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Thread: I'm feeling guilty

  1. #11
    Senior Member
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    Thanks guys... I am so glad that CC is here...

    Sieg

  2. #12
    Senior Member ChopperChick's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
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    Northern California
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    Yoof me that I go to nts he is rpressed. W4mod noeen all dow... Sng...
    Last edited by ChopperChick; 10-31-2006 at 11:37 AM.

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Obieone
    Oh I can relate to the guilt you describe ..... I used to feel guilty evertime I went to the bathroom to pee when Bill was first injured now thats clearly over the top and totally misplaced guilt ! But I just couldn't get past those feelings for the first little while because by comparison everything I did in my life seemed so effortless and trite relative to the way Bill had to live !
    I finally did come to terms with all that but it took awhile .... I finally made up my mind I needed to look after me too and when I take time off for myself I just do it and try not to let my mind go to that dark place. That decision finally led me to the point of finally making a trip to Arizona to see my Mom, having my knee surgery and facing the realization I have some significant weight to loose all of which piled up on me as a result of all that guilt !
    But I won't kid you guys .... its been 8 years almost 9 now and its still hard some days and even though I go places and do things and genuinely enjoy myself there will always be a sorrow in my heart for all that was lost the day Bill was injured ! I simply accept that fact as part of my life !
    I do take some comfort in the gift of the realization of what is truly important in our life and try never to take simple pleasures for granted. Its too bad it takes something so tragic to get there ... I just wish the rest of the world would get it without having to experience something like we have!
    ..... oh and I should mention finding CareCure all those years ago surely helped as well I can't imagine having to go through this without the support I found here ... I'm glad you found us too !

    Obieone
    that's so true. I feel like my eyes were opened to so much after my husband became ill. Right now he's been bed-bound(?) for almost a year and I find myself missing stupid things like running to wal-mart together! WAL-MART! I FREAKING HATE WAL-MART! But I miss going with him. He used to work nights and come home at like 4am and we'd go to IHOP for breakfast. Sometimes I would be too tired. I didn't want to go. now I am wishing I had NEVER turned him down. If I had only known...
    Our life before this is like a surreal dream. Did he ever really walk around freely? Did he ever really drive? It just seems like a dream when I remember him being healthy (he's got spinal chondrosarcoma).

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