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  1. #1

    Hello It's Me RS From Sri Lanka

    Hello everyone it's me rS from sri lanka. I was not able to access this site for sometime due to technical reasons I guess, but that period was very hard fro me. I missed this site like I miss a family member. My mum, 65 years old paraplegic is still the same, not much recovery. But she is talking and has a bed sore which we treat with the best care we can get. Now the main problem is moving her. although she is very thin it is very difficult to move her from bed to the chair or to the comode. All of us I know ( me, my sister and my father ) has hurt our backs even though we do not say it out ) I feel so sorry for my mum, she is telling us that she is a burden to us all, no matter how much we console her.

    Now it is the ramazan fasting season, so she is more sad as she does not want to trouble us. everytime she is asking us to give her some tablets so that she can close her eyes and dye. then she says she will not feel any pain and she cannot go on like this anymore. In our religion she also knows that it is the almighty god who has the right to take a life. she is so depressed she is telling this.

    Sometimes when i am talking to her she seems o.k. but most of the time she hates herself for what happened. she says that if she has not gone on the certain trip last year this would not have happened.

    I hope she will be alright coz I love her soo much and to see her in this state is killing me

    RS
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:45 AM.

  2. #2
    Moderator Obieone's Avatar
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    Hello RS ..... I'm so sorry your family is going through this. All I can offer is my prayers for the strength you need to live each day! I wish for your Mom "peace" ! Someday we'll have all the answers to our questions !

    Obieone
    I'm glad your technical difficulties resolved and you are are back posting again - at least you have us to shoulder your burdens !
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:43 AM.
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  3. #3
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    I have missed you RS. I am glad you are back. Sorry your mom is still the same. It takes a long time sometimes to heal even a little.
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:43 AM.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

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  4. #4
    Senior Member WM's Avatar
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    Hi RS

    I am very sorry for the pain you are all going through. My mama was much the same way as your's sounds---hated to trouble anyone for anything. Felt bad because she felt that she should be taking care of US, and not US taking care of her. But, we loved her and so, of course, it was not trouble---Hard at times, but never "trouble". I would try to convince her of that, that she was never trouble. She would say, "It hurts me because I can't DO anything for YOU." I would ask her if she loved me and she would tell me "of course I love you!" And I would tell her --that is all I need. As long as you love me, that is all I need and you ARE doing a huge thing for me, by loving me.----

    My mama had Parkinson's disease, not SCI. It affected her in many ways physically and mentally, and affected her speaking. But, no matter how ill she became, even if she could not say anything else, she could manage to say "I love you." almost to the very end. The day she could not get that out, was the day I knew she would not be with me much longer. And then she died a week or so later.

    I don't tell you this to make you suffer or feel bad for me, but to let you know that I understand how it hurts to watch one's mother suffer. It is like hell on earth. I loved my mama more than anything. I would have taken her place if I could have.

    Hang in there and give yourself and your mum a hug from me. I wish there was something I could actually DO to help you. I know how bad you are all hurting.
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:43 AM.
    "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

  5. #5
    Welcome back, RS.
    You do not want to have another person in your family with an injured back! Have you had any training from a physical therapist on how to transfer your mother without hurting your own back? There are ways to do it while placing the least strain on your back. As far as possible, keep your back straight, bend your knees not your back, hold the clothing at her hips, and slide your mother rather than lift her. Is she able to assist by pushing down with her arms? Do you have a transfer board? Perhaps SCI nurse could give you some ideas, or point you to where this information can be found on the internet.
    - Richard
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:43 AM.

  6. #6
    Welcome back. Sorry your back is hurt. You and your family must be very careful now, because your mum needs you. Sorry she is so sad...

  7. #7
    Hello again, RS. I'm glad to see you here again. You've been missed.

    Sorry to hear your Mum is sad, depressed. As I understand it, Ramadan lasts a month. I hope she will be less sad soon, less sad as Ramadan ends.

    Talk to us anytime. We will listen, understand.

    Please take care of yourself, your back. Your Mum needs you. We need you here, too.

    Sending hugs and good wishes to you, your family and your beloved Mum.
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:42 AM.

  8. #8
    Dear everyone,
    Thanks alot for your support. I feel home again. Can anyone tell me exactly how I can transfer my mum from the bed to the chair, or to make her sit on the bed itself. Are there good methods without me having to buy any accessories, Any advice is welcome

    Thanks again
    rs
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:42 AM.

  9. #9
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    rs,

    it is good to hear from you again. i was thinkink that you ad been missing for a while. do you have a transfer board? it works like a bridge from the chair to bed, or chair to commode, etc.

    http://www.sammonspreston.com/Supply...?Leaf_Id=6113#

    this is an example. mine is simply made of 7 ply plywood. my husband made me another one, as i wanted a shorter one. he sanded it smooth and put several layers of finish on it so it is very smooth. hopefully you know someone who works with wood who could make you one.

    its use is explained here (scroll down to "slide board")

    http://calder.med.miami.edu/pointis/transpro.html

    hopefully someone else can explain the use of the transfer (slide) board better than the above site does. my explanations tend to ramble.
    Last edited by Jim; 10-18-2012 at 10:42 AM.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  10. #10
    Senior Member BeeBee's Avatar
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