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Thread: Anybody just have a series of really shitty days ...

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  1. #1
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Anybody just have a series of really shitty days ...

    This is mostly totally off topic of SCI caregiving, and is self indulgent whining, but I'll start with the SCI part at least.

    Our PCA is fantastic, been with us about 3 months now. But she's been on Xmas break for about 2 weeks, one more week to go. Going back to doing 100% of everything has been a hard adjustment, which then in turn makea me feel incompetent, guilty, overworked, etc etc ....

    We just had to practically rob a bank to pay for Chad's $42K wheelchair. We even had to ask people that I would normally never ever ask and it was utterly and totally humiliating to my pride. Now se are in hock so deeply that I see utterly no hope for digging out of this. It scares me so badly. Our insurance? Pfffftttt. A total joke and so massively frustrating that I feel like just giving up for the sake of my mental health and blood pressure.

    I have a friend who is probably going to die within 3 moths. She is a dear dear friend and she has a son exactly my son's age and a younger one. She is 6 years younger than me. Very bad, no hope type, metastatic breast cancer. I am bracing myself for the worst very soon, but how can I? The thought of going to her funeral literally makes me ill. I have thrown up over this several times in the last few days after she got her most recent report which showed that it GOT massively worse, worse than anyone ever expected. Even the oncologist was surprised.

    WM's husband has been injured ... I am so worried and scared for them. I had a TBI recently and it was very minor compared to most, so I know what may be in store for him/them.

    I just watched a really really really depressing episode of a television show. Now I'm sobbing. The issue on the show hit way, way too close to home and I can't stop thinking about it.

    Another poster was horrible to me in another forum. Granted, I swatted at him first and shouldn't have, but I cried when I read the response back. I need to just stay out of those fights (aforementioned poster who knows who he is probably, please, this is NOT a further insult to you, I am NOT looking to fight further, I am just hurting badly magnified by all the other total shit in my life). So then, I do suppose I post drivel.

    I am sitting here crying.

    Anybody can to hand over a tissue?

    I am totally losing it here.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  2. #2
    aw. that sucks, ami.
    Daniel

  3. #3
    Senior Member Aly's Avatar
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    Hang in there, and vent anytime you need. I am a firm believer that, that helps.

    I would give you one of my tissues but I have a nasty cold, doubt you want my nasty snot.
    www.cawvsports.org
    The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Don Juan Matus
    We are Virginia Tech… We must laugh again… No one deserves a tragedy… We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid…We are better than we think and not quit what we want to be…We are the Hokies…We will prevail, we will prevail, we will prevail. We ARE Virginia Tech! ~ Nikki Giovanni

  4. #4
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dan_nc
    aw. that sucks, ami.
    You were such a bright spot in my day. Thanks.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by zillazangel
    You were such a bright spot in my day. Thanks.
    any time, ami.
    Daniel

  6. #6
    Some people have one of those days. I've had one of those lives.

    I bet a lot of us can feel that way. Sorry you're having a rough time, Ami. If you ever want to vent, feel free.
    Daniel

  7. #7
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    Ami....honey child... I have big box of tissues right here.... Being a breast cancer survivor myself... I just know how fortunate I am to have survived. Cancer sucks! It's only people in my life who have money that tell me that money is not important...ha!
    Be kind to yourself Ami... we LOVE you! and I love that this caregiver forum is here for us to be able to come here and vent!

    Love to you, Chad and of course small boy... and I know you guys will be RREALLY happy to see your PCA!!

    Love, Sieg

  8. #8
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Thank you sieg, i know you really understand. ((thanks))
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  9. #9
    Senior Member Myc0's Avatar
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    I'm having a series of really shitty years, but this isn't about me. (note to self: stay on topic)

    I hear ya, sometimes the shit just keeps piling up 'til your buried in it. Problems have a way of feeding on pain and multiplying out of control. I've found that the upside to hitting bottom is you have nowhere to go but up. Hang in there, and vent as needed. We all feel like this sometimes, and you just have to do whatever you have to do to get yourself through and out of it.
    De Omnibus Dubitandum

  10. #10
    Ami...

    I promise you WILL get through all this.... Even if I have to come down there and make you do lunch with me...LOL...

    (someday we WILL do lunch...)...

    Anyhow...

    I have been through enough ruff times in my life to realize that ruff times are not forever...

    Know there will be better times...

    Know as MycO said..."crap occurs"

    ^^^ Nice way to say S*$% Happens...LOL

    (you BETTER be smiling!!!)...

    Take care, God bless! Go hug your family...it's almost 2007! A new year, a new start...

    Love ya'll!

    Teena

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