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Thread: Suicidal thoughts VS. Thoughts of Suicide

  1. #1
    Senior Member medic1's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    New London, WI USA

    Question Suicidal thoughts VS. Thoughts of Suicide

    Is there a difference between these two? I am wondering if there is difference between these two thoughts. I don't consider myself suicidal nor do I think I ever have been. I do wonder sometimes of if I did do it how could I do it. Not that I have ever planned it or anything. But I have thought about the different ways in which one may attempt to do it. Are these the same thing? Every time my therapist asks if I have had thoughts of suicide I answer no, should I be answering yes?

    Am I even Making sense?

  2. #2
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    If it makes you feel any better, most normal people do have thoughts of suicide at one time or another. I think it's pretty natural.

    I remember one of the staff sergeants here (cop shoppe) talking about going to a mental health conference - all top brass - and a staggering number of them had reported feeling suicidal at one point in time. These are people who don't even deal with their body betraying them (as I like to put it). These are physically healthy, financially well-off people.

    I always maintain that it's okay to 'swim in the vicinity' but don't play with the sharks ... it's pretty darn final!

    I've told this story before - but I remember coming home from the hospital at 12yrs old and waiting until everyone had gone to bed - upstairs. I could no longer reach my bedroom upstairs in that old country home so I slept on a bed in the dining room. I got out of bed in the middle of the night and held a shot gun in my mouth for a few minutes to see what it would be like. I was afraid of the mess my parents would have to clean up so I didn't do anything - even though I knew how to load it and operate it. If a 12yr old newly paralyzed kid who felt so alone can find hope - I hope you can too. I'm ecstatic that I'm still here.

    It may be cliche but everybody cares about somebody. You are connected.

    ETA, after re-reading your post I guess I really didn't answer your question but I stand - errr sit by what I've said. I still think it's normal to entertain these thoughts - but not continually - and not to the point that it consumes everday thought and you can't see anything else.
    Last edited by lynnifer; 12-17-2006 at 07:24 PM.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Indeed, there is a difference. I think about suicide, yet I don't consider myself suicidal. Should the day come when I face a slow, painful, miserable death, I'll take my own life. I have a closet full of pills. I'm not afraid of death. It's our destiny, from the time we are born. To me, being suicidal means feeling in the depths of despair. That's not me.

  4. #4
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
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    Jul 2001
    Baltimore, MD
    I think about suicide, but a) I'm really not ready to take that step, and b) I haven't figured out a way to do it yet (blasted lack of hand and finger function.)

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  5. #5
    Senior Member justadildo's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    rocky mountain high
    ....what so-fla said....

  6. #6
    Some days I'm only here because of my kids. Other days I am happy to be alive. But I was like this prior to my injury so.... Wonder what will happen when they are grown. Of course I always thought I'd jump so at least I can't climb all that high anymore.
    I don't want to do it but I think about it. Maybe that happens to most.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  7. #7
    If you were ever to do it, take out a $1,000,000 life insurance policy first and wait a year or two. They aren't that expensive. Butja might wanna check out the suicide clause just in case. Might be a 2 year wait for that to go into effect. And take a nice long drive without your seatbelt on and when the Interstate looks good and deserted at 4:00AM speed up to about 80MPH and just aim for the center of a concrete bridge abutment. Another falling asleep at the wheel accident. That way you leave your friends and family a little going away/burial money. I think about suicide every day.... well, maybe every other day. I'm kinda forgetful.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  8. #8
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    North Carolina, USA
    suicidal thoughts .... just running it around in your head

    suicidal ideation ... you have a definite plan

    That's how I think about it anyway, from someone who has BTDT
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  9. #9
    the suicidal thoughts don't bother me but what about homicidal............
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  10. #10
    Banned adi chicago's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    near dracula castle
    i think only about is a nice
    • Dum spiro, spero.
      • Translation: "As long as I breathe, I hope."

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