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Thread: 9 Volt Battery

  1. #1
    Senior Member patd's Avatar
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    9 Volt Battery

    This is what I told my Boss last Tuesday, " Have you ever stuck your tongue on a 9 volt battery? That's how I felt from the chest down shortly after my morning hand bike ride. It's scary, exciting, painful and I'm anxious all at the same time!" I told him I couldn't think of a better thing to do than get up on my walking setup in my garage and see how it feels.

    I feel lucky that my Boss and 4 yr/old mimic the Dr. when they say, "Keep doing what your doing!"

    So, Wednesday I wake up with what feels like a new slice of body! What I mean is that there is, say a verticle inch of body that I can feel and move right below the bottom of the ribs. Stomach, backstraps and lats and the side muscles. (I can't remember what they are called!)

    It's been 3 yrs and 7 months and I feel more each day! Also, the stationary bike workouts and the walker setup workouts are more tiring as more feeling and proprioception fill in!

    Just wanted to spew and let everyone know that return doesn't stop at 2 yrs. ! Pat

  2. #2
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
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    Pat thats f'ing awesome, congrats on all your progress and return.
    Injured:10-16-04
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  3. #3
    Hi PatD,

    This is what I told my Boss last Tuesday, "Have you ever stuck your tongue on a 9 volt battery?
    I'm in uncontrollable suspense, what was his reply?

    Next ask him if he ever stuck his tongue on a frozen flagpole.

    And in re your returns, keep doing what your doing!
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  4. #4
    Senior Member patd's Avatar
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    Smile

    BC

    I'm in uncontrollable suspense, what was his reply?

    He said yes, of course!

    I'll ask him about the flag pole. He is from Montana. It's cold there. Pat

  5. #5
    congratulations Pat, and thanks for the encouragment!

  6. #6
    Hi PatD,

    He said yes, of course!
    Haven't we all!

    I'll ask him about the flag pole. He is from Montana. It's cold there.
    He might not fall for that one since he lives in Montana. Or he may have seen the movie "A Christmas Story" starring Peter Billingsley who wanted "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and 'this thing', which tells time" BB gun. Of course his mom said "You'll put an eye out with that thing!"

    If you haven't seen the movie the kids at school talked an unwitting classmate into sticking his tongue onto a frozen flagpole. Well the bell rang and recess was over and the kid was still stuck outside to the flagpole. The teacher looked out the window and saw him stuck there and....

    I think there was a similar prank done in "Dumb and Dumber" but with some added special effects!

    Bob.
    Last edited by bob clark; 10-14-2006 at 07:53 AM.
    "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by bob clark
    I think there was a similar prank done in "Dumb and Dumber" but with some added special effects!

    Bob.
    You're right! Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne licks the ascending bar of his ski-lift chair and spends considerable time there. The effects are, as with many/most Farrelly Bros. productions, ridiculous/hilarious.


    Memorable Quotes from
    Dumb & Dumber (1994)


    Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
    Harry: That's a special feeling, Lloyd.
    [after Lloyd trades the van in for a moped]
    Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!
    Harry: So you got fired again, eh?
    Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know?
    Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.
    Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
    Harry: No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.
    Lloyd: Hey, chicks love it. Its the shaggin' wagon.
    [to the dogs in his van]
    Harry: OK gang, you know the rules, no humping, no licking, no sniffing hineys.
    Harry: Check out the funbags on that hosehound.
    Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti.
    Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
    Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.
    Lloyd: If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.
    Harry: Hi Lloyd!
    Lloyd: Hi Harry!
    Harry: How was your day?
    Lloyd: Not bad. Fell off a jet way again.
    Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
    Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
    Harry: Skis, huh?
    Beth: That's right!
    Harry: Great! They yours?
    Beth: Uh-huh.
    Harry: Both of 'em?
    Beth: Yes.
    Harry: Ah... cool!
    Lloyd: We got no food, no jobs... our PET'S HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"
    Harry: Yeah, well, I don't know. These places just don't do it for me.
    Lloyd: What's the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart?
    Harry: No, it was a girl.
    Lloyd: Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.
    Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo?
    [Harry and Lloyd crack up]
    Lloyd: Flo, like the TV show. Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
    Flo, Waitress #1: It's the Soup of the Day.
    Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.
    Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
    Lady at bus stop: Austria.
    Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
    Lady at bus stop: Let's not.
    Lloyd: This isn't my real job, you know.
    Mary: No?
    Lloyd: Nope. My friend Harry and I are saving up money for a pet store.
    Mary: That's nice.
    Lloyd: I got worms!
    Mary: I beg your pardon?
    Lloyd: That's what we're gonna call it. I got worms! We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.
    Lloyd: Well suck me sideways!
    Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
    Airport Clerk: Sir, you can't go in there!
    Lloyd: It's ok, I'm a limo driver!
    Harry: One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu.
    Mary: Really? That's strange.
    Harry: Yeah, we called it a bullshit.
    Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
    Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
    Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
    Mary: Not good.
    Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
    Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
    [pause]
    Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.
    [while petting Petey, who's head has been taped back on by duct tape]
    Blind Kid: Pretty bird. Can you say pretty bird? Pretty bird.
    Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
    Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
    Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
    Harry: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.
    Lloyd: So where are you headin'?
    Mary: Aspen.
    Lloyd: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!
    Lloyd: I'll bet you twenty dollars I can get you gambling before the day is out!
    Harry: No!
    Lloyd: I'll give you three to one odds.
    Harry: No.
    Lloyd: Five to one.
    Harry: No.
    Lloyd: Ten to one?
    Harry: You're on!
    Lloyd: I'm gonna get ya!
    Harry: Nu uh!
    Lloyd: I don't know how but I'm gonna get ya.
    Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there!
    Mary: I beg your pardon?
    Harry: The owls! They're beautiful!
    [coming out of the 7-11]
    Lloyd: Hey, guys. Big gulps, huh? Cool. All right! Well, see ya later.
    Harry: I don't get it, Lloyd. She told me ten o clock, sharp! Are you sure you went to the right bar?
    Lloyd: Yep. I'm pretty sure. Lobby bar right by the lobby. Maybe she just had a change of heart.
    Harry: Oh, that pisses me off! That pisses me right off! I hate when women do that. She wanted to see you again! And now no? Now... wait a minute! Wait! She must have meant ten o clock at night!
    Lloyd: Do you think...?
    Harry: Why would she meet you in a bar at ten in the morning?
    Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.
    Lloyd: Why you going to the airport, flying somewhere?
    Mary: How'd you guess?
    Lloyd: I saw your luggage, then when I noticed the airline ticket I put 2 and 2 together.
    Sea Bass' Friend: Kick his ass, Sea Bass!
    Lloyd: Hey, look, the Monkees. They were a huge influence on the Beatles.
    [man and woman walk by]
    Harry: Ooh, look at the buns on that one...
    Lloyd: Yeah, he must work out.
    Lloyd: You're it.
    Harry: You're it.
    Lloyd: You're it, quitsies!
    Harry: Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
    Lloyd: You can't do that!
    Harry: Can too!
    Lloyd: Cannot, stamp it!
    Harry: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
    Lloyd: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
    Harry: No, you can't do that... you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
    Lloyd: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!
    Harry: LLOYD! LLOYD! LLOYD!
    Mary: Okay, how do you guys know each other?
    Lloyd: We used to be best friends.
    Harry: Yeah, until he turned into a back-stabber.
    Lloyd: Me, a back-stabber? You've got a lot of nerve. You knew I was crazy about her!
    Harry: Yeah, and you knew I was crazy about Fraida Felcher, and that didn't stop you, did it?
    Lloyd: What do you mean?
    Harry: "What do you mean?" Don't deny it, Lloyd. Fraida told me the whole sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler! I guess we both learned a little something about each other today.
    Lloyd: You said it, pal. Maybe we're not as good of friends as we thought. I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart, then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now.
    Harry: You just tell me where to sign, bud.
    Lloyd: Right on my ass after you kiss it!
    Harry: You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips, right here!
    Harry: According to the map we've only gone 4 inches.
    Mary: So you'll pick me up tonight at seven forty-five?
    Harry: Well I got a few things to take care of. So how about we make it quarter to eight?
    Mary: [Laughs] Stop it
    Harry: Okay. Seven forty-five
    Lloyd: I'm only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad!
    Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
    Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.
    State Trooper: Pullover!
    Harry: No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing.
    Lloyd: Yeah, killer boots man!
    Harry: I can't believe it.
    Lloyd: Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat.
    Harry: But he blamed me. You heard him. Those were his last words.
    Lloyd: Not if you count the gurgling sound.
    Lloyd: [sees framed newspaper article about moon landing] No Way!
    [chuckles]
    Lloyd: WE LANDED ON THE MOON!
    [while looking back at Mary]
    Lloyd: There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck! That's the worst! I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin...
    [Lloyd drives right through a red light, causing a fatal accident visible in the window]
    Mary: Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please?
    Lloyd: Oh, yeah! Good thinking. You can't be too careful. There are a lot of bad drivers out there.
    Mental: Gas man. How the hell did they know that I got gas?
    Mrs. Neugeboren: Where have you been? My dogs were supposed to be here FORTY minutes ago! Now, I hardly have any time to primp them!
    Harry: Don't worry about a thing, Mrs. Noogieburger.
    Mrs. Neugeboren: NEUGEBOREN!
    Harry: What's her last name? I'll look it up.
    Lloyd: You know, I don't really recall. Starts with an S! Let's see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
    Harry: Maybe it's on the briefcase.
    Lloyd: Oh, yeah! It's right here.
    [He reads the manufacturer's name, which is Samsonite]
    Lloyd: Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.
    Dale's Man: They're driving an '84... Sheepdog.
    Lloyd: Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
    Lloyd: [to motorcycle cop] Tic-Tac, sir?
    Beth: So I told myself. Beth you just got to run girl and oh you know what that clutz did next?
    Lloyd: No and I DON'T CARE!
    Lloyd: We don't usually pick up hitchhikers... but I'm-a gonna go with my instincts on this one. Saddle up partner!
    [checking Harry & Lloyd's apartment]
    Mental: Briefcase ain't here, they must've taken it with them.
    J.P. Shay: Well, he's gotta come home sometime.
    Mental: Maybe we should trash the place, send them a little message.
    J.P. Shay: [looks around] I don't think he's gonna get that message Joe, I mean, the guy's got worms in his living room.
    Lloyd: Mock
    Harry: Yeah!
    Lloyd: Ing
    Harry: Yeah!
    Lloyd: Bird
    Harry: Yeah!
    Lloyd: Yeah!
    Harry: Yeah!
    Lloyd: She actually talked to me.
    Harry: Get outta here!
    State Trooper: You fellas been doing a bit of boozing, have you? Suckin back on grandpa's old cough medicine?
    Lloyd: Some people just aren't cut out for life on the road.
    Harry: Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg...
    Lloyd: Okay, Kill Him!
    Harry: What's in the briefcase?
    Lloyd: Man, I would have to be a real lowlife to go rooting around in someone else's private property.
    Harry: Is it locked?
    Lloyd: Yeah. Really well.
    Harry: Where's the booze?
    Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
    Harry: Oh, no, no.
    Lloyd: Come on, Harry.
    Harry: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
    Lloyd: Yeah?
    Harry: He's dead.
    Lloyd: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
    Harry: His head fell off.
    Lloyd: His head fell off?
    Harry: Yeah. He was pretty old.
    Lloyd: I get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.
    Lloyd: She says, "Do you love me?" and I say, "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."
    Lloyd: Excuse me, little old lady. Do you have change for a dollar?
    Elderly woman: Change? No I'm sorry, I don't.
    Lloyd: Well, can you do me a favor and watch my stuff here while I go break a dollar?
    Elderly woman: Of course.
    Lloyd: Thanks. Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me!
    Lloyd: [after a confrontation with Sea Bass] You really wimped out, man.
    Harry: What are you talking about, wimped out? Wha... Did you s... The guy hawked on my burger!
    [first lines]
    Lloyd: Excuse me. Could you tell me how to get to the medical school? I'm supose to be giving a lecture in 20 minutes, and my driver's a bit lost.
    Beth: [at the gas station] Uh sir, you're... you're spraying everywhere...
    Mental: Shut up! Now we don't even know who the hell they are! You don't kill people you don't know. That's a rule.
    Lloyd: [Opening the door on Nicholas Andre, who he thinks is a hotel employee] We have plenty of towels - thank you!
    Mary: [after hearing on TV about the kid who bought a dead bird] Who are these sick people?
    Harry: Weirdo.
    Lloyd: Sucker of big, brown dirty eggs.
    Harry: Moron.
    Lloyd: Raider of the lost fart.
    Harry: Buttfish.
    Lloyd: Masterbatorio... er, soiler of towels.
    Nicholas Andre: SHUT UP!
    Beth: I'm gonna give you my number. Let's see if I can find it...
    Harry: Great!
    [Notices his left leg is on fire]
    Harry: Ha!
    Beth: Okay. I know I left it in here somewhere.
    Harry: [Stomping his left leg] Look! Why don't you just tell it to me! I have a really good memory!
    Beth: Well, the number is 555-...
    [Harry repeats it almost silently]
    Beth: ... -905 - . Oh wait! That's my aunt's number. That is so weird how your mind just goes blank -
    Harry: [Gets impatient, still trying to stomp the fire out] FOR GOD'S SAKE! JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN NUMBER!
    Beth: [Looks at Harry appalled] Okay. Look guy! Your gonna get pushy, FORGET about it!
    [Beth drives off, and Harry stomps away to the bathroom to put the fire out]

  8. #8
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

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