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Thread: my mum is crying telling that she wants to come home from rehab

  1. #1

    my mum is crying telling that she wants to come home from rehab

    my mum is a 65 years old, diabetic, t8 complete paraplegic from Sri Lanka. She was sent to the rehab which is very far from home about 1 and a half month ago. only my father visits her once a week because I have a small baby to take care of. My mother had a bed sore but was cured after a long 7 or 8 months, but she has a small one again now at the rehab. so she has to sleep on her sides, she has to turn every 2 hours to the other side and sleep . She cannot sleep on her back so when she is sleeping like this her both hand ( which are now very weak and streangthless) is very very paining it seems. today she has cried to my father telling that she cannot bear any more pain, please take me home, but the nurses has told him that as she has the bed sore there is noway that they can send her home. Oh god why is such a thing happening to our mum who doesn't hurt a fly. We are so helpless, what are we to do? is it right to bring her home from the rehab and take care of her? I don't want my mum to suffer like this.

    Our mum looked after us when she was fine but now we are unable to help her. what can we do now. shall I bring her home and keep her on the bed and take care of her. she is old now, so after coming home from the rehab however she will never be able to walk anyway, they say that they keep her there to make her balance while she is sitting and train her for bowel care and bladder care, but what in the process of doing this, if it is very painfull and what if we lose her?

    Please help me I am desperate.

  2. #2
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    So sorry to hear this Riyasa, a spinal cord injury is traumatic at a young age. I can't imagine what your mum must be feeling. I would almost agree with you in taking her out of rehab and care for her at home. At least you would know she was being cared for. The sores are a very real concern. At that age, she may do better at home. Older people tend to give up in situations such as these.

    I understand the rehabs intentions of wanting to teach to balance and do bowel/bladder care but her age must also be considered. If you are willing to take on the responsibilty of caring for your mother along with your baby then I would bring her home. It seems elderly people just get worse and worse when they are hospitalized. Your mother may be depressed about being there and that may be making her pain worse.

    I wish you and your family the best of luck in your decisions Riyasa. If it were my mother, I would at least try it at home.....if it didnt work out she could always go back to the rehab.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  3. #3
    Riyasa-

    I think you've already tried it at home and it was a horrible burden for your father, which doubled the pressure on your mum. In my opinion it is best that the rehab be given a longer chance. Your father won't be happy when he has to wake up every 2 hours to turn her.

    I think rehab will give her the capability to turn herself. Her injury is low which will help if she can get some strength. I don't think returning to rehab later will be an option for her-or am I wrong about that?

    This is very hard for you to watch. It's sad and scary. I hope your family can muster the faith to give rehab more of a chance, and encourage your mum to get stronger every minute of every day.

    Remember your father. It's not good for your mum if he's resentful. She needs a chance at more independence...for all of you.

    Best wishes and good luck.

  4. #4
    No matter what age we all wanted to go from rehab.

    Best for her to learn what she can.
    Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

    I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

  5. #5
    I say, honor your motherĀ“s wishes and share the burden of caring for her with your father.
    I truly hope that if I make it to 65, that my wishes will be respected.

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