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Thread: A really petty gripe, can anyone relate? (m)

  1. #11
    Senior Member BeeBee's Avatar
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    I TOTALLY understand. My son's habit is to wait until I'm 1/3 of the way down the stairs, and then call, "hey, Mom". I could stand or sit in his room for 23 hours non-stop, and he'd never ask for a thing. The instant I put my foot on the 3rd step (must be a trigger in the carpet?), I hear: "hey, Mom". And then, I HAVE to say, "what?". He will never put the whole string together. I don't mind getting him a drink from his fridge, I mind going right back where I came from, or worse going back to his room to find out he wanted something from downstairs, where I was headed.
    BeeBee

  2. #12
    Senior Member Robynbird569's Avatar
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    I am a caregiver, I know the extent of getting things for them, but I also keep in the back of my mind that if they could get things for themselves they would be up in a heartbeat to get it. It does get frustrating, I will admit, but I know it is just as frustrating for them that they cant get or do things for themselves. So neither of us is in a win-win situation. As long as it is something that they cant possibly do for themselves, or get, I will always be there to assist, for I can only imagine what it must be like.


    Stay safe my son. See you around thanksgiving!

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by queen
    Zill, this is why I only visit my mother for no more than a (7 day) period.
    She's 83,
    Ami,
    You are a very busy lady and its ok to vent once in a while. I am with Queen on this issue except my mom is only in her 60's but I could pretty much write a book. She drives me mad and I find that after an hour with her my tongue is pretty well numb from biting it so many times.

    Just vent often and keep hanging in there....Im ordering you a "wonder woman" suit....and you can wear it with pride. LOL

    Maybe we can get together soon and have a girls night or something.

    (((((Ami)))))
    Last edited by darkeyed_daisy; 10-04-2006 at 09:15 AM.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  4. #14
    Senior Member teesieme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeeBee
    I TOTALLY understand. My son's habit is to wait until I'm 1/3 of the way down the stairs, and then call, "hey, Mom". I could stand or sit in his room for 23 hours non-stop, and he'd never ask for a thing. The instant I put my foot on the 3rd step (must be a trigger in the carpet?), I hear: "hey, Mom". And then, I HAVE to say, "what?". He will never put the whole string together. I don't mind getting him a drink from his fridge, I mind going right back where I came from, or worse going back to his room to find out he wanted something from downstairs, where I was headed.
    Been there... for me it would sure seem like every time I finally decided it had been a long enough wait between his asking to do something but then got sidetracked due to a very busy social life more often than not...he'd be ready just when I had taken the first couple bites of a meal I'd been putting off as I waited.
    Let's just say his wheeling around the corner became my 'trigger point' to growl like a dog protecting my food- LMAO! And then we'd laugh 'cause it just figured.

    But yeah, Ami the pressures of being 'available' to someone 24/7 and trying to make it so will wear on you. As well, it wears on the one in need too... I am betting his way with his words were once, years back perhaps a tease or a way of asking for more assistance than he felt he should be or wanting to ask of that turned into a short version of- after we do what needs to be done, I will need to you to do this and has evolved to an even shorter version...or something as such perhaps.

    My advice: Growl a warning- hee hee.
    "I want to make a difference! However small it may be~ as long as it's a positive one, then this is what my life will have been about and I will go knowing I did my best.~ T.

  5. #15
    Petty! Not!

    It's the (seemingly) little things that can drive one nutzzzz.. I've gone through some major medical crises with Debbie that one might think would have been the most difficult to deal with in terms of our having a committed relationship, but - as hard as those are - it's the other stuff that has caused us the most grief. Case in point - ye olde toothpaste tube. I squeeze from the middle, she rolls the tube nice and neat from the bottom. Drove her crazy how I did it, and I was aggravated that she was making a big deal of it! Now that sounds petty, does it not, but it was those types of problems that caused the most issues for us. We had to learn to compromise and communicate and it was not easy with two stubborn women!

    I'm sure you and Chad will find some middle ground with this problem. In the meantime, keep venting cause I hear and understand the aggravation!

  6. #16
    Senior Member queen's Avatar
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    I know my Mom loves for me to visit and she has her "blue haired" friends that she rattles around with on a daily basis, as she is always on the go.

    When she does repeat a lot, I think she just forgets who shes told what.

    All her activities aside, I think she does get lonely and maybe just
    wants someone to talk to. That might be the case for a lot of you who
    care for your loved one 24/7....I'm excluding husbands here cause I
    think it's genetic with them and they just can't help themselves.

    I have plans to visit her for a week beginning this Saturday and I know
    by the time I leave I will have a....

    signed: Numb Tongue Too!
    Your life is what you make it, and only you have that choice!

  7. #17
    Senior Member roshni's Avatar
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    zillazangel,

    In the great big scheme of things, semantics may be seemingly trivial but it really is NOT petty. My grandfather has Alzheimer's disease and we're finding that we need to lay down the guidelines for communication. I realize that Alzheimer's is a different scenario but if you don't want a 25-hour day, you have to redefine your relationship and sometimes that redefinition begins with the choice of words we hear constantly throughout the day.

  8. #18
    My husband can't leave the house without going back in for something. I call it dawdling. Now mind you, it's possible he's only getting in the van to take me to the doctor. But when I sit in the van for the 200 bazillionth time because he forgot the map/keys/whatever, after 23 years it still feels like a power struggle because he's making me wait.

    The other day he was driving to Tucumcari NM to pick me up. This is a long trip to pick somebody up, he was so determined to be there on time that he had a thermos of coffee, mp3 player hooked up, van cleaned out. He didn't go back in the house.

    He was in Amarillo TX when he realized he was on a road trip with no wallet.

    My friend had to finance the whole thing (buy us lunch/gas/snacks) because I was penniless and for once Steve didn't go back in the house.

    It's the little things that make us the craziest. I'm just glad I'm not a caregiver. Peace to all of yall that are.

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Kendell
    Case in point - ye olde toothpaste tube. I squeeze from the middle, she rolls the tube nice and neat from the bottom. Drove her crazy how I did it, and I was aggravated that she was making a big deal of it! Now that sounds petty, does it not, but it was those types of problems that caused the most issues for us.
    What about Hers and Hers toothpaste? It's a simple, low-cost solution to have two tubes. You may then each squeeze as you prefer to your hearts' content.

    Voila!

    BTW, glad to see you posting again.

  10. #20
    respite
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