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Thread: Questions on getting married

  1. #1

    Questions on getting married

    I'm a 36 year old C5-6 from Louisiana. I've never been married before, but have the opportunity to with a wonderful woman. It seems like the government can take away my SSI & Medicaid if we do though. I know there are SCI's who are married. How do you do this & still get government assistance, or can you? It doesn't seem right for the system to take away what I have simply because I'd be married. I live with my parents now & they make much more & have more assets than I would if I were married, including my spouse-to-be's income & assets. Any help will be greatly appreciated. I'm in over my head on these government subjects. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Senior Member KLD's Avatar
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    Yes, unfortunately your spouse's income and assets are combined with yours after marriage for figuring your income and eligiblity for any needs-based programs. It is a real problem. As an adult child, even as a dependent, your parent's income does not impact your eligibility. Unfair? Certainly. Unsolvable? Not necessarily.

    Most people solve this by simply living together. If you have moral or religious issues with this, you might want to speak to your pastor or minister. In my state, it is possible to get a religious marriage that is not registered and does not require a license. This does not give your spouse legal rights, but also is not legally recorded so that their income and assets count against yours.

  3. #3
    I may have a problem with living together & not being married. I'd much rather be married. These are just my feelings. I'd never find fault with anybody who chooses another way. How can I find out about religous marriages? I'd be interested in that. Thanks!

  4. #4
    Senior Member KLD's Avatar
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    Talk to your pastor or minister. It is not possible in all states, but you should at least explore it with your spiritual advisor.

  5. #5
    don't let money get in the way of love. if indeed it is a spiritual issue, i understand... i'm a Christian and a firm believer in marriage (although i'm not yet married).

    regardless, of all things, focus on the relationship first.

    (edit: snip)

    if you're interested in discussing this further, email me @ scott@sixteeneleven.com. usually if anything religious gets brought up on these threads, people just get annoyed and give up trying to discuss things in a civil fashion.

    (edit: snip)

    [This message was edited by jmublueduck on 04-01-03 at 11:30 PM.]

  6. #6
    Senior Member martha's Avatar
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    Scott, I think KLD was advocating talking to a spiritual leader to see if a religious marriage is possible in his area without the legal filings. It sounds like the perfect solution! Good luck!

  7. #7
    yeah I got that after the fact... no hard feelings... sorry about this misunderstanding.

  8. #8
    We're in a similar situation. My fiance is c4 sci and i'm ab. We're getting 'married' this year under the eyes of god and in front of our families and friends. Plus saving the $40 for the marriage license! since technically we are not getting married in the eyes of the state/government. That way your 'spouse' is still able to recieve benefits - we're planning on setting up legal documents for heirs and one another that will cover our situation legally- just have to get the atty and file the paperwork. We had a hard time deciding how to do this too but when it came down to it we really didn't care what the government recognized as a 'legal' marriage... because the people we want and love will be the ones supporting us and will recognize our new life together.
    Hope that helps.

  9. #9
    As a non religous person, I dont understand the mindset on this. I'm NOT trying to put anyone down, but how do you reconcile calling yourselves married 'in the eyes of God' while doing it this way specifically to cheat the government? What I'm hearing is that you want all the benefits of a legal marriage without any of the burdens. 'In sickness and in health...' I'd never leave him/her because of illness/injury. 'For richer, for poorer' Well, we dont want to be poor, so we just wont register our 'marriage'. Or do you just not include the 'for richer or poorer' phrase in your ceremonies?
    It just irritates me when I hear of people cheating me, because those are my tax dollars you're using. I work 2 jobs, 7 days a week, in part to offset some of the costs of living for my bf. Otherwise, I'd have quit the weekend job a long time ago. Do you do the same?

  10. #10

    Lass

    I was wondering the exact same thing. Funny isn't it?

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