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Thread: Can you really blame a Quad for committing Suicide?

  1. #11
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    There's a theory that para's are more isolated. Most do their own care ... so there are not PCA's or nurses around. If they can't afford a vehicle and don't have a job, I could see (and have seen) where they hardly go anywhere ... the job rate for those suffering paralysis is low to begin with.

    As I get older and my shoulder goes, I get heavier (fat cow, shut up peanut gallery lol) and I run into more health issues (pressure sores, infections, metabolic disorders, endometriosis) ... I can easily see where someone would want to end it. It's like watching yourself slowly lose everything. It's like here ya go, you're independent you lucky dog ... then 25-30yrs down the line, psych - you can't get out of bed even!

    Not saying that's the case with everyone ... but it's been mentioned before on CC.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myc0
    I did that, I said I'd give it a year and if things had not significantly improved I would call it quits. Well, I guess this is what I get for not keeping my promise.
    Right!

    And did I mention:


    Well, I got bones beneath my skin, and mister,
    There's a skeleton in every man's house.
    Beneath the dust, and love, and sweat that hang on
    everybody
    There's a dead man tryin' to get out.
    So please help me stay awake, I'm fallin'...


    http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.n...2568B10027BB7D


    Steve
    "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
    J.B.S.Haldane

  3. #13
    Suspended Andy's Avatar
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    If it wasnt for what it would do to my dad I would have made a graceful exit long ago, as far as I'm concerned my life ended 4 years ago and this is some cruel joke. But this ray of sunshine para is not really the right person to talk to right now about this, YMMV.

  4. #14
    This will be my second post about a movie. Maybe I watch too many?? LOL

    Anyway....over the past 17yrs, I've thought about suicide plenty. I don't think of it nearly as much now than when I was first injured.
    A few times I had even planned it down to a "T". Then a quote from the 80's movie "Better Off Dead" with John Cusak comes to mind. He's depressed because his girlfriend broke up with him and he's about to hang himself. As he's about go through with it he reconsiders and says, "Wait a minute, this is Death here!"
    I have felt that way. As bad as things can be here, death just seems scarier still.
    Shannon
    C6/7 incomplete
    20 yrs post sci

    "falling is easy it's getting back up that becomes the problem, becomes the problem" Staind
    "A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.:" :-)
    - Burt Bacharach

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by antiquity
    Actually, I believe paras are more likely to commit suicide than quads. I'm a 25+ post quad and have never wanted to kill myself because of it.
    Quote Originally Posted by SuzyQisforquad
    I am curious why you would think that. They times I have felt most like ending my life were as a result of the isolation that comes with being a quad - the isolation was caused by my complete lack of independance.
    Think which one, that paras are more likely to commit suicide? That's true, not an opinion. There's a study somewhere, think it was posted here, to back that.

    As for not wanting to die, been close too close to death too many times to ever embrace/view it as an appealing option. It scares the bejezus out of me.
    Last edited by antiquity; 12-11-2006 at 02:48 AM.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Myc0's Avatar
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    What's so scary about death? Life is pain, death is the way out of our flesh prisons.
    De Omnibus Dubitandum

  7. #17
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    Cool One-Way Ticket

    Quote Originally Posted by Myc0
    What's so scary about death? Life is pain, death is the way out of our flesh prisons.
    Well, it does go on for an awful long time. It isn't like anyone having taken that out gets to reconsider somewhere along the line.

    Juke
    "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
    J.B.S.Haldane

  8. #18

    Suicide

    I don't "blame" anybody for committing suicide, and think that if anyone has a good reason to want to die, we do.

    Generally, people's views on suicide are pretty superficial, and this is not surprising considering how many of our delusional beliefs about the world are motivated by an inability to deal with the fact of death.

    "Courage" and "strength", for instance, really have little to do with it, and those who say suicide is "weak" or "cowardly" don't really have much depth. What is going on is that the person sees no REASON to be strong or courageous.

    If I put a pitcher of dumpster juice in front of you and say, "Drink up old boy!" You will likely decline, and if I call you a weakling coward you will probably laugh and say that I am missing the point.

    And the point is that, barring outside incentives, nobody really has any reason to muster whatever it takes to drink dumpster juice. Similarly, if one cannot see any real reason to live as a quad, questions of strength and courage become moot.

    I don't really want this life, but suicide takes a lot of nerve and I haven't been able to do it. Call me a coward if you like. If a person says, "This life is not good enough for me." and decides to commit suicide, I have no problem with that, and actually have respect for their resolve and self-respect.

    People disagree, of course, but in my eyes death is simply annihilation. Therefore, we can either be annihilated now, or years from now. The question is whether our lives are worth living. That is, if the positive things justify all the frustration, heartbreak, and pain. I don't think one can make a definitive claim on this- it's a gamble.

    How good of a gamble is it? In my own case, I'd say it's not so good, and I have access to every resource I could possibly want. It's also a question of standards. What kind of existence is good enough for you? I honestly do not see how I could ever be happy with being in a wheelchair, but that's just me.

    It's the accepted way to consider living the winning choice. People call themselves "survivors" but that's usually just self-flattery. For my own part, I say if you have given it long thought, are completely miserable, and do not see any possible way to ever be happy, go ahead and kill yourself. Then again, if you see a way to live a triumphant life, and have the drive and desire to pursue it, by all means- do it. Your life is yours, and in the end you simply do what you want. You have the power, and the final say. Clayton

  9. #19

    Error

    Error
    Last edited by Ozymandias; 12-11-2006 at 04:05 AM.

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Ozymandias
    I don't "blame" anybody for committing suicide, and think that if anyone has a good reason to want to die, we do.

    Generally, people's views on suicide are pretty superficial, and this is not surprising considering how many of our delusional beliefs about the world are motivated by an inability to deal with the fact of death.

    "Courage" and "strength", for instance, really have little to do with it, and those who say suicide is "weak" or "cowardly" don't really have much depth. What is going on is that the person sees no REASON to be strong or courageous.

    If I put a pitcher of dumpster juice in front of you and say, "Drink up old boy!" You will likely decline, and if I call you a weakling coward you will probably laugh and say that I am missing the point.

    And the point is that, barring outside incentives, nobody really has any reason to muster whatever it takes to drink dumpster juice. Similarly, if one cannot see any real reason to live as a quad, questions of strength and courage become moot.

    I don't really want this life, but suicide takes a lot of nerve and I haven't been able to do it. Call me a coward if you like. If a person says, "This life is not good enough for me." and decides to commit suicide, I have no problem with that, and actually have respect for their resolve and self-respect.

    People disagree, of course, but in my eyes death is simply annihilation. Therefore, we can either be annihilated now, or years from now. The question is whether our lives are worth living. That is, if the positive things justify all the frustration, heartbreak, and pain. I don't think one can make a definitive claim on this- it's a gamble.

    How good of a gamble is it? In my own case, I'd say it's not so good, and I have access to every resource I could possibly want. It's also a question of standards. What kind of existence is good enough for you? I honestly do not see how I could ever be happy with being in a wheelchair, but that's just me.

    It's the accepted way to consider living the winning choice. People call themselves "survivors" but that's usually just self-flattery. For my own part, I say if you have given it long thought, are completely miserable, and do not see any possible way to ever be happy, go ahead and kill yourself. Then again, if you see a way to live a triumphant life, and have the drive and desire to pursue it, by all means- do it. Your life is yours, and in the end you simply do what you want. You have the power, and the final say. Clayton
    Good points Ozy. Calling someone "weak" is often an ego response when thinking he/she knows all the details. Even if two people undergo the same hardship, neither is it perceived, nor is the damaged sustained, the same.

    J.
    And the truth shall set you free.

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