ago. It’s kind of wacky, but it makes me feel like me again. I never really talk about the caregiving stuff at work. It’s my time to forget about my real job which is the one at home.

    Trish

  4. #14
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    What I'm figuring out (yes, I'm slow) is that ... my coping method is to complain!

    It really really really really helps me to yelp and gripe and complain and have someone who knows what it is like to just say "yeah man, that soooooooooo sux. yeah. whoa. it super super sux. (optional insertion of equally godawful story of their own here)". Then I can say, "yeah, SUX TO BE ME" and then I'm over it. And fairly soon after, I laugh at the absurdity of whatever it was, like the odds of giving myself a massive concussion from merely standing up.


    -- Ami, a whiner to be reckoned with!! and who is posting her (apparently fairly unique) style of how to be smart as a caregiver
    Last edited by zillazangel; 01-13-2007 at 01:36 PM.

  5. #15
    You just don't really "uderstand", until you meet Ami. or hang out.

    LOL

  6. #16
    Senior Member
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    Ami...

    That is so real... and Trish.... Yep... that was me.... I took 2 weeks off from work when Don was injured and then went back to work... I'm lucky... I can pretty much set my hours... but at first, I felt like the world was closing in on me.... now it will be 2 years out from injury in May and I find that I can cope better. But... I know that if I did not have this group to come to... I WOULD GO INSANE!

    Sieg

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by kate
    hang out with people who don't feel sorry for you. nothing kills the spirit like pity, and nothing lifts it up like respect. (cc is a great place for this!)
    This is such good advice. I am still amazed by how effortlessly my good friends make me feel comfortable.
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by kate
    hang out with people who don't feel sorry for you. nothing kills the spirit like pity, and nothing lifts it up like respect. (cc is a great place for this!)
    Perfect. Pity swiftly kills. I avoid people who want to heap it upon me like the farking plague.

    It's all about r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

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