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Thread: Murderball: John Mayer says...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Scorpion's Avatar
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    Murderball: John Mayer says...

    Singer-songwriter John Mayer said on Oprah that he realized he didn't need a $100,000 "death machine" (a car he bought once successful) after seeing the film Murderball. He then said that watching the film made him want to "live like it's before the accident." I like that line. I wish I'd lived like it was "before the accident" before the accident...but I digress.

    I doubt, if asked if he thinks there should be a cure for SCI, that he would say, "I saw Murderball, and being paralyzed doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I don't think those guys want to be cured"

    This is just another example to me that shows no matter how many Mark Zupans or John Hockenberry's there are who basically say they're "okay" with being paralyzed, and no matter how many of us might smile and strive to live a full life despite our SCIs (and succeed?) without telling everyone all about all the horrors of SCI (bowel/bladder issues, sex issues, etc, etc), most people who are AB will never see SCI/paralysis as something that's "no big deal"...even if they have no clue as to how hard life with SCI/paralysis can be.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpion
    Singer-songwriter John Mayer said on Oprah that he realized he didn't need a $100,000 "death machine" (a car he bought once successful) after seeing the film Murderball. He then said that watching the film made him want to "live like it's before the accident." I like that line. I wish I'd lived like it was "before the accident" before the accident...but I digress.

    I doubt, if asked if he thinks there should be a cure for SCI, that he would say, "I saw Murderball, and being paralyzed doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I don't think those guys want to be cured"

    This is just another example to me that shows no matter how many Mark Zupans or John Hockenberry's there are who basically say they're "okay" with being paralyzed, and no matter how many of us might smile and strive to live a full life despite our SCIs (and succeed?) without telling everyone all about all the horrors of SCI (bowel/bladder issues, sex issues, etc, etc), most people who are AB will never see SCI/paralysis as something that's "no big deal"...even if they have no clue as to how hard life with SCI/paralysis can be.

    Thoughts?
    good post.

    I argued this point with Tiger Racing in another thread. I think most
    AB's associate paralysis with Christopher Reeve more than anyone
    else and there is no way that you could look at him after his accident and
    doubt how horrible sci can be.
    Last edited by Buck503; 11-17-2006 at 12:24 AM.

  3. #3
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    A few of my co-workers have told me that if they had to live like Christopher Reeve, they would choose to die.

    If they had to be like me (just a para - lol), they would stay around for their wives/children/families.

    Interesting.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpion
    and no matter how many of us might smile and strive to live a full life despite our SCIs (and succeed?) without telling everyone all about all the horrors of SCI (bowel/bladder issues, sex issues, etc, etc), most people who are AB will never see SCI/paralysis as something that's "no big deal"...even if they have no clue as to how hard life with SCI/paralysis can be.

    Thoughts?
    Scorpion,
    I don't have to deal with any of the complications and Hardships that most SCIs have to. I have a right arm/shoulder/lung/partial hand paralysis, and this in itself is more than a care to handle. I am amazed at how much I am continually learning that SCIs have to deal with, and the very odd fact that the general public (including me), don't have even the slightest clue or true insight in to the day to day struggles and dealings.

    I understand that there might be a history of hiding some of the detailed challenges, as to not draw attention to it, when the world & science wasn't at a place where it couldn't come up with a cure. Why ostracize the community further by revealing things that might frighten the insecure. But now, in this day and age of growing worldwide acceptance, I believe it hurts the SCI community by not revealing every single hard and very personal struggle, to help motivate the masses. I'm surprised Christopher Reeves didn't go down this road.

    Anyway, I'm curious to hear your opinion, or anyone else's, for that matter, on this subject. I was an actor before my injury, now I'm going back to school for directing, and all I can think about for the past year is how valuable and inspiring a good documentary film could be on the issues at hand. Stem cells and all the different people, their maladies, and their very personal lives, that are 'dying' for a cure. To paint a real picture of the daily sufferings, struggles, complications, and massive life changes that come with this kind of injury or any number of other diseases. Not to create a pity party, but to show the simple honest truth, which I think has a great nobility of spirit about it.

    It's late, gotta sleep, will check back later. I hope I haven't over stepped any boundaries, I'm empathetically curious.

    Christopher

  5. #5
    The biggest thing that I have against those guys is that they could be more vocal on a cure. Zupan is quoted to saying ''this is the best thing to happen to me''. Not to me.. i had a great life before. Not to say i don't now. I would love to know how many quad rugby guys would agree with him..? Even if he's happy, he should think about the big picture for a change. He's in the limelight and his 15 minutes will run out soon.





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  6. #6
    Senior Member Zeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpion
    Singer-songwriter John Mayer said on Oprah that he realized he didn't need a $100,000 "death machine" (a car he bought once successful) after seeing the film Murderball. He then said that watching the film made him want to "live like it's before the accident." I like that line. I wish I'd lived like it was "before the accident" before the accident...but I digress.
    I will say this - I think I lived as much as possible pre-SCI.

    At age 4 my family spent 6 months in Greece - 1 in Athens and 5 on my mother's birth-island (Lefkas for those interested). I got to run all over Lefkas in the summertime - ah the memories. Playing rugby league and soccer for 2.5 years pre-SCI was the other highlight.

    I managed to pack a good deal of memories into those 7 years pre-SCI.

    As for needing a $100K car, nobody really needs that. When Christian preachers run around judging people left, right and centre, the truth is we are all sinners in the West. When I bought my 20-inch iMac with all the trimmings, I could have bought a cheaper computer and fed somebody with the surplus. But I didn't.

    Even as we search for a cure and raise money for clinical trials, we are still in many ways acting in pure self-interest. How many people on the boards have uttered the words "SCI is the worst thing that could happen to anybody"? Yes, it's completely devastating, but then so is growing up in an African village where 2/3 of the adults have AIDS, you have lived with hunger your entire life, and your life expectancy isn't even in the double-digits.

    Quote Originally Posted by Scorpion
    This is just another example to me that shows no matter how many Mark Zupans or John Hockenberry's there are who basically say they're "okay" with being paralyzed, and no matter how many of us might smile and strive to live a full life despite our SCIs (and succeed?) without telling everyone all about all the horrors of SCI (bowel/bladder issues, sex issues, etc, etc), most people who are AB will never see SCI/paralysis as something that's "no big deal"...even if they have no clue as to how hard life with SCI/paralysis can be.
    I would be interested in speaking to Zupan in 10 years time.

    I spent my entire teens thinking SCI had ultimately improved my life. It must have been part of God's plan. Perhaps without my SCI I would have gotten into drugs etc (even at 7 I was one of the school bullies...). Perhaps minus SCI I would never have discovered my academic gifts. I came up with all sorts of scenarios whereby my SCI had 'improved' my life.

    Now that I'm fast closing in on 25 years post, I realise that's all a load of crap. There is no plan - God could never be so cruel. My life has not been improved overall. I have seen friends travel overseas to study or backpack across Europe. I have seen them get married, have children, get divorced and re-marry. I have seen them live life they way it was intended.

    Every morning I wake up and realise I'm wearing a CPAP mask and can't even sit up in bed on my own. This C5 complete quad's life is not better off thanks to SCI.

    I have a good life - despite SCI.

    Chris.
    Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Larry in 'Closer', a play by Partick Marber

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by cspanos
    How many people on the boards have uttered the words "SCI is the worst thing that could happen to anybody"?

    I would be interested in speaking to Zupan in 10 years time.

    Chris.
    If that's a real question that you're interested in answers to, why don't you start a poll thread and ask it. I certainly have never said or thought that SCI (even at it's more extreme levels like a vdq) is the worst thing that could happen.

    I'd be interested in talking with Zupan in a decade or so as well.

    Steve

  8. #8
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    I agree with all that has been written previously. Just because one makes the best of a bad situation doesn't make it a good situation. What would my life have been like without disability? I'll never know, but I damn sure wish I could have made a choice. No doubt in my mind that I would have chosen not to have a disability. Anybody here need more time to consider?

    I've never seen Murderball, so I have no opinion on the film or how SCI was portrayed. I am aware that some feel that the negative aspects of SCI did not get enough exposure. Yet, by drawing attention to SCI, Murderball gives those critics a vehicle to get their message out to the AB population. As Scorpion wrote, I doubt that the film made any AB's envious of those with SCI. I also agree with Jeff that those in the limelight have a responsibility to advocate for a cure.

    Living like before the injury - a cool thought. Carpe Diem, indeed!

    I live with no regret (what's the point?) and am grateful for the life I have. I honor the challenges physical disability presents. I'm certain these challenges have helped to make me strong and resilient. Disability has also made me a kinder and more empathic person than I might have been. Do I want the cure? YESTERDAY, IF NOT SOONER! My life is successful despite my disability, not because of it.
    Last edited by Foolish Old; 11-16-2006 at 09:59 AM.
    Foolish

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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foolish Old
    I live with no regret (what's the point?) and am grateful for the life I have. I honor the challenges physical disability presents. I'm certain these challenges have helped to make me strong and resilient. Disability has also made me a kinder and more empathic person than I might have been. Do I want the cure? YESTERDAY, IF NOT SOONER! My life is successful despite my disability, not because of it.
    These are my thoughts as well. I don't understand what the point is to keep living in what if I had done this instead of that. I havent forgotten but I have chosen not to "waller" (cant think of a better word) in the past, I cant change that.

    I think we all have the responsibility to advocate for a cure. I dont think people believe Zupan for a minute that he is better off with his SCI and he wouldnt want to be cured. Maybe it is how he deals with his life...he convinces himself it is better therefore it is. I have an aunt that does this religiously. If she keeps saying something over and over then after a while it just seems like it is reality. She tried to convince me that my dad was going to be cured from small cell metastic lung cancer over and over and over. We all have different ways of dealing with these injuries but I dont know of any able bodied person I have ever met who cant see that I would be better off with a cure for this SCI.

    However I do live in the heart of the Bible belt and there have been some interesting letters in our local paper regarding stem cell research. It seems that people who have family members with a disease Stem cells could possibly cure are on the band wagon for it while hard core bible thumpers are against it.

    I think any film that brings attention to what SCI is really like would help more people "see".
    Last edited by darkeyed_daisy; 11-16-2006 at 01:15 PM.
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  10. #10
    I think what John Mayer meant was "you just got to make the best of it" and he realized why should he have a $100K car? if Zupan doesnt want cured, so what, I dont think Mayer was looking into it that much, but maybe he was just brought back to reality.

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